A piece of string walks into a bar

Immediately the bartender tells him to get out "We don't serve pieces of string here!"

The piece of string is a bit disappointed, but has an idea. He ruffles his top and returns to the bar.

"I told you to get out. We don't serve pieces of string here!" said the bartender

The string replies "A piece of string ?? I'm a frayed knot!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
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A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink...

Bartender says, "we don't serve strings here."

The string goes outside, ties himself in a knot, frays his hair.

The string goes back inside. The bartender serves him a drink and says, "hey wait a minute, weren't you that string from earlier?"

And the string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kahnartist81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
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Saw two members of a string section of an orchestra get in a fight...

They should know violins is never the answer..

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feral1991
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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Last night I ate a piece of string

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schiggy182
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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I worked security at a chemical plant. There had been a string of robberies at nearby chemical plants, and one night... lo and behold- we heard the alarm...

My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
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My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.

My dog was delighted.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...

He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
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two exes were tied together by a string but it broke

guess there was too much tension between them

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squintyeyes101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Two pieces of string slither into a bar...

They climb up a couple of bar stools and have a seat. One of them says to the bartender, "Hey, give me and my partner here a beer would you?"

The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So they climb down off of the bar stools and slither across the floor and out of the bar.

One says to the other,"Lets go down the street. I know of a better bar than this one anyways."

"Now wait a minute, said the other string.This is clearly discrimination!"

"Well what do you intend to do about it?"said the other string?

"I'm going to go back in with a disguise and I'll get that damn beer." So he ties himself in a knot, frazzles up one end of himself,goes back into the bar,slithers across the floor and climbs up the bar stool. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer please."

The bartender says," Wait a minute . Aren't you the same piece of string that was in here a while ago?"

So the string said, "No.I'm a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I once ate two pieces of string and an hour later they came out my ass tied together

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chettamine
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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As I ran my finger down her G string, she moaned:

"Give me back my guitar!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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After getting a lot of negative reviews due to their rather poor string section, the LAPD Police Band decided to lose all the strings from their performances.

It was finally the long-awaited end of police violins.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlaviVirtahepo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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No strings attached, trust me
πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arm3tt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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Why don’t strings ever race?

They always tie.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greem_1372
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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A piece of string walks into a bar.

Before he sits down the bartender yells β€œHey! We don’t serve pieces of string like you!”

The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls around on the ground for a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down.

The bartender says β€œAren’t you that piece of string?” The string replies β€œNo. I’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExistentialYurt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 216
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I accidentally swallowed some string this morning... Don't believe me?

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rajdhagat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I bought a brand-new top-of-the-line string trimmer of a guy on craigslist for only $20

it was a total Stihl

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrF4rtB4rf
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowenpa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
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What did Bach say when he snapped a piano string?

"Ugh, I baroque a string whilst trilling to fix my piano. Well, I guess i legato get a new one"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johna328
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Did you hear about the string of bank robberies committed by a guy dressed up like Jesus?

The cops finally nailed him.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Did you hear about the race between two pieces of string?

It was a tie

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/game84cube
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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What do you call a bad piece of string?

Knotty

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...

Stop making that racket.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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A string walks into a bar

He says "Bartender, get me a beer."

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."

The string is pissed. He goes into the alley, twists himself up, messes up his hair, and storms back inside.

"Bartender. Get me a beer."

The bartender eyes him suspiciously. "Hey, ain't you that string I sent out earlier?"

The string shakes his head. "I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnfunkyUfologist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.

But now they have a lot of violins

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arthur_Decosta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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A man went to a nightclub with a piece of string.

The bouncer said, "You can't come in. You haven't got a tie."

The man replied "Yes, I have. It's this piece of string."

The man asked the string "Are you a tie?"

The string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B_scuit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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A piece of string goes into a bar

The barman says

"We don't serve your kind around here"

So the piece of string leaves, parts his hair, and comes back

The barman asks

"Aren't you the same guy from a minute ago"

"I'm a frayed knot" the piece of string states

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanTheCEO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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air guitar strings
πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieG4mer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Violinist Caught After a String of Robberies
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodentman87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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There are 10 types of guitarists in the world: those that can only strum a 6 string...

... and those that know bass too.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/enigmastrat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
A string goes into a bar, the bartender asks: "Would you like a drink"?

String: "I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oSocialPeanut
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
my party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together....

i shit you knot!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mznalouise22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If I swallow two pieces of strings, they will come out the other end tied together

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K3VLOL99
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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A string goes into a bar. He asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says β€œwe don’t serve string here.

So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says β€œwe don’t serve string here. So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says β€œhey aren’t you that piece of string that was just in here?” The string looks him in the eye and says β€œnope, I’m a frayed knot!”

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfntx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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I accidentally swallowed some string last night..

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/papa_bling
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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I swallowed two strings and they came out tied together.

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bring-me-cake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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A string walks into a bar...

Bartender says "Hey! You're too young to be in here! Get lost!"

The string goes outside, and to disguise himself, ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair and walks back in.

The bartender sees him and yells "Hey! Aren't you the string I just threw out of here!?"

"I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeChadley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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