Algebra 2 puns
My social life is like 0 - 4i: complex and imaginary.
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︎ Dec 09 2019
2 puns, 1 post. Resistol (resist all) poison. This type of hat is called a Cattleman, hence the name βThe Rattlemanβ
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︎ Mar 27 2019
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?
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︎ Feb 21 2021
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
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︎ Jan 21 2021
2 is the only prime number that is even.
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︎ Apr 24 2021
I challenged my son, "Take 4 and subtract 2 from it. Whatβs left? Rolling his eyes, he sighed, "2." I yelled, NOPE!"
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︎ Mar 13 2021
When 2 things just work together perfectly they're a
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks....
"Do you sell flop flops?"
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Wife: "My Gynecologist says I can't have sex for 2 weeks."
Husband: "What did the Dentist say?"
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︎ Apr 02 2021
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
If it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan...
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︎ Mar 22 2021
2 dogs walked in a bar...
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︎ Apr 17 2021
Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
2 silk worms had a race....
.....they ended up in a tie.
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︎ Apr 21 2021
What is 2 eggs in France?
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︎ Mar 24 2021
Desmond 3-2.
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︎ May 02 2021
Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he became completely obnoxious
Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Why did the Roman Soldiers have to crucify Jesus 6ft away from the 2 thieves?
...to prevent cross-contamination.
Happy Easter.
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︎ Apr 04 2021
I took 2 aspirin pills yesterday and I ran away from my kids
Because I read the label and it said to keep away form children
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Re-watching Hot Shots 2, just noticed this jem
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︎ Apr 05 2021
A hitman named Arti was so broke he took a job for $5 and strangled 2 people at the grocery store
The next day the newspaper read "Arti chokes two for $5 at the supermarket"
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Did you hear about the 2 owls?
They're in cahoots with each other.
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︎ Apr 18 2021
I have 2 fish named βoneβ and the other βtwoβ
That way when βoneβ dies i will still have βtwoβ
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︎ Apr 22 2021
I made a pencil with 2 erasers today
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Do you know why there are always 2 people in an ambulance?
Because they are a paramedics.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Whst is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 2/4 goat ?
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︎ Feb 12 2021
I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Who can drink 2 litres of Gasoline?
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Itβs a rare occurrence when a pun gives you a religious experience. The Argyle Sweater for 4/2/2021
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︎ Apr 03 2021
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in 2 places
He told me to stop going to those places.
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︎ May 02 2021
What has 2 butts and kills people?
An assassin
Thank you! Iβll be here all night
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︎ Feb 24 2021
My wife and I had a 2 hour argument last night because I "have no sense of direction"
So I packed all my stuff and right.
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︎ Mar 17 2021
The price for a slice of pie in Costa Rica is $2.50 and $3.00 in the Bahamas. Do you know what those are?
The pie rates of the Caribbean.
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︎ Mar 24 2021
2 cannibals start eating a fella
One starts at the head, one starts at the feet
one goes to the other - "how's it going?"
the other goes - "I'm having a ball"
first cannibal goes - "slow down, you're eating too fast"
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Igloo 2: Electric Boogaloo
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︎ Mar 29 2021
The spread of Covid 19 is based on 2 factors....
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How dense the population is.
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How dense the population is.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
I've had M.C. Hammer music in my head so much today that's it's giving me a headache. I took 2 Tylenol, but....
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︎ Apr 24 2021
2 pancakes are talking
one asks another did the 4 year old treat you right? No,he flipped me off
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︎ Apr 07 2021
Dude 1: Hey bro Dude 2: Yeah bro? Dude 1: Can you hand me that pamphlet?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
A 2-seater plane crashed into a graveyard in Ireland...
So far they've recovered 46 bodies
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2.
I payed my $2 and the guy says βOnce upon a time there was this lobster.β
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︎ Feb 12 2021
The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.
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︎ Mar 21 2021
Algebra 2 puns
My social life is like 0 + 4i. Complex and imaginary.
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︎ Dec 09 2019
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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︎ Feb 02 2021
Why do chicken coops always have 2 doors?
Because if they had 4 they would be a chicken sedan!
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︎ Mar 01 2021
What has 2 butts and kills people ?
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︎ Mar 12 2021
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas...
These are the Pie rates of the Caribbean
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︎ Mar 22 2021
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