20 Hilarious Thirty Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

One of my coworkers said today is her thirty second birthday.

I asked her how she could possibly get anything done in such a short amount of time.

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👤︎ u/mlucasr

📅︎ Jan 13 2021

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It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub, but a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

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👤︎ u/sisrael81

📅︎ Oct 13 2020

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Two Thirty, heard this pun a thousand times growing up in a house of dentists.

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👤︎ u/ewriella

📅︎ Sep 08 2020

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I've been Internet hacking for almost thirty years, and now I want to give it up.

Can someone point me to an Anonymous Anonymous group?

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👤︎ u/Naitraen

📅︎ Jul 14 2020

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Yesterday I celebrated my thirty second birthday.

It just seems a little unfair that I only get half of a minute when everyone else gets the whole day.

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👤︎ u/killerbuttonfly

📅︎ Jul 07 2020

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If you're in your mid to late thirties, chances are you were born in the...

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👤︎ u/LordJimsicle

📅︎ Oct 29 2019

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Thanks to our mutual dislike of newspaper puzzles, my wife and I have enjoyed a long and happy marriage. Thirty years and...

...never a crossword...

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Jul 08 2020

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I invited all my friends over for my thirty second birthday

After half a minute they all went home.

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👤︎ u/leyline

📅︎ Jan 24 2020

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Pun Thirty

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👤︎ u/awells1012

📅︎ Mar 09 2019

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Did you hear the one about the girl who didn’t grow a butt until her thirties?

The called her Slowly-Butt Shirley

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👤︎ u/HeroOfAnetheron

📅︎ Sep 26 2018

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If you're in your mid to late thirties in 2019, chances are you were born in the

T T T T T T T T

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👤︎ u/LordJimsicle

📅︎ Oct 29 2019

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Got talking to a very cool old man. After finding out he was from England, a World War Two vet and has spent the last thirty two years in the states I had to ask..

Me: so what brought you to the states?

Him: An airplane.

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👤︎ u/Skip_Ransom

📅︎ Jul 25 2014

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Can you be here at Poo-Thirty?

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👤︎ u/darkandtwistysissy

📅︎ Jan 17 2019

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What do you get when you divide thirty-two by two?

Another day older and a-deeper in debt.

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👤︎ u/CleverlyHiddenJavert

📅︎ Sep 01 2019

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I told my teacher that my bathroom break was only gonna be ten minutes. I got back thirty minutes later.

Turns out I was full of shit.

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👤︎ u/AmazingDayAmazingDay

📅︎ Jul 19 2018

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Me: If you take the 407 toll road it'll cost you to thirty bucks. Grandma: thirty bucks?! That's highway robbery!

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👤︎ u/paddlescab

📅︎ Jun 29 2017

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Dad can I borrow thirty dollars?

Dad: "Twenty dollars?... What do you need ten dollars for?"

(Credit to the dad from "The perks of being a wallflower" movie, at least that's where I just heard it)

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👤︎ u/Wulle83

📅︎ Apr 25 2015

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You know, I've been on this planet for thirty-seven years, amd I've only got two small vices

http://i.imgur.com/LiRlSov.jpg

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👤︎ u/8979323

📅︎ May 11 2017

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I've been an actual father for thirty years and at least one of the three at least once or twice a season still asks me what it's like out.

Is it nice out? It's so nice out I almost left it out. Is it cold out? I don't know. The temperature is so low I couldn't take it out. Is it hot out? I don't know. Ask your mom.

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👤︎ u/hypoppa

📅︎ Sep 07 2015

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Dad, can I have thirty dollars?

Twenty dollars? What do you need ten dollars for?

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👤︎ u/godslam

📅︎ Jan 01 2014

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