My five yo son asked how he could spell pier...

So I said "it depends on which pier you mean. Can you use it in a sentence?"

His reply: "Yes. How do you spell pier?"

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tobiasosor
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My 2 yo daughter doesn’t like to go to sleep.

Some nights I feel like a cop chasing a robber trying to catch her so I can put her to sleep, as she β€œsteels” away in various rooms of the house...

You could say she’s β€œevading a-rest”...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x000b
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Yo! Did you know the greatest rapper ever was Jewish?

Dr. Dre-idel

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
2018: Β« Yo, dude, get woke. Β» 2019: Β« C'me on, get woke, it's 2019 ! Β» 2020: Β«... Hi. Well you could get e-woke I guess. Β»
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortelys
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My 7 yo son's contribution: What has three eyes and can't see? (to be fair i's)

Mississippi

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitormiss43
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
To that guy all I have to say is Yo-da Man!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-JasonTe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My 8 yo made this up after seeing a doctor: What makes your mouth sad?

A tongue depressor.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marblz88
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
We got a 3 yo dad in our house

My 3 year old brother came up to me (and everyone else in the house several times each) to tell a joke he made up (translated from Turkish but works in English anyway).

3yo: Do you need to go to the bathroom (a question we ask him frequently)?

Me: No

3yo: Are you sure?

Me: Yes?

3yo: Oh, hi Sure!

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akc1999
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
How does Yo-Yo Ma greet his neighbors in the morning?

Chello!

Alternatively:

What is Yo-Yo Ma's favorite dairy dessert?

Chello pudding!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6 yo asks: β€œWhat’s a pirate’s favorite letter?”

I think to myself β€˜Oh I used to say this joke’. So in my best pirate voice I laugh and say, β€œR!”

Smirking, my 6 yo replies, β€œAye, you’d think so, but it β€˜tis the C!”

Proud moment right there folks!

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketrhinoceros
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A pun for the desi people out there. [When did life become OYO from Yo! We’ll never know.]
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aryanveturekar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Yo I am ln
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soda_Monster
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
While I was walking the dog, our 4 yo was harassing my wife for a treat. She texted β€œShe’s trying to get a popsicle out of me.”

I responded β€œBut you’re not a freezer.”

I could feel the eye roll down the street.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/976chip
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Yo man does your bag go to the gym?
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Underwood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Yo god this atheist!
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12jd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My company is giving yo-yos as our gift this holidays and we are trying to think of a pun to include in our greeting cards. Any ideas?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/birdlawyer213
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Convo with my 6 yo daughter:

Her: Dad, what does gay means? Me: Gay means happy, kid. Her : Are you gay dad? Me: No! I married your Mom.

My wife: That's a repost!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinoyDadInOman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Yo come up with the best bread puns and dont ask rye.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrmsa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Si seΓ±or yo soy yo rancho ahhhhhhh
πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebjasmeister
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My 17 YO Son is ready for kids:

B: "Hey dad, how many animals can jump higher than a building?"

Me: "I Don't know."

B: "All of them, buildings can't jump."

Me: ΰ² _ΰ² 

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yn3russ
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
🚨︎ report
9 yo daughter: "You know, dad; I think I have your sense of humour."

Me (rather pleased): "Really?" Her: "Yes. Would you like it back?"

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flayan514
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Yo, homie. You know of any good computer programs for typing up documents?

Word.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My 8 y.o. son just discovered Yo Mama jokes. Here’s the first one he told me: Your Mama’s so fat

Donald Trump’s gonna use her for his border wall.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blisterson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My 9-yo. got me.

Him: I like to start off my showers with cold water. Me: Really? You take cold showers? For how long? Him: Just until the water warms up. Then I get in.

...well done, son. Well done.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karateexplosion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
🚨︎ report
Puns yo fork
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MathieuVeldhuis
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I got dadjoked by my 11 yo son.

After his baseball game, we picked up some take-out food for the family. Driving home and now dark, he and I see three people walking along the shoulder of our street, all wearing dark clothes. I almost hit one of them. I say, shaking my head, "Look at these idiots, wearing dark clothes at night...someone's gonna get run over."

He replies, from the back seat, "Yeah...they're not too bright."

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CCbullet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Yo-Yos really seem to have made a resurgence lately.

It’s getting out of hand.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevectorvictor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Text exchange with my 70-yo father. He’s still got it.

Me: Heads up, you have a package arriving today with your name on it. You have permission to open it today πŸ˜‰πŸŽ„

Him: Ok. Is the tree a hint or just a christmassy thing? I don’t need a tree🌲

Me: Just a christmassy thing. We didn’t send you a tree.

Him: Great. I wouldn’t want to accuse you of tree, son πŸ€“

Me: Oooof

Him: I was trying to branch out into political humor but it didn’t take root so I guess I’ll leaf it there

Me: You don’t know when to quit, do you?

Him: I wooden know about that

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idkflycasual
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Ey yo ese, what was the name of that P.I again?

His name was Sherlock, holmes.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubiousOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
(my 9 yo stepson made this up) What do you get when you cross a bird with a sith lord?

Kylo Wren

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foammunition
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
yo gurt!
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gunslayerjj
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Being a yo-yo master has its ups and downs.
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pappajay2001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Si seΓ±or yo soy yo rancho
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebjasmeister
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
In honour of mother's day, I'm going to tell yo mama jokes

Because she's a sweet lady with a great sense of humour.

πŸ‘︎ 250
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extraflux
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: Yo bro, can you tell me the chemical symbols for sodium, bromine and oxygen?

Friend: NaBrO

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/benjaminear3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
4 yo old daughter hit me with this

Why did the tree cross the road?

...

Because it fell.

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therooster427
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
🚨︎ report
What's yo momma's favorite logical fallacy?

Ad YourMominem!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kwahn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My 7 yo son asked about my tattoo this morning.

Son: Dad, what are flying pigs actually called?

Me: I think they're just called flying pigs.

Son: No, it's a Pigasus!

Needless to say, I was very proud. Even my wife laughed.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthRusty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
yo guys check it out, i drew deadpool.
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingpiggles10
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Mr. Seal Yo Girl
πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MomoYaseen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Me, to my 4 yo: β€œDo you need help blowing your nose?”

4yo: β€œyep!”

Me: blows on child’s nose.

4yo: eyeroll

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report

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