What did Huey Lewis say when he visited his chiropractor?
I need my hip to be square.
Why haven’t aliens visited us yet?
They saw the rating- only one star.
A few years ago, I visited a psychic who predicted that Joe Biden would beat Donald Trump in an election. She also predicted that soon, a global pandemic would break out and spread across the world.
In retrospect, her psychic vision was 2020.
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips...
'Are you the friar? ' I asked him.
'No, I am the chip monk' he replied.
Edit : Holy crap ! More than 1K updoots for a silly joke ? Thanks guys ! I am not sure whether to be proud or ashamed of myself.
I visited an online butcher shop today.
Every coffee shop you've ever visited...
...is run by a bunch of has-beans.
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system yet?
They looked at the reviews first...... only 1 star
Once upon a time when I visited the dentist........
Doctor: What's the problem?
Me: I'm a moth.
Doctor: Excuse me?
Me: I'm a moth.
Doctor: Maybe you should see a psychiatrist not a dentist.
Me: I went to the psychiatrist about an hour ago.
Doctor: Then what are you doing here?
Me: Your light was on.
I've visited all the Italian chapels, from first to last. My favourite was the
Son: Hey dad, have you ever visited Berlin?
Dad: Yeah, it was a beatiful city. I would give it a nein out of 10.
I visited the doctor today and he told me my sugar was too high.
So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.
I recently visited Washington state for the first time. Much to my surprise, it ended up being a warm and sunny day when I arrived! Put on a tank top, threw on some shades, and picked up an iced latte. I took a stroll through the park near the Space Needle and had a wonderful time.
I guess you could say I was sleeveless in Seattle
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
I learned an important historical lesson after I visited Mount Rushmore.
The best American Presidents were stoned.
The Russian president visited New York and stayed at a pretty swanky hotel.
He was Putin on the Ritz.
I can count on one hand how many times I've visited Chernobyl
When I visited Alaska, I kept thinking I was seeing native eye doctors...
Turns out it was just an optical Aleutian.
A snowman visited the doctor complaining about back pain.
They were diagnosed with Snowliosis.
What did Train say when they visited a sibling in South Korea?
I visited my friend and when I got there I noticed he had dressed up a bottle of gin like Santa Claus. So I asked him about it.
He told me, “Oh that? It’s just a bit of holiday spirit.”
I visited an air hangar today
It was nothing special... Really plane if you ask me
I visited some blind friends who told they did not feel safe at home.
So i visited a neurologic clinic that, between other mental illness, treats Alzheimer patients. This was their main lobby's painting.
My girlfriend visited both the North Pole and the South Pole this month
I guess you could say she’s bipolar
The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.
You have been visited by Doctor Doggo
I visited my doctor today and have been prescribed some anti-gloating cream.
Now all I have to do is rub it in
My brother visited the cemetery today to see our mom. He walked up to her grave stone, closed his eyes and with a tear running down his cheek, said
Look who’s grounded now, mom.
I recently visited Broome, Western Australia.
I visited a tennis equipment factory. The noise there was unbearable
They make a racket.
(Please no hate. Tennis jokes need love)
I visited a restaurant called The Ivy.
Of all the places I've been to, it's the fourth best.
I visited my friend and his pet rabbit ran away the very next day.
Hare today, gone tomorrow.
To all the people who visited Chernobyl...
I think that they're pretty rad.
I never should have visited the dead orchard.
It was a fruitless endeavor.
I visited a another dimension
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star
Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?
They looked at our reviews: only 1 star.
I visited a monastery
and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the
friar'?"
He replied "No, I'm the chip monk"
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet ?
The looked at the reviews.....only 1 star
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?
They checked the reviews................ only one star.
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system yet?
When they checked the reviews it only had 1 star.
Why haven’t the aliens visited our solar system yet?
Bad reviews... only 1 star.
How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited?
You know why aliens haven't visited us yet?
They checked our reviews. One star.
I visited a monastery
As I walked past the kitchen, I saw a man frying chips. I asked him if he was the friar. He replied "No, I'm the chip monk."
Why haven’t aliens visited yet?
They checked the reviews of our solar system and only saw one star
Why haven't Aliens visited our solar system?
They looked at the reviews and we only have one star.
Why haven't aliens visited our solar system?
Because when they checked the review, it had only one star.
I can count on one hand how many times I visited Chernobyl
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