I used to clean the toilets when I was in the army
They called me loo tenant
My wife and I always fight over the right way to hang the toilet paper roll, so our therapist suggested we try the other person's way for a week.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
(This joke was my daughters suggestion)
From my 7yo Nephew, Why should you always bring toilet paper to gatherings?
For all the party poopers!
What did Spock find in the Enterprise toilet?
I just did a real number on my toilet.
Back in my day, you could walk into a store with $25 and walk out with 2 ribeye steaks, a case of beer, a pack of toilet paper and a gallon of milk. You just can’t do that anymore….
What do you call the toilet at Taco Bell?
Jet Propulsion Laboratory
What do you call a Spanish toilet that weighs 2,000 pounds?
I don't like toilet humor
It's the butt of all jokes
Had my toilet stolen. Can’t have shit in Detroit
Did you hear about the prince who plays poker on the toilet?
He always has a royal flush
What do ducks do in the toilet?
I droped a comic book in the toilet this morning...
I'm having a bit of trouble coming to terms with the invention of the toilet brush..
My wife is threatening to leave me for never putting the toilet seat down.
To be honest, I’m getting a little tired of carrying it around.
I was sitting on the toilet, angry and late for work....
I thought to myself, I don't have time for this sh!t.
I go to the toilet for two reasons.
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the street?
What was Napoleon's toilet called?
The Russian presidents great grandparents didn't use their toilet during the war...
They had to use the Poo tin.
Wife had me install a new toilet
After all the time and effort, it wouldn’t work for crap. 💩
What key does a toilet flush in?
Toilet stolen from police headquarters
Cops have nothing to go on.
It's my job to fully test the functionality of newly-manufactured toilets and urinals.
I go where no man has ever gone before.
What's a toilets favourite restaurant?
I learned today that 40k people a year get injured by their toilet..
My 6yo daughter came up with this one. Where do toilets come from?
You know how a toilet is referred to as the John? I renamed mine Jim.
People are really impressed when they learn I hit the Jim twice per day.
Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves
Today was the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
I keep a side view mirror attached to my toilet.
For when I want to pass gas.
Why’d the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Here’s a simple rule to follow if you are caught in the wilderness without toilet paper.
Just take a leaf out of Bear Grylls’ book.
What do you call a tall toilet?
What do you call a British soldier who lives in a toilet?
So the family came home from an afternoon out on the town and found something in the toilet. Nobody would claim the deed.
We had ourselves a regular poo-dunit.
How do you recycle toilet paper?
You beat the crap out of it.
Did you hear about the dead toilet?
I don't understand why people don't like toilet humour
How is life like toilet paper?
>!You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.!<
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road ?
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
Toilet paper should hang down over the top.
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