In surgery my doctor said, "So what do we have here?" I replied that I broke my arm in 12 places."
He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
I'm so proud. My 12-year old told this joke during dinner: What degree does Dr. Pepper have?
Your nose will never be 12 inches long
Because then it would be a foot.
There was once a king who was only 12 inches tall!
Terrible king, but made a great ruler.
Archaeologists found the remains of the 12 apostles...
They're now called 'The 12 a-FOSSILS'
I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees.He counted and gave me 13.
"Sir, you gave me an extra." That's a freebie.
I like to shit at 11:59pm and end at 12:05 am
Believing only 12.5% of the Bible
Makes you an eighth theist.
I once met a woman who had 12 breasts. Sounds weird..
I like to meet my girlfriend at 12:59
It's important to get that one-to-one time.
After 12 years together, I just found out my wife hates jokes about perforated paper.
She thinks they're tearable.
My son asked me, “Because of the pandemic, I’m on the computer 12 hours a day. Is that bad?”
Me: That can’t be comfortable. Try a chair instead.
Sherlock and Watson arrived on the scene of a murder and the only clue was a measuring tape pulled out to exactly 12 inches.
Apparently something was afoot.
What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9 letters, occasionally has 12 letters, always has 6 letters, and never has 5 letters.
But nothing tops a cheese pizza.
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
If a friend left you 12 bottles of wine on your doorstep, would you be extremely....
A man goes to a beekeeper and asks for 12 bees. He counts, and sees he has been given 13....
“Sir, you gave me an extra!” he says. The beekeeper replies “Oh, that’s a freebie”
Dad: I saw a woman with 12 breasts
Me: That sounds strange...
Dad: Dozen tit
YOU’RE WELCOME 💋
And just like that, 2020 won. Better start trainimg for the rematch in 12 months...it will be 2020 two.
A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
Did you hear about the guy who had 12 plastic horses up his butt?
Doctor's reported his condition as stable.
My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.
"What was the other reindeer's name?"
"Um, Dasher?"
No."
"Dancer?"
"No. Olive."
"Olive?"
"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."
I was very proud.
After 12 years, I finally played World of Warcraft again & all I have to say is
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.
I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
Took my family of 12 out for a coffee today.
10...9...My Dad was counting down. I asked why. 7...6... “Because it’ll be 12:57, he said.” 5...4... “What’s so special about 12:57?” I asked.
Just found myself with problems in the bathroom as the clock struck 12...
My Sherlock Holmes themed Monopoly board is exactly 12 inches
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it will be a foot :)
There was once a King who was 12 inches tall....
Terrible King, but a great ruler .
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why can your nose not be 12 inches?
Cause then it would be a foot
Why your hand cant be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot
I met a girl with 12 breasts
Sounds strange, Dozen tit?
Why was the king only 12 inches tall?
Why was the king only 12 inches tall?
.. because he was a ruler
I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...
Did you know your nose can't be longer than 12 inches ?
Otherwise it will be a foot.
Why was the king only 12 inches tall?
Me : I met a woman with 12 breasts !!
My wife : That sounds strange.
Me : Dozen tit
Why can't you have a 12 inch nose?
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot!
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long ??
Because then it would be a foot
"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot."
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot.
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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