This is the new 7 8 9 pun.
John Oliver's "Air Bud 9" pun made me laugh really hard this week
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
I just got stabbed by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9
The odds were against me!
Everyone knows 7 8 9 but why did 7 ate 9?
Because you are supposed to have 3² meals a day.
6 was afraid of 7 because 7-8-9, but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day
My 9 year old told me this: What happens if you party to hard on May the Fourth?
>! Revenge of the Fifth!<
(9 year old daughter tells me) What does a Dalmatian say after it eats dinner?
I used to wonder why microsoft skipped windows 9
But I shouldn't be surprised.
After all, years back, Microsoft published ms-DOS without ever releasing an ms-UNO
Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.
We all know that 6 was scared of 7 because 7 8 9
But 7 was scared of 2, 4 6 8 10
I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9
The odds were against me.
My 9 year old wanted me to post her joke here!
What does it mean when you find horseshoes?
It means a horse is walking round in its socks!
I am so proud of her!
Edit: wording.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 am.
I'm not really a mourning person.
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
I've just made a list of the top 10 dad jokes I know. The first 9 are alright but the last one is absoutely briliant.
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- alright
- absoutely briliant
What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)
9 times out of 10 a carnivore will choose a small space rock over human flesh...
Because the rock is a little meteor.
My 9 year old told me this....What do you get when you cross a pig and an oven ??
We all know that 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9?
His doctor told him to get three square meals a day.
9 months really isn't that long...
It just feels like a maternity.
My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
A bit later than usual, but here's Dadvent day 9!
Have you heard of the 9 year old kid that went missing?
Apparently he was last seen applying a cream that made him 10 years younger
My 9-month-old ate part of her sister's math homework.
Now we're waiting to see if she passes algebra.
99.9% of people are dumb
Fortunately I belong to 1% of smart people
10...9...My Dad was counting down. I asked why. 7...6... “Because it’ll be 12:57, he said.” 5...4... “What’s so special about 12:57?” I asked.
I was at a local store buying a shitty old CD for $9.95. When I handed the cashier my $10, he handed me my change and said:
"Here's your Nickleback."
I once got into a bar fight with the number 1. His friends 3, 5, 7, and 9 showed up to help him.
The odds were against me.
I was working my 9-5 at the paint supply warehouse, I just asked my boss for a raise
He handed me a ladder and asked if that was good enough
There's a man killing people who only have 9 toes!
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
A pig without 3.14 is 9.8
So fellow dads, 3.14 is the value of pi and 9.8 is the value of gravity (G)
Hmm
My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.
So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"
My 9 year old returns with another joke for you all!
What is the stupidest thing in the universe?
A black hole, because it's so dense!
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day.
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
6 was scared of 7 because 7,8,9 but why did 7 eat 9?
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
There will be a baby boom in 9 months and
In 2033, we will witness the rise of "Quaranteens"
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because the doctor told him to eat 3 square meals a day.
Why is there no Windows 9?
My girlfriend broke up with me after she discovered I only have 9 toes
She was lack toes intolerant
6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. But why did 7 eat 9?
It heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day.
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