Know how you can tell your neighbor is a chemist?

He keeps telling you all about his vay-cat-i-on!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starfishorseastar
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2022
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A man has a grandfather clock that only makes the tick sound, so he hires a German clockmaker to make repairs

When the clockmaker arrives he pulls out his tool bag and spreads it out across a table. He shines a flash at the face of the clock and says β€œVe have vays of making you tock”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darth_Yohanan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2021
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My grandfather was captured by the Germans in WWII. Being a high-ranking officer, they kept him captive for months but all he would do is sit in his cell saying "tick... tick... tick...". Their top interrogator was sent in to get important information out of him...

When in the interrogation room, he told my grandfather

"vee haf vays of making you tock!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FaultyData
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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Grand dad joke.

My grandpa would always tell me this story about his uncles in WWII. "My uncle was actually captured by the Germans and kept in a pow camp. They would try to break the prisoners spirit by making them to mindless things. One in particular they would make the prisoners stand in a line and all move their heads like a clock back and forth and say, 'tick tock tick tock.' My uncle was always a wise guy so he would rebel in the simplest way. He would only go, 'tick tick tick.' One day the guard finally caught him and said, 'don't vorry. Ve have vays of making you tock.'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfdancer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2013
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What did the German commander say to the ticking clock?

Ve haf vays and means of making you tock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Harkonan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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