Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Because I love work PUNS! :D
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︎ Jun 20 2019
What works faster than a calculator?
π︎ 9k
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︎ Dec 30 2020
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
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︎ Jan 03 2021
When I was a kid I thought weβd all grow up to work with horses
All people ever talked about was getting a stable job...
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What do you call a calculator that works instantly?
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
tiring work
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︎ Jan 23 2021
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days
I said it must be my weekend immune system
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︎ Dec 06 2020
The elevator at work was broken so I took the stairs...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Now no one can get down.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I think I aced the drug test at work today.
Nobody got higher than me.
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︎ Jan 21 2021
I just found out the country of Canada is a complete work of fiction.
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︎ Jan 12 2021
I havent read a book in ages. So i decided to start with a book of how clocks work.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I used to work at a calendar factory
But they fired me for taking a couple of days off
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︎ Jan 05 2021
It swordof works...
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︎ Oct 24 2020
Off work today. You could say I'm... All Dressed Up and nowhere to go
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︎ Jan 17 2021
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Whats a zombies favorite work out?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory
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︎ Dec 24 2020
According to a recent study, itβs really hard for women to work for the Postal Service.
Itβs a mail dominated industry.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
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︎ Jan 09 2021
My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together
We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Vatican bankers have to wear priestly raiment to work
Because theyβre in-vestment advisors.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
An egg got late to work. He says to his boss:
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︎ Dec 23 2020
I work out?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
My water heater is very unpleasant to work with and never appreciates me.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 18 2021
So Iβm at dinner with the fam, telling the joke about what the kid with no arms got for Christmas (we still donβt know because he hasnβt opened them yet)...I set it up...a friend of mine at work has a kid...no arms...and deliver the punchline...
And my 10 year old son, completely deadpan, tells me
βDad, I knew that story wasnβt real because you donβt have any friendsβ
π»π»ππβ οΈβ οΈ It took me a solid 5 minutes to stop laughing.
I have achieved Dad level 10 at raising my kids
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I canβt do good work in Excel without getting compliments,
I really need the validation.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
I'm getting bored of hearing these Olympic athletes say .. 'how much work they've put in and the sacrifices they've made.'
What do they want a medal?
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Who works after they're fired?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Lad from work has just texted me and told me heβs caught Covid from his cat.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
How does a snowman get to work?
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︎ Jan 25 2021
I've an uncle who works for the symphonie part-time.
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︎ Jan 14 2021
The hospital I work at has shut down the revolving doors
I hear itβs cause they donβt want Covid going around....
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︎ Jan 20 2021
My friend works in IT and I asked him, βHow do you make a motherboard?β
He said, βI usually tell her about my job.β
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︎ Aug 11 2020
What shoes does a ninja wears to work?
π︎ 33
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︎ Dec 27 2020
How does pacman work out?
A walk a walk a walk a walk a walk a walk
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︎ Jan 03 2021
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didnβt work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
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︎ Jan 10 2021
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?
It really takes the hedge off!
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Its extremely rare for a defibrillator not to work.
But when it happens no oneβs shocked.
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My coworker brought some vegetables to snack on during work, and he didnβt offer me any
Itβs like he didnβt even carrot all
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︎ Dec 11 2020
Before I start, I need to see if this thing works.
"Everyone named Michael stand up."
Assorted people stand up
"And that concludes the mike check."
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︎ Jan 12 2021
What do lawyers wear to work?
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What works faster than a calculator?
π︎ 102
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︎ Jan 17 2021
What works faster than a calculator?
π︎ 92
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︎ Jan 15 2021
What works faster than a calculator?
π︎ 12
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︎ Jan 07 2021
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