As a father, is it okay for me to refer to the plastic threaded flange which secures the silicone nipple onto the plastic baby formula bottle as the

baby nipple ring?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
just came across this pun thread from an eternity ago, seriously,, it was worth Peru-sing
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
We just bought our new dream house and as I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs!?" I chuckled and replied, "Awwwww sweetie...."

"Stairs don't talk!"

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill

So I sent him a "get well soon" card

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedCakesYT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife rang me at the pub and said, β€œIf you’re not home in 10 minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.” I was home in 5 minutes.

I’d hate for anything to happen to the dog.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The pun thread
πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edwardsama_702
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My left knee has never committed a crime.

I can’t say the same for his felony.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone.

He said, β€œFine. Suit yourself.”

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife was a little puzzled when I suddenly bought some new beads for her abacus. Smiling, I said to her...

"Honey, it’s the little things that count!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...

You need to let that mango.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
People who run behind cars get exhausted.

But people who run in front of cars get tired.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A godsend thread
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BubblyPotato_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Praypal
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a highlighter's favorite Twister position?

Knee on yellow.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheelay_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Landed this in a text message thread to my SO

SO (at the market) : What kind of coffee beans do you want?

Me: Anything that doesn't say dark roast

SO: OMG! Hold the phone, I may have found something amazing!

Me: Fun fact, I am already holding the phone.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScotchHarbour
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
This thread is a goldmine
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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Those puns are rock solid.
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VloerTegels
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A simple pun sparked a beautiful thread
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nerlinhammy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
This entire thread of car puns
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/explodingbrick938
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
If Watson isn't the most famous doctor...

...Then Who is.

πŸ‘︎ 429
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPackinwud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Are people born with a photographic memory?

Or does it take time to develop?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YesImThatJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My 3 year old's first joke

What's wobbly in the sky A jellycopter

Not the best execution, but I'm happy he's joining the tradition of bad jokes

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rushpig
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him..

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/champion-13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Training for dad level jokes.

My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.

Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.

At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackybeau
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Just came across a pun thread on r/dadjokes....thought it belonged here.Enjoy :)
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vradenee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
found this in a comment thread lmao
πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solid_salad
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the farmer keep putting spools of thread into the gas tank of his tractor?

Someone told him it was a sowing machine.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The Great Insect Pun Thread

Start praying man, β€˜tis the season.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MobileBrowns
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.

I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.

πŸ‘︎ 801
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kikasphalt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
"No Time To Die" movie is delayed. Thread goes full-pun mode
πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spirit_bullet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Snores loudly and car careens off road
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holxino
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do riot police arrive early to the protests?

... so they can beat the crowds!

Edit: Wow, this is now my second highest upvoted post ever, and it's not even my own joke! Totally should have credited the video I saw this in: https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/h8btkp/protester_has_a_joke_for_the_police_officers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Thanks for the laughs and great comment threads, Reddit :)

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Row199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I found this on my girl's dress, and she told me to post a thread on Reddit. She's so punny.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneWhoOlives
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
This thread is very pinteresting..
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LogangYeddu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....

Sofa sew good.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/writenroll
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I drew a joke I saw on Reddit (Homophones #9) [OC] imgur.com/U7c4Hnx
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarahcominghome
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank...

The rabbit says, β€œI think I might be type o.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jigglytep
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
This whole thread about a guy who smuggled eels is gold.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lemonsarethekey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Everybody is shocked....

When they realize I’m not an electrician.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, β€œhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, β€œare you a vet?”

He said, β€œvet? I’m fucking soaking”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rohanlahiri05
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
This thread.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToddTwoTails
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I saw a bucket at the hardware store with a sign that said: dead batteries - $1 each.

I thought to myself β€œthese should be free of charge”.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/corbimatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I am sure someone has posted this one before, but, since I haven’t seen it, here goes! What did the wood screw say to the machine screw?

Wow! Those are some fine lookin’ threads, brotha!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?

Butane, because it's lighter fluid...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdryan1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun thread chapter 1
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Did y'all hear about that man who said he made thread for a living?

It turns out he was just spinning a yarn

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcceptableBook
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Where do cavemen go to get their clothes fixed?

Thread Flinstone

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefrogliveson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Bomb Pun megathread!

Post all bomb puns here, whether they be good or bad.

Edit: Wow. This blew up.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/heraldoftheplague
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
This has got to be the longest pun thread I've seen, yet
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarPrince
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Somebody needed to vent
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brandondsantos
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A blind person was eating seafood

It didn’t help.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nom_nom44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
This pun thread is very juicy.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/metheist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don’t ants get sick

Because they have little anty bodies

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaughingHyena12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction.

I just want to make a difference.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Spooky name thread: I'll start with "Doug Grave".
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rubbernipple
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Cool pun
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yamishta
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did 2 tell 3 when he saw 6 acting like an idiot?

Don’t worry about him. He’s just a product of our times.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I said yes to my dentist wife

She accepted me with all my floss.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OtsuKotsu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I need help with my sewing

Oops, wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife screamed "you haven't listened to a single word I've said, have you?!"

What a weird way to start a conversation..

πŸ‘︎ 23k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bazander04
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Comment from a thread on cat scans
πŸ‘︎ 236
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a strip club for blind people

The girls there were dancing like nobody was watching

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/imalilfatgirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If you don’t get the joke, you might have a screw loose
πŸ‘︎ 235
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kupalurk-yt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Crucifact.....
πŸ‘︎ 96
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/givinhi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Vegetable Puns Needed
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Pyramid76
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My father always laughed at me when I got shocked playing with electricity

He’d laugh and say, β€œSon, you’re grounded.”

πŸ‘︎ 244
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Phenomenal twitter thread imgur.com/a/2B1YBYh/
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aus10w
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Seriously, children are not allowed in this thread

No kid in!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
it thor me apart
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gunslayerjj
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Bee-youtiful pun thread found in the wild...
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ULostMyUsername
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad might be a living reddit thread. He sent me some new cookware recently.
πŸ‘︎ 810
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pheasantsir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
A vegetarian girl walked up to me and claimed we met before ...

I'm sure I never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BadPuppyZA
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Yemen. I'm China figure out why this thread lasted so long
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stolen_Burrito
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Found on an Apple thread
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoSatellite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Classic
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JaceAltair
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?

For meatier showers

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Automated-Waffles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Slightly peeved that the makers of the shampoo, "Head and Shoulders"...

…have not followed up with a bodywash called, "Knees and toes."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the thread get to school?

On the spool bus πŸ™‚

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/plotinus99
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
It's urgent Tina.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesy_Crust
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

Because all the fans left.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bazander04
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
This entire thread is gold.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gliese_436b
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A police officer says to a couple: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son set the school on fire".

They ask "Was it arson?", and the officer answers "Yes, your son".

Edit: holy shrimp! I got silver! Thanks for the reception!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pvtsoab
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
On a thread about quarantining a water drinking subreddit
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSpiral
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I was urchin to keep scrolling down this thread, but you sea, I kept herring that the puns got more and more carp. v.redd.it/ypd18apxdu531
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CREEPONATER
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
An uninteresting title
πŸ‘︎ 277
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CantGamefoShit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
r/AskReddit celebration thread
πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1234filip
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the computer take its Hat off?

Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

Edit- North of 4k upvotes, Thank You Kind Strangers.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatindiandood
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I’d tell you a Fibonacci joke, but’s it’s probably as bad as the last two you’ve heard combined
πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nh-278
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she had just ironed.

I watched it all unfold.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A daily pun thread

I propose we start a daily competition.

Each day the winner of the pervious days thread provides the word for the day.

Then you lovely lot will go off into reddit and try make the best pun around that word/phrase you can, and link your best result in that days thread. The comment with the most up votes wins for the day. Only one pun per account per day.

Ill start with a relatively easy one: Pun

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/biddlyboing
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Some meaningful words
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beerendaz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Funny one I found on a Facebook thread
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/suckme_beautiful
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said that everything on this subreddit was stupid, unfunny puns...

But I made this post yesterday that says otherwise.

Obligatory Edit: I have so many people to thank for gold, but I think this says it all.

πŸ‘︎ 25k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate,

right where it hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychoCow1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I don't think anyone's posted this one before.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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My sewing instructor just told me that I’m the worst student she has ever seen.

Shit. Wrong thread.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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