What do you call it when someone bellow the age of 18 has a problem
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︎ Dec 29 2020
18+
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︎ Jan 22 2021
If you get hurt before you are 18, itβs just a minor injury.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Whats the difference between girls/women aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78
At 8. You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18. You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28. You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38. She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48. She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58. You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68. If you take her to bed, that will be a story.
At 78. What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you ???
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︎ Dec 19 2020
The day my daughter turns 18, Iβm going to buy her a locket, put her picture in it, and when she opens it tell her:
βWell, I guess now you really areβ¦ independent"
π︎ 58
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︎ Oct 29 2020
How do you make someone do something 18 times in a row?
>!y!< >!o!< >!u!< >!m!< >!a!< >!k!< >!e!< >!t!< >!h!< >!e!< >!m!< >!c!< >!u!< >!r!< >!i!< >!o!< >!u!< >!s!<
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︎ Oct 19 2020
What do you call a group of people under 18 years old going somewhere?
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︎ Oct 21 2020
What did one crow say to the other 18?
We are corvid-19 (if I get a million down votes, I understand)
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I got my wife an 18 carrot necklace.
It was not only easy on the eyes, but it was also good for the eyes, too.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
[Warning]: 18+
π︎ 14k
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︎ Oct 01 2019
I shot 3 under on 18 holes today but I'm still pretty disappointed.
My performance was really subpar.
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︎ Sep 19 2020
Dont worry guys, this one isnt 18+
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︎ Aug 25 2020
What did the dad say after getting run over by an 18 wheeler?
Iβve never been more tired in my life!
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︎ Aug 16 2020
Why do I care that my sonβs phone was at 18%?
Cause it was the minimum age of percent.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 31 2020
I just turned 18 so now I shouldnβt need my glasses anymore
Iβm still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jun 25 2019
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
π︎ 2k
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Do you know what I called the painting when I moved out at 18 years old?
The Decoration of Independence.
-My partner's joke.
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︎ Jul 16 2020
I was watching a series of increasingly funny cow videos, and even though CowVid#18 was hilarious...
...I just couldn't bring myself to watch the next one. I just had this vague sense that something bad was going to happen.
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︎ Jun 07 2020
The going rate is now 18% you Jerks!
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︎ Jan 28 2020
My dad died on 02/19/18, this joke came to me while signing paperwork at the funeral home...
What do they call the best salesman at a funeral home?
The Top Urner
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︎ Mar 01 2018
My 35 year old wife laughed when I said that I have the body of an 18 year old
Until she opened the freezer
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︎ Mar 17 2020
A farmer asked me if I can help him round up 18 sheep
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︎ Aug 31 2019
My dad gave me a locket with my photo in it when I turned 18.
I guess he wanted me to be in the pendant.
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︎ Feb 23 2020
What do you call your kidneys once you turn 18?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 17 2020
Warning! 18+
Today is election day in Canada, go out and vote!
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 21 2019
How to retire at the age of 18
Get a job at the tire shop.
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︎ Dec 18 2019
Did you guys see the preview for the movie about the worlds biggest 18-wheeler?
It was one really long trailer.
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︎ May 12 2019
Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my own picture in it. Guess I really am
Independent
(from /u/gowthamcity)
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︎ Apr 06 2019
I just turned 18 so I'm glad I'm an adult now....
I just wish my kidneys became adultneys
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︎ Oct 10 2019
Giraffes can grow up to 18 feet
π︎ 15
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︎ Mar 17 2019
I just bought my first 18 year old whisky
You could say she's barrel-y legal
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 24 2019
An 18-wheeler filled with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway today.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours!
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︎ Apr 01 2019
My 18-year old said for his high school English essay he chose the subject of puns but was clueless where to start...
I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."
He walked away with a spring in his step.
π︎ 4
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︎ May 23 2019
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comβ¦
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 13 2018
Some 18+ content
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 27 2020
[Warning]: 18++
π︎ 406
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︎ Jul 12 2019
My daughter turned 18 today, so I bought her a locket and put her picture in it. As I gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, I said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
π︎ 9k
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︎ Mar 13 2018
My son turned 18 today so I bought him a locket and put his picture in it...
I guess you could say I wanted him to be independent!
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︎ Aug 06 2019
When a man's daughter turned 18 today, so he bought her a locket and put her picture in it.
As he gently placed it around her neck, chocking back the tears, he said, "Well, sweetheart, I guess you really are..."
...independent!"
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︎ Nov 19 2019
[Warning: 18+]
π︎ 709
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︎ Oct 21 2018
Turned 18 today, so I bought a locket and put my picture in it. Guess I really am
π︎ 701
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︎ Oct 03 2016
How did 8 kill 18?
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︎ Aug 08 2018
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