It took me 11 puns to finally make my friend laugh...
... because no pun in ten did.
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too..
Edit: thank you for awards, I have never gotten one before. I apologize that this is a repost, I did see it on TikTok and thought that it was cute and wanted to share. In the future I will check the sub for similar content before I post anything.
My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
My 11 year old shared a cool joke. He says...
"I just bought a fridge magnet.... So far I have 14 fridges!"
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
I like to shit at 11:59pm and end at 12:05 am
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
From my 11 year old daughter. Did you hear the one about the man with the broken hearing aids?
I'm 5'11½, but tell everyone I'm 6'0"
On my first day of being an army recruit, we were all lined up and the instructor commanded that those 6 feet and over step forward. Even though I was shy of ½inch, I stepped forward, along with 15 others.
.
After I looked around me, I realized I was noticeably the tallest.
I have to tell someone about this because I'm at home alone with my 2 year old and 11 month old, and they're to young to understand my best dad joke ever.
My 2 year old has cereal in her snack cup and just showed me that there was a piece of cereal in her sleeve. I said, "Looks like you got some tricks up your sleeve." GUESS WHAT KIND OF CEREAL SHE WAS EATING!.....IT WAS TRIX!
Edit: Thanks for my first gold!
What beef only comes in 2, 3, 5, 7, or 11 ounce portions?
My 11 year old: Who is the leader of all tissues?
My 11 year old and I were coming out of a store and someone just parked right next to our car.
She said. Our cars aren’t social distancing! You don’t want them to get ...CARona virus do you?
Proud moment.
A conversation with my 11 year old this morning...
Son: Dad, there's a hole in your t-shirt.
Me: I know, it's my religious t-shirt.
Son: gives me a blank look
Me: It's holy!
Since my daughter was born I haven't slept for 11 months.
Because that would be entirely too long.
What Happens If You Are Sitting on the Toilet at 11:59 and the Clock Strikes Midnight?
Same shit, different day.
Did you know that Apollo 11 landed in the wrong place?
The shuttle was low on fuel, so Armstrong has to take manual control of it to find them a safer place to land, landing 4 miles away from where they intended to.
The scientists behind it were very Apollo-getic.
Why couldn't the 11 year old get into the pirate movie?
If you hit someone on 11:59:59 pm on a Sunday....
Does that mean you hit them into next week?
Sat on the toilet at 11:59PM. It’s currently 12:01AM.
Same shit, different day.
11 year old named Kevin: I don’t know who Catherine O’Hara is.
11 year old Daughter talking about her school assignment: ”Have you heard of Helen Keller”?
Me-Dad: “Nope never seen her either”.
Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, or 97 years old
Those are the years you’re in your prime
Did you know that a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information? Meaning that, during 3 seconds long ejaculation, more than 11,250 TERA bytes of information is transmitted.
That's alot of information to swallow.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
My wife said on a scale of 1 to 10, she rates me an 11
I was so happy but then she told me it was a pH scale because I’m basic as hell.
Sry I dont answer my phone on 9/11 . . .
I keep it on airplane mode.
If you think about it, 9/11 wasn't an inside job at all
The planes flew in from the outside
Don’t ever make fun of 9/11
What do you call all numbers between 10 and 11?
How come 11 ants couldn’t park their cars at their ant hill?
Because parking is for ten ants only!
I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...
And then you had a growth spurt.
It took him a few minutes...
I bought 10 asparagus at the store but when I got home I realized I had 11...
It was just a spare, I guess...
Today is the last time I am seeing my 11 year old brother!
Coz he's turning 12 tomorrow!
Did you know there were meant to only be 11 months?
They were going to make one named Vember, but it was decided “No Vember,” it was then wildly misinterpreted
Did you know the Apollo 11 astronauts arm wrestled to decide who would be the first man on the moon?
A man walks into Apple and says “Hi, I’m after an iPhone 11”
The assistant says “Ok I’ll serve the iPhone 11 first then”
My dad took me to an Apple store to buy me an iPhone 11
Me: "Please don't fart here."
Dad: "Why?"
Me: "Because they don't have Windows."
I was recently promoted on the supermarket security team to look out for people taking 11 items through the "10 items or less" checkout...
I am now a counter-terrorism officer.
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
Because 10+10 is 20 and 11+11 is 20 too
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same thing?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too.
Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same
How does 11+11 equal the same as 10+10?
Because 10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
Did you know 10 + 10 and 11 + 11 are the same?
10 + 10 is twenty and 11 + 11 is also twenty two
The sum of 10+10 and 11+11 are equal.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 p.m. and noticed the clock turn to midnight.
I thought, “Same shit. Different day.”
I was sitting on the toilet at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight...
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