Twelve Puns

A list of puns related to "Twelve"

Why can't your nose be twelve inches long?

Cuz then it would be a foot.

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👤︎ u/doorgunner43
📅︎ Feb 03 2021
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Did you hear about the woman with twelve breasts?

Sounds weird, dozen tit?

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/ShayD7118
📅︎ Dec 28 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day eleven

What do you call Santa on a horse?

A Jolly Rancher

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day four

Want to hear a chimney joke?

I got stacks of them, first one's on the house

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 16 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day five

Why was the cookie sad?

His mother was a wafer so long

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 17 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day eight

What do you call a Santa Claus who's been fried?

Krispy Kringle

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 20 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day ten

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?

Frosted Flakes

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 22 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day seven

What is Tom Hanks' favorite drink?

The Polar Expresso

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why say "twelve dollars", when you could say

Ten Buck Two instead.

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👤︎ u/saintpetejackboy
📅︎ Dec 21 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day one

How much does a cracker weigh?

One graham

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 13 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day two

What do you call a monster truck during Christmas dinner?

Gravy Digger

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day twelve

What is Santa's favorite part of celebrating Christmas every year?

It's in the present

Merry Christmas everyone!

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 24 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day nine

What is a planet's favorite day of the week?

Saturnday

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 21 2020
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The twelve days of Jokemas, day three

What do you call Rudolph with an umbrella?

A Raindeer

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👤︎ u/Hud_is_on
📅︎ Dec 15 2020
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I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

Me- “You gave me one too many”

Shopkeeper- “that one is a freebie”

👍︎ 915
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👤︎ u/shadynasty94
📅︎ Jun 13 2020
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How did nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen die?

Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve and thirteen.

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👤︎ u/dexlutha23
📅︎ Aug 20 2019
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My boss said I could finish work at half twelve today.

So I left at 6 and I've just been fired, there's no winning with that guy.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Feb 03 2020
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I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over. reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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👤︎ u/blazinfastjohny
📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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Do you know what the difference is between twelve-year-old scotch and baby formula?

No? Then you sure as hell aren't babysitting my kid!

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/EngineersAnon
📅︎ Oct 15 2019
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My dad said he'd disown me if I didn't know a twelve letter synonym for "obstructive".

That's unreasonable.

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👤︎ u/TommehBoi
📅︎ Jul 31 2019
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I have four arms three legs and twelve finger who am I

A liar

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/pandaboii5565
📅︎ Dec 21 2018
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I just burned a thousand calories in twelve minutes!

I forgot I had a pizza in the oven

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👤︎ u/zortor
📅︎ Jun 03 2018
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What did Mario say after he watched Luigi eat twelve dozen raw koopa eggs?

"That's a gross!"

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/want_a_muffin
📅︎ Feb 18 2017
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My dad was walking down the street, and saw a man carrying a twelve-foot pole on his shoulder.

He asked the man "Excuse me, but are you a pole vaulter?"

The man replied "Actually I am Ukrainian, but how did you know my name vas Valter?"

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👤︎ u/StacheKetchum
📅︎ Aug 07 2014
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I went to a pet shop and asked for twelve bees.

The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

Me: "You've given me one too many"

Shopkeeper: "That one is a freebie."

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👤︎ u/ALizardKing
📅︎ Aug 01 2020
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I went into a pet shop and told the owner that i want twelve bees

He handed me thirteen and said "last one is a freebie"

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/Zapyre
📅︎ Aug 08 2019
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I just saw a woman with twelve breasts. Hehehe, sounds funny,

Dozen tit?

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👤︎ u/doktorstrange7
📅︎ Sep 06 2019
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Imagine someone with twelve breasts

Sounds weird, dozen tit?

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/taosahpiah
📅︎ Jan 13 2020
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I once met a girl with twelve nipples.

Sounds funny. Dozen tit.

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👤︎ u/Petey1210
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
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I once met a girl with twelve nipples,

Sounds funny, dozen tit?

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👤︎ u/I_Snype_4_Fun
📅︎ Mar 05 2019
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Did you know that a nose cannot be twelve inches long? Otherwise it would be a foot.
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👤︎ u/CarsAndMountainBikes
📅︎ Apr 27 2018
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Why can't you have a nose that is twelve inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

👍︎ 225
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👤︎ u/Big_Booty_Liches
📅︎ Feb 14 2016
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Why can't your nose be twelve inches long?

Because then it'd be a foot!

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👤︎ u/ConanHuynh
📅︎ Sep 23 2017
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Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

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👤︎ u/physicsking
📅︎ Aug 09 2017
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