My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.

He drinks straight from the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever hear the tale about the angle less than 90 degrees?

It's acute story...

πŸ‘︎ 207
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?

... when it is full groan!

(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
If you sin 90 times, you'll only get caught 50% of times,

Because sin 90 = cot 45.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/charan_88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.

If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akodo1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It occurred to me today that I would have loved to see two of my favorite bands from the 90s, led respectively by David Usher and Gavin Rossdale, on the same ticket. The sign on the theatre would have been epic.

Moist Bush.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/average_legend
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, β€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”

Larry replies, β€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”

β€œWow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.

β€œBonnie,” he says, β€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”

β€œOh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. β€œHe’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Success is 10% inspiration, 90% perspiration...

and 40% willingness to cheat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemiserofD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, and 90 walked into a bar

They were in tens.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.

Because sin90 = cot45

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
90 percent of my jokes don't land...

But one pun in ten did.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gasface
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I always liked those spice girls back in the 90s. What were their names again?

Oh yeah, Salt-N-Pepa

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
90% of my jokes end with an autoerect

Autocorrect*

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife returned a package of pantyhose that she bought online, but they only refunded 90% of the purchase price...

...they claimed the 10% was a re-stocking fee.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
90s themed party
πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Accordion to a recent study, 90% of people didn’t realize

I put an instrument at the start of this sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 157
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πŸ‘€︎ u/revaforce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Only 90s kids will remember
πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owenn04
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My son drew a polygon with three edges and three vertices with angles less than 90Β°...

It was acute triangle, I must admit!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
In an attempt to teach him shapes, I told my 2-year-old son to pick out the 3-sided shape with a 90 degree angle. He picked one...

It was the right triangle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a β€˜90s computer’s favorite kind of Japanese food?

CD-ROMen

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/multiplesofpie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Back in the 90s, i spent time on the set of Baywatch messing with a character named Mitch Buchannon. I got pulled off the set and arrested the same night.

Turns out it's illegal to Hasslehoff.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidBeaver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I just realised we’re into the same 90’s pop bands

We’re so β€˜NSYC.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlietd76
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me to introduce our kids to the 90s rock I grew up on.

I told her sure but some of it is Garbage.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobsaid
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Pac-Man use to listen to music in the 90s?

A WakkaWakkaMan.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RustedDust
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The 90s summed up.
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnywiggles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The 90s summed up !

90+91+92+93+94+95+96+97+98+99 =945 !!!!! Ba dum tss!!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arifckinggold
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
If 90Β° says anything in argument with the other angles, it's always correct.

Cuz it's the only right angle.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thats-MEan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
i was piloting a drone and had it going east. so i turned it 90Β°...

it all went south from there!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danielpatters22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
'Right Place, Wrong Tim' - starring Asa Butterfield, in a pun filled, horror comedy set in a 90s clock shop youtube.com/watch?v=f-jsf…
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mc_jakie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90.

Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_perfect_sonnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report
The 90s summed up in one picture
πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Plus_Memes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Radish means slightly Awesome in 90’s vernacular
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are cold, stand in a corner. They are usually 90Β°
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/david7494
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
90s Eurodance group Technotronic recently bought a factory that manufactures all types of fruit preserves

However, there was an issue with getting the preserves into the packaging phase as the manufacturing plant was downstairs and the bottling machinery was upstairs.

After carefully reviewing the process, the group settled on a solution.

They decided to Pump Up The Jam.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
In the 90s my father worked at the Snapple factory and got paid to count all the bottles.

He was a real teetotaler.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SinkSaunders
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m afraid to leave the coordinates 90.0000Β°N, 135.0000Β°W and 90.0000Β°S, 45.0000Β°E.

I was diagnosed with bye-polar disorder

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't argue with a 90-degree triangle.

It's always right.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rogersdad247
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I drew a 90Β° angle perfectly yesterday.

Looks like I finally did something right.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today... She wrote it on a sticky note
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I can prove to you why old '90s cellphones had more durable screens than today's smartphones

It's an open and shut case

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
🚨︎ report
What musical formula was used to describe global warming in the '90s?

An Al-Gore-Rhythm.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperbLuigi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2017
🚨︎ report
There are a bunch of blankets playing 90s music

They're a cover band

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buvet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a loving relationship with the 90s. You kid's today don't get it.

But if you could only see the way they loved me, maybe you would understand.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cellocat007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend said he was cold, so I said, "go stand in a corner, they're always 90 degrees."

His house is a circle... He's been walking around confused for three hours now, I am getting concerned.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NecroNinja31
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Mathematically, if you commit 90 sins, you only get caught half the time.

sin 90 = cot 45

πŸ‘︎ 233
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report

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