I once got into an argument with a decimal.

π︎ 21
π¬︎
π€︎ u/Jester57
π︎ May 14
π¨︎ report
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

π︎ 30
π¬︎
π€︎ u/trwyncudd
π︎ May 13
π¨︎ report
Thousand and thousands of years ago, during the last ice age, there lived an animal that excelled at trigonometry, geometry, and could recite Pi to 100 decimal places. It was known simply as.....

.....the mammothematician.

π︎ 2
π¬︎
π€︎ u/KCL80
π︎ Apr 25
π¨︎ report
I was going to tell a joke about a decimal...

But there is no point.

π︎ 24
π¬︎
π€︎ u/05_berryCW
π︎ Nov 25 2020
π¨︎ report
Natural numbers fail to understand the importance of decimal numbers.

They always miss the point.

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π€︎ u/keychainoi
π︎ Sep 04 2020
π¨︎ report
Kid started virtual decimal lessons today.

It was in tenths.

π︎ 5
π¬︎
π€︎ u/BoyznGirlznBabes
π︎ Sep 14 2020
π¨︎ report
When I started learning math, I thought fractions were easier than decimals.

I think I was missing the point.

π︎ 14
π¬︎
π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Sep 08 2019
π¨︎ report
Most people think decimals don't matter..

I think they're significant figures.

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π€︎ u/rpmrecords
π︎ Jul 09 2019
π¨︎ report
My friend thinks itβs easier to deal with fractions than with decimals.

I said, βYouβre missing the point.β

π︎ 22
π¬︎
π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Mar 20 2019
π¨︎ report
Why can't I find any decimals around here?

I just don't see the point.

π︎ 234
π¬︎
π€︎ u/chopperfive
π︎ Dec 20 2016
π¨︎ report
A period and a decimal use the same symbol

Let me know if I should stop this joke or break it down further

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
π︎ Jul 09 2019
π¨︎ report
I used to be a decimal...

But now I'm only a fraction of my former self.

π︎ 11
π¬︎
π€︎ u/StumptheTrump1
π︎ Nov 29 2016
π¨︎ report
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

π︎ 5
π¬︎
π︎ Mar 17
π¨︎ report
Days are numbered
π︎ 7k
π¬︎
π€︎ u/BlackBleedingGray
π︎ Jun 21 2020
π¨︎ report
How do damp libraries classify their books?

Using the Mildewy Decimal System

π︎ 3
π¬︎
π€︎ u/underscorecarl
π︎ Feb 28
π¨︎ report
Did you hear about the Roman general who accidentally decimated his army?

It was one in ten dead.

π︎ 7
π¬︎
π€︎ u/sennome
π︎ Sep 24 2019
π¨︎ report
Making church offerings is dangerous for your wallet

Paying tithing just decimates your income

π︎ 8
π¬︎
π€︎ u/chaosTechnician
π︎ Feb 24
π¨︎ report
Did you hear about the decimation of the puns?

π︎ 10
π¬︎
π€︎ u/redmouse9
π︎ Jul 23 2017
π¨︎ report
I can list every single number that's in Pi.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 0.

π︎ 112
π¬︎
π€︎ u/OvertCinnamon
π︎ Apr 17 2020
π¨︎ report
How do you find the right book in a library that was caught in a flood?

Using the mildewey decimal system!

π︎ 7
π¬︎
π€︎ u/BootsyBootsyBoom
π︎ Nov 08 2020
π¨︎ report
For math lovers and others to
1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? HeΒ must be plotting something.

7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasnβt greater than or less than anyone else.

8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

9. What do you call a number that canβt stay in one place? A Roaminβ numeral.

10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

12. Iβll do algebra, Iβll do trig. Iβll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because sheβll go on and on and on forever.

14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? Itβs a shame theyβll never meet.

15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

16. Whatβs the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? Theyβd stop at nothing to avoid them.

18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where itβs always 90 degrees.

19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because youβre supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π€︎ u/InvestWithArihant
π︎ Aug 20 2020
π¨︎ report
What do you call a snake thats 355/113 meters long?

A Ο-thon

not sure if original or not. I changed the joke to make the fraction instead of a decimal

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π€︎ u/theenderkitty1
π︎ Oct 01 2020
π¨︎ report
My friend doesnβt think puns are funny, so I told him my top ten to see if any could make him laugh.

No pun in ten did.

π︎ 252
π¬︎
π€︎ u/VeryLastBison
π︎ Sep 19 2019
π¨︎ report
π︎ 5k
π¬︎
π︎ Sep 17 2013
π¨︎ report
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25

For non-programmers: (octal 31 = decimal 25)

π︎ 44
π¬︎
π€︎ u/MacItaly
π︎ Dec 24 2019
π¨︎ report
An 8th grade student got me with this today. I'm so proud.

Student: "Why is it so bad to have a pie thrown in your face in math class?"

Me: "Why?"

Student: "Because it never ends."

π︎ 2k
π¬︎
π€︎ u/we_need_ice
π︎ Dec 03 2015
π¨︎ report
How does the Library of Fungus classify its collection?

The Mildewey Decimal System.

π︎ 4
π¬︎
π€︎ u/gddrtkkv
π︎ Sep 20 2019
π¨︎ report
A short collection of fresh puns.

Most of this is my own work, if not, it was inspired by something clever!
I hope this will tickle your funnybone and produce a jolly good set of laughs.

A guy didn't register that the wet paint signs about the handrail was still drying, his hand immediately stuck to the rail. My only response to him was, well you see there, it's an application problem, not hardware.

A researcher's obsession with mixing sand, stones, lime and water has started to yield concrete results.

Eyeglass makers who profit well can frame their success.

Joe: I gave the backyard squirrels Christmas presents!
Abby: Are you nuts?
Joe: No, that's what I gave them...

What did the supervisor at the tortilla factory say at the end of a long workday?
That's a wrap!

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. (Insp)

People who don't answer the phone sometimes miss their calling in life.

His words were heavy, but his friends didn't get the gravity of the situation.

Time flies like crazy!
Fruit flies like apples!

Never let logic and reasoning get in the way of telling a good story. (Sounds like something that would be said on TopGear/Grand Tour)

There are a few words that will open many doors for you in life - Push and Pull (Insp)

Somehow people really don't like it when I throw lamps at them to encourage them to lighten up.
Same goes for tossing handles for when they need to get a grip or soap for cleaning up their act.

When you're on the ballot for the water council and they have a runoff election.

Ghosts speak latin, it's a dead language (Insp)

If you work at a grocery, send the interns down to the meat market to get some red herrings.

There was a river in Egypt that no one believed existed, it was known locally as De-Nile.

Bad luck Brian - Invests in uranium, profits decay.

There was an explosion at the film manufacturing company, reporters say the story is still developing.

Why do bagpipers walk around?
To get away from the noise (Insp)

Most people have a six-figure income, just the decimal point is in the wrong place.

It has recently been discovered that scientific research causes cancer in rats.

In Russia, the term road has had a controversial meaning for a very long time.

In Canada/Russia, you put things in the fridge to warm them up.

Did you know that the creator of Barbie was named Barbara Dahl?

Doc: There's something not q

... keep reading on reddit β‘

π︎ 10
π¬︎
π︎ Jun 09 2017
π¨︎ report
I have a system for organizing the beverages in my refrigerator.

I use the Mountain Dewey decimal system.

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π︎ Jan 31 2018
π¨︎ report

I am studying Visual Basic and I just had this exchange with my father:

Me: What is the difference between a decimal and a double? Dad: One is a colon.

π︎ 4
π¬︎
π€︎ u/fluffyxsama
π︎ Nov 17 2014
π¨︎ report
What did the mathematician love about the English language?

You can only put 1 decimal point persentence.

π︎ 5
π¬︎
π€︎ u/Alstroph
π︎ Jun 01 2014
π¨︎ report
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

π︎ 5k
π¬︎
π€︎ u/EmBeeCSGO
π︎ Jan 09
π¨︎ report
I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

π︎ 8k
π¬︎
π€︎ u/FinalCaveat
π︎ Oct 04 2019
π¨︎ report
Doing math homework, huh? I don't understand why you use fractions instead of decimals.

It's pointless.

π︎ 6
π¬︎
π︎ Nov 03 2019
π¨︎ report
If you never convert fractions to decimals,

You are missing the point.

π︎ 80
π¬︎
π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Mar 06 2018
π¨︎ report
If you are always converting decimals to fractions,

you are missing the point.

π︎ 18
π¬︎
π€︎ u/porichoygupto
π︎ Jan 27 2018
π¨︎ report
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

π︎ 12
π¬︎
π︎ Mar 17
π¨︎ report
(β__β)

I don't understand why some people use fractions instead of decimals

It's totally pointless!

π︎ 5
π¬︎
π€︎ u/hAWKEYe_25
π︎ Jan 07
π¨︎ report