The odds of this happening are nine in a Malian
π︎ 28
π
︎ May 05 2021
I begin my new job tomorrow, proofreading for Merriam-Webster, the online dictionary. I asked them if I'd be starting at nine, and they told me to fuck off.
I'll be starting at aardvark, like everybody else.
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 10 2021
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 11 2021
How do you turn six into nine?
π︎ 525
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
After this week's bad weather in Texas, there'll probably be a baby boom in nine months.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
What's another name for B99 (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)?
Gentle gentle gentle gentle gentle gentle gentle gentle gentle
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
I hate working for what I want. Capitalism has ruined everything. Every time I dip my pen in the company ink, nine months later my wife hires a new employee.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
Traveling with my nine year old, and he observed that our gate in Hartford was A6, and our gate in Baltimore is B6. I respond that it's raining so hard we'll take a boat home...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
Whatβs three, nine in Japanese?
Them: San kyu.
Me: Youβre welcome.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
Called my local restaurant for reservation. Hey are you guys open for reservations? They replied four to nine today
Looks like they are too busy today
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
The twelve days of Jokemas, day nine
What is a planet's favorite day of the week?
Saturnday
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
If you take a dozen cows and get rid of two you'll have nine
There would be 10 but they lacked 8
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Why is ten afraid of nine?
Because nine eight seven!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
Sent my dad a picture of animals gathered on a hill. βWild turkeys?β βNine deer, dad!β....
βI didnβt know you spoke German!β he replied
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
If doing something two times is called Twice, what do we call doing something nine times?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
What has four letters, sometimes has nine, and never has five
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Nov 04 2018
We know why 6 is afraid of seven, but why did seven eat nine?
Because you need three squared meals a day
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
Looking at a Terminix truck, the IX at the end are the roman numerals for the number nine...
Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. βWeβll do you one better than terminate, weβll termiNINEβ.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 24 2020
I got kicked out of karaoke after singing βDanger Zoneβ nine times in a row.
Too many Loggins attempts.
π︎ 456
π
︎ Dec 21 2019
What reality show is popular on the holodeck of Deep Space Nine?
Keeping up with the Cardassians!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
the NINE LYNCH NAILS
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
How did nine, ten, eleven, twelve, and thirteen die?
Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve and thirteen.
π︎ 161
π
︎ Aug 20 2019
There used to be a game in Germany called nine.
It didnβt last long because no one ever agreed to play it.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Nine ants were kicked out of the apartment complex
Because they were not tenants.
π︎ 229
π
︎ Nov 05 2019
Little known fact: Beethoven wrote nine symphonies.
And not one of them wrote back.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jan 20 2020
Nine sodium molecules walk into a bar. Who comes next?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 05 2019
Donβt do it nine year olds.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Sep 06 2019
A Nine year old girl has gone missing after using moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger
π︎ 65
π
︎ May 03 2019
Why was 6 afraid of 7, because 789. Why did 7 eat nine? Because at the restaurant 7 was at, 9 came in that order.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
Why did seven assault nine?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 23 2019
My Father was never proud of me. πΆ One day he asked me. How old are you ??. . I said. I am nine. .
He said. When i was your age. i was ten π
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
Cats may have nine lives
But frogs croak every night.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 04 2019
My nine year old sonβs Harry Potter humor
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
What has nine arms and rocks?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 08 2019
Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
If I tie my golf partner on the back nine...
...what is the best kind of rope to use?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
My nine year old's cat just gave birth to a huge litter! I asked her which she likes best...
She replied, "I love the whole kitten caboodle!"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 28 2019
What has four letters, sometimes has nine, but never has five
π︎ 235
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
What is between nine and ten?
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
What has four, sometimes have nine and never has five.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 09 2019
Beethoven wrote nine symphonies. And not one of them wrote back.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
A nine year old girl has disappeared after using a moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger!
π︎ 64
π
︎ Nov 13 2018
What has four letters, sometimes has nine letters, but never has five letters.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
Why can nine ants rent an apartment for free?
Because there not tenants.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
Wanna know why I bought nine rackets?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 18 2019
Six was afraid of seven because seven eight (ate) nine. But why did seven eat nine?
Because youβre supposed to eat three squared meals a day.
π︎ 126
π
︎ Oct 09 2017
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