I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
September, October, November, and December should have been the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th month.
Whoever screwed this up—- I hope he got stabbed.
Before the clock strikes midnight on december 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
What do Redditors say when greeting each other on December 31st?
What did Adam say to Eve on December 31st and Jan 1st?
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
Why was 2020 unhappy on 31 December?
What did the haunted spice cabinet say when December arrived?
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December
Most Americans are looking forward to December 2020 because Trump should be gone Biden.
December is the month when the kids begin to discuss what to get Dad for Christmas.
Some insist on a shirt.
Others insist on a pair of socks.
The argument always ends in a tie.
December tenth is the best day of the year
Apparently, you can only see the ghost of Santa December 25th
That's when he reveals his presents
Today I learned I will assume my final form and will he becoming a dad in December.
Probably name my kid Luke so I can remind him who I am for the rest of eternity.
What did Adam say to his girlfriend on December 24?
It's Christmas, Eve!
Ps Merry Christmas, happy holidays etc etc to all my fellow dads and dad joke lovers 👍
Did you know December 23 is a holiday too?
Its Christmas Adam. Because Adam came before Eve
If you were born between December 22nd and January 20th then that means you're a part of the
Every dad on the 31st of december at 11.59PM
December is the worst time of the year for someone who is
Dads everywhere on December 31st..
See you next decade! Laughing maniacally
My boss didnt give me a single weekend off this December
Towards the end of December, I saw Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov in a hotel lobby, both saying they were the better chess player.
That's the best thing about Christmas - chess nuts boasting on an open foyer.
My friend is still wearing tank tops in December
I guess he’s exercising his right to bare arms
My father passed away in December. Here's one of his favorites.
Every time we had cornbread for dinner he would say, "pi r squared? Pie are not squared, pie are round. Cornbread are squared."
On the 31st of December whilst leaving home to go to a New Years Party, your dad says ...
If you order something on the 30th of December and get 2-day shipping.
Isn’t it considered next year shipping?
I can't wait for Christmas this December, but the 31st will be stressful.
I've been diagnosed with old langxiety.
Since it’s December 23rd I want to wish you all merry Christmas Adam!
Buying all christmas presents in early december...
What do cows do on December 31st?
Celebrate Moo Years Eve of course!
On December 18, 2015, seeing the new Star Wars movie will be on my R2D2-do list.
I just asked my dad, "Guess what's in December?"
He said, "I don't know, 30 days?"
Note my birthday is in December
Any military battle fought on December 25th...
I think my dad's been waiting for December all year...
Setting the scene: a rainy evening. Sitting in living room. Talking about a movie.
DAD: Oh! There's reindeer on the roof!
DAD: (smacks forehead theatrically) I mean, there's rain on the roof, dear!
My friend, who is getting married on December, seems to be practicing for when he becomes a dad
We were at the beach yesterday and I see an area that says "Emergency Ramp". However, there was no ramp in that area so I say: "I didn't see the ramp".
His reply: "But did you see the emergency?"
December 24 is my grandma's birthday, so we have all the family together to celebrate Christmas and her birthday at the same time.
Every year my father think's it's hilarious to say "It's amazing, you were born a day before Jesus and are still with us."
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg.
That way you will start the new year off on the right foot.
What did Adam say on December 24?