Please form an orderly, orderly, orderly queue.
It wasn't our first date but was the one that stuck in my head.
“They are to keep your shirt done up” he replied.
I have no idea how much she charges.
He stood up halfway through and said "Dad, I really don't know what you mean."
My teacher said, I'm the perfect roll model.
Hopefully soon i get the hang of it.
It was in tenths.
I told him pilot jobs aren't really taking off at the moment.
I just looked right through him. Mad world innit.
He remembered to add the sea.
A Hannibal Lecture!
When I fight with my wife, she keeps getting historical.
You mean, hysterical, right?
No, she keeps bringing up the past
And fruit flies like a banana.
I need to get out more.
It was de-vine punishment.
He’s a great tooter.
A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service.
History Lesson
In the Middle Ages people who had troublesome daughters sent them to nunneries so as to do something with their lives. However, doing that was a bit expensive so poorer families sent their daughters to become an anchorite. So for those families, becoming an Anchorite was second to nun
The best American Presidents were stoned.
They tortoise a lot.
Yesterday I was robbed by Moses
I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.
I always fretted going to them.
That's when I found out she was prone to violins
One of the most interesting objects in the night sky is a fuzzy patch of stars known colloquially as the “Seven Sisters”. In order to find it, first find the constellation Orion, and follow the direction his Bow is shooting.
No thanks necessary, we aim to Pleiades.
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
No means no.
While the king was trying to decide what to name its guards, his wife walked into the room. She said “honey, I’m going to bed.” The king was preoccupied with his thinking and shortly said “k. Night.” Then moments later went “babe you’re a genius! Knight!”
I found out I was band
Apparently she just waltzed right out of there.
He claims that they haven't hit anything.
Please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
He remembered to add the sea.
orderly orderly orderly queue
The receptionist said, "If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue".
He remembered to add the sea.
