Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Does England have a 4th of July?

Of coarse they do, it doesn’t jump from July 3rd to July 5th.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisprater6986
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July.

But not fire. . . . . Fire works on 4th of July.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeaOrna
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...

And then you had a growth spurt.

It took him a few minutes...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Every year on July 4th a group of ants get together inside a pen and have a dancing party.

It's "In the Pen Dance Day"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/defa90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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My sister and I were making a pie for the 4th of July

After making it, we opened the fridge to cool it. After being unable to find space for it, I suggested we move the steaks that my mom is saving for dinner. As we put them on a higher shelf, I looked at her and said β€œThe steaks have been raised”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miki-Corkrei
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Not everyone has Happy 4th of July.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrepreached
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Selling fireworks around the 4th of July must be a booming industry
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πŸ‘€︎ u/delmastron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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'Fire works' sign on the 4th of July at the Fanny Bay trail (Osceola forest, FL)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JelloPud
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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A 4th of July riddle:

What’s the difference between George Washington and a duck?

One has his face on a bill and the other has a bill on his face.

Be safe this holiday and have a great weekend !!!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Every year my town has a 4th of July track meet during the day, and any age can compete. My geologist dad, heavy set and not ready to compete, entered the mile and obviously did poorly, but he crossed the finish line, gave me a shit-eating grin and said:

"......gneiss guys finish last."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2017
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My dad said that he got divorced on the 4th of July.

He got the paperwork on the 2nd and waited to sign until the 4th because it's "Independence day"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squach509
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
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4th of July joke

Did you hear about the firecracker that wouldn't explode?

It refused

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphy223
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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for the 4th of july, here's a little known america fact: did you know that as the national bird, there’s a whole list of things that you can’t do to an eagle under federal law?

obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?

but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Me to my wife: What is the best way to start the 4th of July?

With a bang! πŸ‘‰πŸ‘Œ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pickled_Ramaker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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My wife just asked me if England had the 4th of July

Confused, I immediately replied, "No, they don't..."

She came back with, "Of course they do. They also have the 5th, and the 6th, and the 7th..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisguidedPenguin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
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At our town's 4th of July fireworks show, a vendor was selling pet turtles. My wife, impulsive animal lover that she is, bought one.

After the fireworks, we were gathering up our things to leave. She asked if her new turtle was OK. I picked up its little carrier, peered inside, and said, "It looks a little shell-shocked."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmostDisjoint
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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Son: Do they have the 4th of July in France?

Dad: No they skip from the 3rd to the 5th.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AZDiablo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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The retirement center where my elderly grandmother lives has an annual 4th-of-July ball for the residents.

We call it "In Depends Dance Day."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoGators2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2016
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Too soon, bad taste, couldn't help myself (4th of July Dad Joke)

We're talking about that poor guy who passed on after accidentally lighting fireworks attached to his head on the 4th.

My wife: "I mean, what do you even say that guy's funeral?"

Me: "Well, at least he went out with a bang."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/camram07
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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My dad: Do they have a 4th of July in England?

Me: No, why would they?

My dad: Of course they do, they just don't celebrate it!

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2015
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4th of July Dad Joke

We had bought some snake fireworks for my two year old to look at. Our driveway was wet from all of the rain we were getting. We found a piece of wood to lay down so the fireworks didn't get wet. That's when I said "Look! It's snakes on a plank!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kmo78
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2016
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Why is the 4th of July?

J is the 1st, u is the 2nd, l is the 3rd, and y is the 4th of July.

While my Grandfather was still alive he would tell this to us every year.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NautiBoppi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2015
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Dad-joked my friend about the 4th of July

My friends were talking about what they were doing for the 4th of July and we were all going out of town except for one friend. She said "I'll be here, holding down the fort."

"You mean holding down the 4th?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theflobster7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July....

But not fire....fire works on the 4th of July

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogOffPleez
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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Everyone has the 4th of July off except fire

Fireworks on the 4th of July

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Selling fireworks around the 4th of July must be a really...

Booming industry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/delmastron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Some people have off on July 4th. Fire does not. Fire works on the Fourth of July
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PandaYoshi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Some people enjoy a day off on the 4th of July, except for fire

Fire works on the 4th of July

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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