My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire

Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hpbojoe
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I can't talk to my online buds. I checked everything and the problem is the wire.

Discord isn't working

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-ViVid-Grey
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow jumps over an electrified barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
What do parent wires do with bad kid wires

Ground them

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zdaga9999
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
"Cheer up, you could be a replacement stake in the ground for barbed wire to stretch upon," said one new joke to another.

"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
I saw this fish the other day holding a roll of chicken wire...

... I thought, that makes sense, it’s a swordfish, they’re good at fencing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14
🚨︎ report
Did you ever see how wires are made?

It’s pretty shocking

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
My wife and I have problems understanding each other and always get wires crossed.

But I love it when the sparks fly.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pyrofighter258
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 64
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a cow fails to jump over a barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction

Probably a re-post, but I haven't seen it on here in quite a while

If you have seen it recently... I'm utterly sorry

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw some kids outside playing with live wires.

I think they should be grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mudman1969
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
This afternoon at the hardware store my son asks, "Papi, do we need any barbed wire?"

Me: "No, son. But, don't be mad that we don't. There's no need to take a fence."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wuapinmon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I strip wires for a living.

It’s not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet.

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do crows sit on electric wires? - To make long distance caws.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timetraveller1992
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spookletonslogs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers fighting over a penny

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanOhKnow
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A Scottish piece of copper wire walks into a bar, and his friend challenges him to drink a pint of beer in under 2 seconds. He responds...

I conduit

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jman2600
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

An udder disaster

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Goodoboy30
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad said he wanted a new pair of wire strippers for Father’s Day.

When I asked what happened to the old ones he said β€œ they decided it was time to go to wire college”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/milfhunter6969-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a herd of cows jumping over a barbed wire fence?

Udder devastation

πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pa526
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I touched an old electricity wire

I'm CURRENTly shocked by how old it is

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowsLight65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The best music playing devices have wires.

Wireless devices often sound chord-less.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter was acting up so I stuck one end of a piece if wire in the ground and told her to hold the other end.

Now she's grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brophyg4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My son keeps chewing on the live electric wires...as a parent, I handled it...

I told him he’s grounded.

πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BalenTheWeeb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to wire a time travel joke but...

You guys said it was a repost.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoshiofthewire
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?

Udder destruction

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smokedgouda9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
"Don't touch that electric wire with your bare hands!"

I thought I was human.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a wire trimming store with two wires

He came out one wire short

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flying_cheeto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence?

Udder Destruction

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreatgreyscowl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Several members of the bomb squad were in a heated debate over which wire to cut

When another member walked over and astutely pointed out β€˜discord’

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you get when a cow climbs a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/carson_howard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What happens when a cow leaps over a barbed wire fence?

Utter destruction...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FLHT2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current

Because it's heavy metal

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ams1492
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do Switzerland & a white electrical wire have in common?

They're neutral

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-gem-524
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
I came home to find my dishevelled bed was covered in razor wire, crocodiles and grand pianos!

You couldn't make it up.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flayan514
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed-wire fence?

Udder destruction

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yomas311
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Dad joke about 'The Wire'

Dad: "What are you up to?"

Me: "Nothing much. Watching The Wire."

Dad: "Eh, I thought The String was much better"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/homefree122
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?

It was udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you ever see how wires are made?

It’s pretty shocking

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I strip wires for a living.

It’s not a glamorous job, but at least I can make ends meet.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
what happens to a cow when it jumps over a barbed wire fence?

udder destruction.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2018
🚨︎ report

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