Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 24 2021
Some guys are talking about wether they prefer to use urinals or toilets to do their business, then one of the friends say "I sit down when I pee"
Another friend proceeds to curse and weep at the first friend yelling "I though you were a stand-up guy!"
π︎ 35
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 09 2021
I was standing at the urinals
when a fella stepped up to the short one next to me and said, βIβve never seen one of these so low!β To which I replied, βand you can finally pee in comfort, right?β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 02 2021
Please do not throw cigarette butts in the urinals
It makes them soggy and hard to light
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
When you're at the urinals, it doesn't matter of you're French, German, Spanish or Swedish
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 21 2020
Being 6 ft apart while using urinals
Is considered social pisstancing
π︎ 22
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
Lines for urinals have become an increasing problem in containing the coronavirus.
So mind your pees in queues.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
A toilet, a urinal and a very drunk sink are all at the front of a club, fighting and arguing with the bouncer to allow them and their extremely intoxicated friend inside.
Repeatedly shouting βLet that sink in!β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
urinal cakes
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 09 2018
A fly landed on the edge of a urinal and fell in.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
π︎ 48
π
︎ May 11 2019
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because itβs where all the dicks hang out
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
I look at guys using adjacent urinals.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 06 2019
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 06 2019
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Sep 26 2018
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
Did you know that the inventor of the urinal was only a child?
π︎ 172
π
︎ Jun 22 2017
Dad walked by me at the urinal....
"Is this where all the dicks hangout?"
Goddamn it.
π︎ 902
π
︎ Sep 02 2013
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 25 2018
Guy gets arrested for fighting a urinal
I guess he was pissed off
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 10 2018
NEWS ITEM: "Pope raises all the Vatican urinals."
He wants to keep the Cardinals on their toes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 26 2018
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?
If you pee something, pay something.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 02 2017
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 23 2018
Iβve got a urinal that just wonβt get serious...
Itβs always taking the piss.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 28 2018
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom.
When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 26 2017
Walked into a stadium bathroom with a wall of urinals and no toilets. Dad says "standing room only"
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 26 2017
Urine-nation would be a great name for urinal installation company
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 21 2018
Why is there a penny in the urinal?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 01 2017
Urinal out of order
Dad walked into a restroom and saw an "Out of order" sign on a urinal.
"Man... it's going to be tough to move all these urinals to get them back in the right order...."
π︎ 26
π
︎ Nov 05 2015
The man at the urinal next to me asked me if my penis burned when I urinated...
I told him, "I don't know... I never tried to light it"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 10 2013
At the urinal in the men's room...
"I've heard that this is where all the dicks hang out"
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 14 2015
Urinal Dad Jokes
My family was going out to dinner one night at a nice steakhouse, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. As I walked up to a urinal, I saw my dad walk to the urinal beside me. We both got down to business, my dad said "So this is where all the dicks hang out huh?" then finished up and left. I couldn't make eye contact with my father for the rest of the night....
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 16 2015
said while standing at a urinal with fellow pee-ers...
"water's a bit nippy, eh?"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 03 2014
Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 24 2021
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