I shit you knot.
Before he sits down the bartender yells “Hey! We don’t serve pieces of string like you!”
The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls around on the ground for a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down.
The bartender says “Aren’t you that piece of string?” The string replies “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here!"
They go outside and one of the strings messes up his hair and ties himself up. He walks back inside and the bartender says, "Aren't you one of those strings I just got rid of?"
The string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"
it was a total Stihl
I shit you knot.
I shit you knot
It was a tie
"Ugh, I baroque a string whilst trilling to fix my piano. Well, I guess i legato get a new one"
Bartender says "Hey! You're too young to be in here! Get lost!"
The string goes outside, and to disguise himself, ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair and walks back in.
The bartender sees him and yells "Hey! Aren't you the string I just threw out of here!?"
"I'm a frayed knot."
I shit you knot.
Just realised it was a waist of time
The bouncer said, "You can't come in. You haven't got a tie."
The man replied "Yes, I have. It's this piece of string."
The man asked the string "Are you a tie?"
The string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."
The cops finally nailed him.
Stop making that racket.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
But now they have a lot of violins
The barman says
"We don't serve your kind around here"
So the piece of string leaves, parts his hair, and comes back
The barman asks
"Aren't you the same guy from a minute ago"
"I'm a frayed knot" the piece of string states
So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “we don’t serve string here.
So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says “hey aren’t you that piece of string that was just in here?” The string looks him in the eye and says “nope, I’m a frayed knot!”
I shit you knot
He had to dash away.
Because it had too much violins.
... it has improved my menthol arithmetic.
Dad: Sure, why knot!
A Kaiser roll
I shit you, knot.
He says "Bartender, get me a beer."
The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."
The string is pissed. He goes into the alley, twists himself up, messes up his hair, and storms back inside.
"Bartender. Get me a beer."
The bartender eyes him suspiciously. "Hey, ain't you that string I sent out earlier?"
The string shakes his head. "I'm a frayed knot."
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair and comes back.
"Aren't you the same guy from a minute ago?", the bartender asks.
"I'm a frayed knot." says the string.
I shit you knot!
They ransacked her house, car, everywhere she goes looking for clues. One would say they’re Aloe Vera.
... and those that know bass too.
They came out tied.... I shit you knot
I said to him, “Violin is not the answer.”
The rope says "Hay are you a piece of string?"
The string says "no I'm a frayed knot"
Bartender: “Hey we don’t serve strings here.”
(String walks out and ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair... the string then walks back into the bar)
Bartender: “Are you the string that was just in here?”
String: “Nope, I’m a frayed knot”
The string says to the bartender, “One beer, please.” The bartender looks at him and says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
The string goes outside, loops itself around a few times, and goes back inside. The bartender asks, “Aren’t you the guy from before?” The piece of string says, “I’m a frayed knot.”
The bartender tells him to get lost.
The string walks out and messes up his now tangled hair.
The string walks back in.
The bartender says "Aren't you the string I kicked out just a minute ago?"
The string goes, "Frayed knot".
“We don’t serve your kind round here”
“Why knot?” (1)
“You’re always causing friction” (2)
The string leaves the bar, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar.
“Ain’t you the same guy who came in a minute ago?”
“I’m a frayed knot.” (3)
Now that’s a Christmas cracker 🙌🎄
He was Haydn.
A piece of string goes to the local bar for a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here" and kicks him out. He puts on a cowboy hat and a fake moustache and tries again. The bartender sees through his disguise and kicks him out again. Dejected, he sits on the sidewalk until he gets a great idea. He ties himself into a knot and combs out one of his ends. After he enters the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out, twice?" and the piece of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
The first piece of string says it’s all about the attitude and struts into the bar. The bouncer looks at him and says, “no stings allowed” and throws him out.
The second piece of string says, “you’ve got to be sneaky” and tries to sneak in. But the bouncer sees him and says “no stings allowed” and throws him out.
The third piece of string thinks “maybe if I disguise myself”. He then ties himself into a know and frays his edge. The bouncer looks at him confused and asks, “hey, are you a string?”
The sting replies, “no, I’m a frayed knot”
I shit you knot
I think knot.
It's Tangled and Frozen.
The bartender says, "We don't your kind in here."
"Huh?" asks the string.
"I said we don't serve strings in here."
The string walks back outside. Thinking quickly, he ties himself in a knot, messes up his hair a bit, and walks back into the bar.
"Hey," says the bartender, "Aren't you that string I just kicked out of here?"
"No sir, I'm a frayed knot."
And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".
The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.
He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.
The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two... keep reading on reddit ➡
They are looking for a cereal killer.
And now my blinds are working perfectly
The string replies, “I’m a frayed knot”
I shit you knot
Because they always tie.
I shit you knot.
They always tie.
A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says we don’t serve strings here, but they sit down anyway. The bartender walks over to the table and says either he can leave, or you all can leave, I don’t care, then the bartender walks away. The string says let me see if I can make this better, and he goes up to talk to the bartender with no success. And goes back to the table. He sits there for a minute thinking. The string then ties himself into a knot, and frays his end and then go back up to the bar to get drinks for the table. The bartender looks at him skeptically, and says” aren’t you that piece of string, and the string replies”no, I’m a frayed knot”
The sun was especially hot and they became thirsty. The first string said to his friends, "I know of a good bar down the street. Let's go get a drink." The three agreed and walked together to the bar.
The bar was dark and empty, with classic country playing over a scratchy AM radio. The bartender was a worn old man with a salt and pepper hair and a bushy moustache. They sat down at the bar together, relieved to be inside from the heat.
The bartender looked up with a sullen frown, as the first string ordered three beers. He stared at them for a long second and said, "We don't serve yer kind 'ere."
The strings sat for a moment, surprised at the bartender's prejudice, but stood up and left without a word. As they walked out into the desert heat again, the second string spoke up. "Man, I'm dying out here. We gotta get a drink somewhere."
"I know of another place," the first string said, and led them to a pub down the block. The three strings were badly dehydrated and getting tired,... keep reading on reddit ➡
Don't fret its all going a-chording to plan
What’s a penguins favourite film? Frozen.
What did the penguin say to the snowman who didn’t find the first joke funny? Oh laugh!
What did the snowman kick the penguin with in retaliation? Dis knee
Why did the snowman then watch Frozen with the penguin? Nothing Elsa on TV
There’s snow more now, ice said them all.
Because violins is never the answer.
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The barman says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve string in here". The string, without saying a word, walks outside where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his hair.
When he walks back in and asks for a beer the barman says, "Aren't you the piece of string that was just in here?” "No”, he answered, "I'm afraid not".
A man gets a new job at the zoo.
On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.
"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"
The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.
After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.
Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, u... keep reading on reddit ➡
I shit you knot.
Because they’re always on the knotty list.
Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
So a piece of string walks into a pub, grabs a stool at the bar when he sees a sign that says "Strings not Allowed in this Establishment". He quickly ties himself into a knot before the bartender walks up and says "Hey!, are you a string??"
"No, I'm afraid knot"
I just hope it's not a yo-yo.
A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve strings in here." So the string walks outside and starts to roll on the floor, knotting himself up. The strings walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "can't serve you, you're still a string!" and the string says, "I'm a frayed knot"
The bartender says "we don't serve string here"
The string walks outside, ties himself up, and messes up his hair. He walks back in.
"Aren't you the string I just sent away?"
"No, I'm a fraid knot."
This morning they came out tied together. I shit you not.
By giving wood
He walked up to the counter, and asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Sorry, but we don't serve your kind here." The string replied, "Well, screw you then!" and walked out.
The next day, the string walked back in. The bartender immediately says, "Hey, I told you yesterday, I'm not going to give you a beer." So the string turned around angrily and stormed out.
Finally, the next day, the string walked back in. He then walked straight to the bathroom, and he messed around in the mirror a bit. He walked back out and to the bar, and the bartender said "Hey, aren't you that same string?"
He replied, "I'm a frayed knot."
EDIT: wrong tense
sits down and says, "I'd like to order one beer please." The bartender says with a scowl, "We don't serve...strings round here." Frustrated, and thirsty, the string exits the bar. He thinks hard, and decides to tie himself into a knot, and rustles his top, and walks back into the bar and sits down. "I'd like one beer please." Bartender says, "Hey...aren't you that string that was in here a while ago?' The string smiles and says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
3 strings are wandering in a desert. After hours of wandering they eventually find a bar. One string says to the others "hey guys stay here I'll go get us a drink". He walks into the bar and orders 3 drinks. The bartender says "sorry kid we don't allow strings here, get out of my bar". The string sadly walks out of the bar and tells his friends he couldn't get a drink. One of the other strings says "don't worry guys I got this". So he puts a sombrero and a fake mustache on and walks into the bar and orders 3 drinks. The bartender tells the disguised string "sure thing 3 drinks coming... Hey wait a minute! You're a a string aren't you? Get out of my bar!" The string obeys and rejoins his other friends. He tells them "sorry guys this bartender really doesn't like strings". Finally, the last string says to his friends "Not to worry fellas I got this, for real this time. So the strings ties himself and walks into the bar. The bartender recognizes the string and asks him "Hey you're a strin... keep reading on reddit ➡
One piece of string sits down while the other goes up to get drinks. The bartender says, "We don't serve pieces of string here." So the string goes back to its friend and tells it what the bartender said. The other piece of string grabs it, unravels it, and wraps it around itself, then heads over to the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you one of those pieces of string?" And the string says, "Nope, I'm afraid not."