"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
You can call it a chemis-tree
Well technically he always has been. I wouldn't exist without him.
...Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/ap9gqf/i_have_a_phd_in_procrastin/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app
For Hispanic attacks.
And my soccer coach in 7th grade asks me: Do you they call you Will or Bill?
Me: They call me both.
Coach: Okay, Both, nice to meet you.
I'm 42 years old, and that man's son still calls me "Both" to this day.
When is a cow hairy on the inside and outside at the same time?
When it's standing in the doorway of the barn.
/s
Girl: Well a cute guy like you thinking I'm cute makes me feel cute!
Me: So you could say it's an acute triangle!?
...she hasn't messaged me back
And when I looked at the digits of my phone
showing 06:42 I started feeling even number.
Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily. Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.
Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.
One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.
As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.
The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:
No Offense, Nun Taken
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... keep reading on reddit ➡Scene: Mum, Dad, and I, at party/bonfire thing, sitting outside in a gazebo, attempting to enjoy the relaxing night. Wind is making things rather chilly.
Mum (wrapped in blanket): "It would be rather nice if it wasn't so cold." *sighs* "This wind sucks."
Dad and I, simultaneously: "No, it blows." *high-five*
Sister: All the baseball players are wearing 42
Me: It's Jackie Robinson day
Dad: That's why we are watching the game in color.
Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.
Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football program was Sister Mary Margaret, an aged nun who would, in full habit, get out on the practice field and work on routes with the receivers, give pointers to the quarterbacks on their stances and releases, but most of all, love them like the second mother that she became to all of the boys in that program.
One year, on the eve of the state championship game, some evil malefactors broke into the convent and kidnapped Sister Mary Margaret. Everyone was stunned by the news, but none more so than the Knights of Central Catholic. They were devastated at the loss of their mentor.
As you might guess, the state championship game didn't go very well. For the first time in the history of the football program, the Knights were shut out. The Spartans beat them 42-0.
The next day, the headline on the local sports section read:
No Offense, Nun Taken
