Dr. Dre-idel
Chello!
Alternatively:
What is Yo-Yo Ma's favorite dairy dessert?
Chello pudding!
Mississippi
My 3 year old brother came up to me (and everyone else in the house several times each) to tell a joke he made up (translated from Turkish but works in English anyway).
3yo: Do you need to go to the bathroom (a question we ask him frequently)?
Me: No
3yo: Are you sure?
Me: Yes?
3yo: Oh, hi Sure!
A tongue depressor.
I responded โBut youโre not a freezer.โ
I could feel the eye roll down the street.
I think to myself โOh I used to say this jokeโ. So in my best pirate voice I laugh and say, โR!โ
Smirking, my 6 yo replies, โAye, youโd think so, but it โtis the C!โ
Proud moment right there folks!
Her: Dad, what does gay means? Me: Gay means happy, kid. Her : Are you gay dad? Me: No! I married your Mom.
My wife: That's a repost!
Word.
Friend 1: "Aw thats too(two) dad"
Itโs getting out of hand.
Cause there ain't no rest for the wicked.
His name was Sherlock, holmes.
Donald Trumpโs gonna use her for his border wall.
Kylo Wren
B: "Hey dad, how many animals can jump higher than a building?"
Me: "I Don't know."
B: "All of them, buildings can't jump."
Me: เฒ _เฒ
Me (rather pleased): "Really?" Her: "Yes. Would you like it back?"
Friend: NaBrO
Me: Heads up, you have a package arriving today with your name on it. You have permission to open it today ๐๐
Him: Ok. Is the tree a hint or just a christmassy thing? I donโt need a tree๐ฒ
Me: Just a christmassy thing. We didnโt send you a tree.
Him: Great. I wouldnโt want to accuse you of tree, son ๐ค
Me: Oooof
Him: I was trying to branch out into political humor but it didnโt take root so I guess Iโll leaf it there
Me: You donโt know when to quit, do you?
Him: I wooden know about that
Him: I like to start off my showers with cold water. Me: Really? You take cold showers? For how long? Him: Just until the water warms up. Then I get in.
...well done, son. Well done.
Ad YourMominem!
After his baseball game, we picked up some take-out food for the family. Driving home and now dark, he and I see three people walking along the shoulder of our street, all wearing dark clothes. I almost hit one of them. I say, shaking my head, "Look at these idiots, wearing dark clothes at night...someone's gonna get run over."
He replies, from the back seat, "Yeah...they're not too bright."
Because she's a sweet lady with a great sense of humour.
Why did the tree cross the road?
...
Because it fell.
Son: Dad, what are flying pigs actually called?
Me: I think they're just called flying pigs.
Son: No, it's a Pigasus!
Needless to say, I was very proud. Even my wife laughed.
4yo: โyep!โ
Me: blows on childโs nose.
4yo: eyeroll
... I have to say, I find his work very up and down.
I'd probably suggest going to the restaurant on Sullivan, they catch and prepare deer fresh daily.
