Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
What do you call a Jedi with four eyes?
I tried to explain to my four-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop in your pants, but he’s not buying it. In fact...
He’s still making fun of me...
What do you get when you mix a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
Fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels
Which rock group has four members and doesn't sing?
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
Was playing a game of yahtzee, rolled four 2s
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
Why did the clock go back four seconds?
I saw a picture of a dog that had four prosthetic legs.
I painted a four leaf clover on my wife's foam stones ...
Because they are SHAM-rocks!
The Texas state Aquarium taught a crow to play connect four, too bad they didn't teach it Clue...
I bet it would murder the game.
In Ancient Rome, there were four types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly.
Poison IV would just make you kinda itchy
Three guys are on a boat with four cigarettes but no matches or lighter. What do they do?
They throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
What has four letters?
That’s all. I was just letting you know.
Every summer I get bit by one thousand and twenty four bugs.
My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.
"Length times width times height. Pi times r-squared times h. Four-thirds times pi times r-cubed."
This really speaks volumes.
What four elements are you not allowed to bring to your job?
Nitrogen, sulfur, Fluorine, and tungsten, cause they are NSFW.
What has four eyes and a peepee?
>!Mississippi.!<
This joke doesn't work as well in writing.
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
What do you call a fish with four eyes?
The twelve days of Jokemas, day four
Want to hear a chimney joke?
I got stacks of them, first one's on the house
What do you call four bullfighters standing in quicksand?
My four year old has been learning Spanish for a year, and he still can’t say ‘please’
I think that’s poor for four
One bucket, two bucketth, three bucketth, four bucketth...
Sorry, it’s my bucket lisp
An man at a bar didn’t want his wife to know he was out all night. But he was so drunk he couldn’t even stand and had to crawl all the way back home on all fours.
He got home he reached up for the door knob and opened the door, crawled upstairs and into his bed with his wife. His wife in the morning said “Why were you out all night?” He said “How did you find out?”
She said “The bar called. They said you left your wheelchair again”.
My four year old son threw his ball that landed on my laptop keyboard while I was typing
And said “I guess the ball is working today!”. His first real joke. I’m so proud!
Called my local restaurant for reservation. Hey are you guys open for reservations? They replied four to nine today
Looks like they are too busy today
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.
He was sailing on the seven C’s
Who was the only celebrity with four body parts in his name?
Four Seasons Total Lawn Care created some good ones after the bizarre press conference Saturday such as "Lawn and Order" and "Make America Rake Again" - I don't see them using this one on their promotional materials though:
My four year old: Daddy, what is Alexa scared of?
Me: She's just a robot, I don't think she ever feels fear.
My son: She's scared of getting Alexa-cuted.
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
The fifth one was dead sirius.
What’s big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?
TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys
When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
Never iron your four leaf clover.
You don't want to press your luck.
What Rock Group has four men that don't sing?
What do you get when you cross poison ivy and a four leaf clover?
What rock group has only four members and none of them sing?
In ancient Rome there were four different types of poison...
Poisons I, II, and III were deadly...
Poison IV just made you itchy.
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
What rock group has four men that don't sing?
My four year old has been learning Spanish and still can’t say the word please.
Which I think is poor for four.
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