The governor banned gatherings of more than eighteen crows.

They’re supposed to isolate themselves from corvid nineteen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sgri0b
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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What do you call a princess who just turned eighteen?

Barely regal

drumroll

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wlievens
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2015
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A man rushed to dial 911 one evening when his wife displayed early signs of a stroke.

"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."

"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.

"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muchacho1994
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Let me summarize 2018 in four words for you:

Two thousand and eighteen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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A dad joke for the holidays.

I was munching down on chocolate from my advent calendar, having forgotten to eat the previous couple day's pieces. My mom notices and says:

"Is this your way of saying youre too old for advent calendars?" (I'm eighteen)

"No, Im just bad with dates."

My dad speaks up:

"Is that why youre single?" Then laughs together with my mom.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beauly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
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So my friend's dad got us with this the other day

We were heading back to his house from the beltway and he asked if we wanted to go by McDonalds. Two eighteen year old, poor, hungry college students, so we said sure. He drives right past it and says "we just did"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonSnuhhh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2014
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