I don't get why puns are considered dad jokes,
I've never seen a pun with kids before!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 27 2019
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 18 2013
Why is Dark spelled with a βKβ and not a βCβ?
Because you canβt βCβ in the dark
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
Why is it pronounced "Bri'ish" if you're from Britain?
Because they drank the 't'
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 03 2021
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Apr 07 2021
Why are fish so easy to weigh
Because they come with there own scales
π︎ 644
π
︎ May 12 2021
I meant to cross post it but I donβt know why I cannot cross post so here is the screenshot version
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a βbβ comes after it!
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Why can't blind people eat fish ?
π︎ 267
π
︎ May 12 2021
My boss always laughed at my jokes at work but since the pandemic she never laughs at them in Zoom chats. I asked her why doesn't she laugh at them anymore.
She replied, "Because your jokes aren't remotely funny."
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 09 2021
Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?
She wanted the task manager
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
Why did Eminem prefer the Johnson & Johnson vaccine?
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 21 2021
Why did Karl Marx write in all lowercase letters?
Because he hated capitalism
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 03 2021
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
Why you should knock on fridge before opening it?
Because there could be a salad dressing.
π︎ 529
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
Asked my contractor why he didnβt bill me for my new roof
He said βDonβt worry about it, itβs on the house!β
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 25 2021
Friend of mine asked why I took a side job at the bakery
I told him I donβt knead the dough, but I do get a rise out of it
π︎ 669
π
︎ Apr 26 2021
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover?
Because you shouldn't press your luck!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?
Because they don't have pockets.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 14 2021
Why donβt vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
π︎ 426
π
︎ May 02 2021
Why did I stop and take a shot of vodka when I was running late to work?
That's what I do when I'm Russian
π︎ 339
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
Why is ballooning so expensive?
π︎ 108
π
︎ May 12 2021
Why is six afraid of seven?
7 was a well known 6 offender
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
Why are ducks so crazy?
Because they're addicted to quack!
π︎ 304
π
︎ May 02 2021
Why are French snails faster than others?
π︎ 67
π
︎ May 01 2021
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because, they use honeycombs.
π︎ 211
π
︎ May 01 2021
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
Why did the picture go to jail
π︎ 124
π
︎ May 10 2021
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet
π︎ 528
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
Why canβt a nose be 12 inches?
Cuz then it would be a foot
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 18 2021
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn't see that well
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Mar 08 2021
Why don't cannibals ever cook noodles?
π︎ 147
π
︎ May 06 2021
Why do monkeys always share Amazon accounts?
Because they are Prime mates.
... Sorry.
π︎ 48
π
︎ May 06 2021
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns donβt work
π︎ 155
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
My 11 y.o. son getting ready for school: Why do you always keep your snowman happy?
So he doesn't have a meltdown.
π︎ 293
π
︎ May 06 2021
Why were the cows always returning to the marijuana field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
π︎ 272
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
(My Grandma called me just to tell me this one): Why did the farmer bury a lightbulb?
He wanted to grow a power plant
π︎ 246
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
Why are communists always late?
They can only keep track of hours
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 02 2021
Why aren't koalas classified as bears?
Because they don't have the right koalafications!
π︎ 172
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
Why is childbirth called delivery?
Shouldn't it be called take out?
π︎ 189
π
︎ Apr 24 2021
Why are shoulders your biggest supporters?
because they are always by your side
π︎ 35
π
︎ May 12 2021
Why did the non-binary prospectors head west?
Because there was gold in them/their hills
π︎ 793
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
Why searching for goose feathers is impossible?
Because you need to look up down
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 06 2021
Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
π︎ 134
π
︎ May 06 2021
Why is yoda afraid of 7?
Because six, seven eight.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Feb 11 2021
Why did the non-binary prospector head out West?
Because there was gold in them/their hills!
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
