This is the new 7 8 9 pun.
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︎ Dec 07 2019
John Oliver's "Air Bud 9" pun made me laugh really hard this week
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︎ Oct 03 2017
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
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︎ Apr 28 2021
I just got stabbed by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9
The odds were against me!
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︎ May 19 2021
Everyone knows 7 8 9 but why did 7 ate 9?
Because you are supposed to have 3ยฒ meals a day.
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︎ May 25 2021
6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
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︎ Apr 05 2021
My 9 year old told me this: What happens if you party to hard on May the Fourth?
>! Revenge of the Fifth!<
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︎ May 08 2021
(9 year old daughter tells me) What does a Dalmatian say after it eats dinner?
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9
But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO
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︎ May 02 2021
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
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︎ Aug 19 2020
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please donโt resort to violins and anger if you donโt notice.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
We all know that 6 was scared of 7 because 7 8 9
But 7 was scared of 2, 4 6 8 10
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︎ Apr 09 2021
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9
The odds were against me.
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︎ Mar 06 2021
My 9 year old wanted me to post her joke here!
What does it mean when you find horseshoes?
It means a horse is walking round in its socks!
I am so proud of her!
Edit: wording.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
I hate how funerals are always at 9 am.
I'm not really a mourning person.
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︎ Mar 08 2021
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
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︎ Nov 10 2020
I quit, my 9 to 5
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︎ Mar 04 2021
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
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︎ Nov 21 2020
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
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︎ Jan 28 2021
What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
9 times out of 10 a carnivore will choose a small space rock over human flesh...
Because the rock is a little meteor.
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︎ Feb 28 2021
My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??
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︎ Dec 22 2020
We all know that 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
His doctor told him to get three square meals a day.
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︎ Nov 09 2020
9 months really isn't that long...
It just feels like a maternity.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
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︎ Oct 19 2020
A bit later than usual, but here's Dadvent day 9!
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Have you heard of the 9 year old kid that went missing?
Apparently he was last seen applying a cream that made him 10 years younger
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︎ Jan 26 2021
My 9-month-old ate part of her sister's math homework.
Now we're waiting to see if she passes algebra.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
99.9% of people are dumb
Fortunately I belong to 1% of smart people
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︎ Dec 13 2020
10...9...My Dad was counting down. I asked why. 7...6... โBecause itโll be 12:57, he said.โ 5...4... โWhatโs so special about 12:57?โ I asked.
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:
"Here's your Nickleback."
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︎ Dec 17 2020
I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.
The odds were against me.
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I was working my 9-5 at the paint supply warehouse, I just asked my boss for a raise
He handed me a ladder and asked if that was good enough
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︎ Dec 27 2020
There's a man killing people who only have 9 toes!
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
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︎ Oct 07 2020
A pig without 3.14 is 9.8
So fellow dads, 3.14 is the value of pi and 9.8 is the value of gravity (G)
Hmm
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︎ Sep 15 2020
My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.
So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"
๐︎ 7
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︎ Oct 17 2020
My 9 year old returns with another joke for you all!
What is the stupidest thing in the universe?
A black hole, because it's so dense!
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day.
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︎ Mar 16 2021
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
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︎ Dec 05 2020
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
๐︎ 7k
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︎ Apr 12 2020
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
๐︎ 13k
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︎ Feb 13 2020
There will be a baby boom in 9 months and
In 2033, we will witness the rise of "Quaranteens"
๐︎ 3k
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︎ Mar 15 2020
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because the doctor told him to eat 3 square meals a day.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Why is there no Windows 9?
๐︎ 9
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︎ Oct 07 2020
My girlfriend broke up with me after she discovered I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
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︎ Oct 20 2020
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. But why did 7 eat 9?
It heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day.
๐︎ 5k
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︎ Oct 07 2019
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