If I swallow two pieces of strings, they will come out the other end tied together

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/K3VLOL99
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
A piece of string walks into a bar.

Before he sits down the bartender yells β€œHey! We don’t serve pieces of string like you!”

The piece of string goes outside, ties himself in a bow, and rolls around on the ground for a bit. Then he gets up, goes back into the bar, and sits down.

The bartender says β€œAren’t you that piece of string?” The string replies β€œNo. I’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Three strings walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here!"

They go outside and one of the strings messes up his hair and ties himself up. He walks back inside and the bartender says, "Aren't you one of those strings I just got rid of?"

The string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sup_mike
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I bought a brand-new top-of-the-line string trimmer of a guy on craigslist for only $20

it was a total Stihl

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrF4rtB4rf
πŸ“…︎ May 30
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed some string this morning... Don't believe me?

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rajdhagat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I have a great business idea but i need someone to help me. I go to the toilet and you tie up bits of string.

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ExistentialYurt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the race between two pieces of string?

It was a tie

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/game84cube
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
No strings attached, trust me
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arm3tt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bad piece of string?

Knotty

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What did Bach say when he snapped a piano string?

"Ugh, I baroque a string whilst trilling to fix my piano. Well, I guess i legato get a new one"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johna328
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
"German talent show contestants puts string of sausages up her bum" .. this performance was the wurst
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cowenpa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar...

Bartender says "Hey! You're too young to be in here! Get lost!"

The string goes outside, and to disguise himself, ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair and walks back in.

The bartender sees him and yells "Hey! Aren't you the string I just threw out of here!?"

"I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeChadley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I swallowed two strings and they came out tied together.

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bring-me-cake
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I just spent 3 hours taking apart watches and trying to string them together.

Just realised it was a waist of time

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LilPianoBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
A man went to a nightclub with a piece of string.

The bouncer said, "You can't come in. You haven't got a tie."

The man replied "Yes, I have. It's this piece of string."

The man asked the string "Are you a tie?"

The string replied "No, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B_scuit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the string of bank robberies committed by a guy dressed up like Jesus?

The cops finally nailed him.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was being very noisy attaching cross-laced string to an oval frame. I had to tell him...

Stop making that racket.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.

Frankly, I think he's a lyre.

πŸ‘︎ 218
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
A music project in the ghetto taught a lot of youngsters to play string instruments. The crime rate dropped significantly.

But now they have a lot of violins

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arthur_Decosta
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A piece of string goes into a bar

The barman says

"We don't serve your kind around here"

So the piece of string leaves, parts his hair, and comes back

The barman asks

"Aren't you the same guy from a minute ago"

"I'm a frayed knot" the piece of string states

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DanTheCEO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
A string goes into a bar. He asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender says β€œwe don’t serve string here.

So the string goes outside and waits for a while. He goes back in and sets at the bar and orders a beer. The bartender says β€œwe don’t serve string here. So, frustrated the string goes back outside and sits n the curb. Boom, he gets run over and tumbles and starts to come apart.
He goes back into the same bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks closely at him and says β€œhey aren’t you that piece of string that was just in here?” The string looks him in the eye and says β€œnope, I’m a frayed knot!”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfntx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed some string last night..

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/papa_bling
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend was creating the world's longest string of hyphens when he had a family emergency...

He had to dash away.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at hi
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the movie about string instruments in a mafia,rated r?

Because it had too much violins.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I made an abacus using polo mints and a piece of string ...

... it has improved my menthol arithmetic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Son: Dad, can you help me secure this with a string?

Dad: Sure, why knot!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/webguy1975
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when Wilhelm II makes a string of bad puns?

A Kaiser roll

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bballconnor
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday I ate two, pieces of string and they came, out tied.

I shit you, knot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/comma-horrol
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What did one musician say when the other left their strings at home?

β€œGuitar strings!”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waddupmanitsjohn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar

He says "Bartender, get me a beer."

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."

The string is pissed. He goes into the alley, twists himself up, messes up his hair, and storms back inside.

"Bartender. Get me a beer."

The bartender eyes him suspiciously. "Hey, ain't you that string I sent out earlier?"

The string shakes his head. "I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UnfunkyUfologist
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Violinist Caught After a String of Robberies
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodentman87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
A piece of string goes to a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."

The string leaves, twists himself up, parts his hair and comes back.

"Aren't you the same guy from a minute ago?", the bartender asks.

"I'm a frayed knot." says the string.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mukundan_chariar
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I swallowed two pieces of string, and later they came out tied together.

I shit you knot!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barkingrat
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The Sunburn Police found a new suspect for the recent string of crimes around town.

They ransacked her house, car, everywhere she goes looking for clues. One would say they’re Aloe Vera.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/epiczombie339
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
air guitar strings
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombieG4mer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
🚨︎ report
There are 10 types of guitarists in the world: those that can only strum a 6 string...

... and those that know bass too.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enigmastrat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I accidentally swallowed two strings

They came out tied.... I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy beating somebody up with a string instrument, so I intervened.

I said to him, β€œViolin is not the answer.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A piece of rope walks up to a piece of string

The rope says "Hay are you a piece of string?"

The string says "no I'm a frayed knot"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar...

Bartender: β€œHey we don’t serve strings here.”

(String walks out and ties himself in a loop and messes up his hair... the string then walks back into the bar)

Bartender: β€œAre you the string that was just in here?”

String: β€œNope, I’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timaaayyy
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I piece of string walks into a bar

The string says to the bartender, β€œOne beer, please.” The bartender looks at him and says, β€œWe don’t serve your kind here.”

The string goes outside, loops itself around a few times, and goes back inside. The bartender asks, β€œAren’t you the guy from before?” The piece of string says, β€œI’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManicMonocle
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar...

The bartender tells him to get lost.

The string walks out and messes up his now tangled hair.

The string walks back in.

The bartender says "Aren't you the string I kicked out just a minute ago?"

The string goes, "Frayed knot".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Godredd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar...

β€œWe don’t serve your kind round here”

β€œWhy knot?” (1)

β€œYou’re always causing friction” (2)

The string leaves the bar, twists himself up, parts his hair and walks back into the bar.

β€œAin’t you the same guy who came in a minute ago?”

β€œI’m a frayed knot.” (3)

Now that’s a Christmas cracker πŸ™ŒπŸŽ„

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kinnth
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the string quartet find their composer?

He was Haydn.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/semihemidemisemi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Thirsty string

A piece of string goes to the local bar for a drink. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here" and kicks him out. He puts on a cowboy hat and a fake moustache and tries again. The bartender sees through his disguise and kicks him out again. Dejected, he sits on the sidewalk until he gets a great idea. He ties himself into a knot and combs out one of his ends. After he enters the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you the piece of string I just kicked out, twice?" and the piece of string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sherzeg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Three pieces of string want to go into a no strings allowed bar.

The first piece of string says it’s all about the attitude and struts into the bar. The bouncer looks at him and says, β€œno stings allowed” and throws him out.

The second piece of string says, β€œyou’ve got to be sneaky” and tries to sneak in. But the bouncer sees him and says β€œno stings allowed” and throws him out.

The third piece of string thinks β€œmaybe if I disguise myself”. He then ties himself into a know and frays his edge. The bouncer looks at him confused and asks, β€œhey, are you a string?”

The sting replies, β€œno, I’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirmorganc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I can swallow two peices of string and my poop will be tied in it

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeetboy66
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
So you want to tie two pieces of string together?

I think knot.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GI_gino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I tied two Disney DVDs with strings and placed it inside the freezer.

It's Tangled and Frozen.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A string walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't your kind in here."

"Huh?" asks the string.

"I said we don't serve strings in here."

The string walks back outside. Thinking quickly, he ties himself in a knot, messes up his hair a bit, and walks back into the bar.

"Hey," says the bartender, "Aren't you that string I just kicked out of here?"

"No sir, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lawnmowerbear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone had to pull some strings for me to get into that prestigious marionette school.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_snipeypants
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A string is walking home one Friday evening after a long week at work

And so the string decides that he shall stop at his favorite Pub and treat himself to a pint before going home to the wife. But after a decent walk he arrives at the pub to find a new sign on the door that reads " No Strings Allowed".

The string becomes infuriated. "How dare they" he thinks to himself. After having been a loyal patron for 10 years he decides this injustice is not to be tolerated and comes up with a plan.

He takes a moment and steps into the back alley way to be discreet. While he is there he ties himself into a knot and frays the top. Content with his disguise he marches back around to the front, enters the bar and has a seat when requests a pint of beer.

The bartender being a little suspicious looks at him a little uneasily but just can't seem to peg what the problem is. He serves him the beer regardless while keeping a close eye on the suspicious character. A little while later the string decides that the week at work has been so long that he is deserving of two

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CannaBrained
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.

They are looking for a cereal killer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the conductor say when the string section walked in? Cello guys!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gaemboi69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't mean to brag, but I pulled a few strings...

And now my blinds are working perfectly

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
A string goes into the bar and the bartender tells him, β€œWe don’t serve your kind here” the string then leaves, twists himself up and parts his hair, coming back to the bar, the bartender then asks, β€œAren’t you the string from yesterday?”

The string replies, β€œI’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/omghibird
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I ate a ball of string yesterday

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thecurtehs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know that if you eat 2 pieces of string when you take your next dump they will be tied together

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Haas19
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do strings never win a race?

Because they always tie.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thunderdan76
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
I once ate two strings, then when I pooped, they were tied together.

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 82
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dirty-cop116
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't strings ever win a race?

They always tie.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar

A piece of string and his buddies go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says we don’t serve strings here, but they sit down anyway. The bartender walks over to the table and says either he can leave, or you all can leave, I don’t care, then the bartender walks away. The string says let me see if I can make this better, and he goes up to talk to the bartender with no success. And goes back to the table. He sits there for a minute thinking. The string then ties himself into a knot, and frays his end and then go back up to the bar to get drinks for the table. The bartender looks at him skeptically, and says” aren’t you that piece of string, and the string replies”no, I’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Three strings were walking on a hot day in Arizona...

The sun was especially hot and they became thirsty. The first string said to his friends, "I know of a good bar down the street. Let's go get a drink." The three agreed and walked together to the bar.

The bar was dark and empty, with classic country playing over a scratchy AM radio. The bartender was a worn old man with a salt and pepper hair and a bushy moustache. They sat down at the bar together, relieved to be inside from the heat.

The bartender looked up with a sullen frown, as the first string ordered three beers. He stared at them for a long second and said, "We don't serve yer kind 'ere."

The strings sat for a moment, surprised at the bartender's prejudice, but stood up and left without a word. As they walked out into the desert heat again, the second string spoke up. "Man, I'm dying out here. We gotta get a drink somewhere."

"I know of another place," the first string said, and led them to a pub down the block. The three strings were badly dehydrated and getting tired,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WildCard1791
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the guitar say to its strings when they were panicking?

Don't fret its all going a-chording to plan

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dpaje-Da-Kid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Cheep lodging- no strings attached
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/poppawheeelie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Cold joke string

What’s a penguins favourite film? Frozen.

What did the penguin say to the snowman who didn’t find the first joke funny? Oh laugh!

What did the snowman kick the penguin with in retaliation? Dis knee

Why did the snowman then watch Frozen with the penguin? Nothing Elsa on TV

There’s snow more now, ice said them all.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Can you help me with a crossword? I need another word for "Instruments in a string quartet."

Because violins is never the answer.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mad87Wallaby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2018
🚨︎ report
A piece of string walks into a bar...

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The barman says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve string in here". The string, without saying a word, walks outside where he proceeds to tie himself into knots and mess up his hair.

When he walks back in and asks for a beer the barman says, "Aren't you the piece of string that was just in here?” "No”, he answered, "I'm afraid not".

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Warcraft3_Rufus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad can string this joke out forever. I've seen it go for 20 minutes.

A man gets a new job at the zoo.

On his first day, he still doesn't really understand what exactly he's meant to do, just that it involves the Gorillas. He goes and checks in and the manager sits him down to explain.

"Now look," says the manager, "We've been having some troubles lately with our gorilla. He was acting up, getting really agitated with the environment, so we had to send him away. We told the people that enclosure's being repaired, but we're actually looking for a new gorilla - can you do it for us?"

The man is unsure, but he needs the money, so he agrees, puts on a gorilla suit and goes out there. At first he's a bit mopey, so he sits around a lot.

After a couple of days he begins to warp up and eats a couple of bananas and wanders around a little.

Over the course of the next few weeks he becomes progressively more outgoing, moving around, playing in the jungle gym, hollering around and beating his chest. He's a big hit and everything's going really well for him, u

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 661
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toggle2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2013
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My party trick is swallowing two pieces of string and an hour later they come out my arse tied together.

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Why don’t strings get any presents for Christmas?

Because they’re always on the knotty list.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nrith
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2017
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A string goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve strings here, mate". String goes out, loops itself and frazzles the bitter end. Goes back in the bar and the bartender says "Aren't you that string from a few minutes ago?"

Which came the reply "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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Can you tie a piece of string with your mind?

Thought knot...

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LukeRobson
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
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String walks into a pub and......

So a piece of string walks into a pub, grabs a stool at the bar when he sees a sign that says "Strings not Allowed in this Establishment". He quickly ties himself into a knot before the bartender walks up and says "Hey!, are you a string??"

"No, I'm afraid knot"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvadNamNav
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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This whole place is just a string of old posts

http://i.imgur.com/6WQQOEr.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ageitgey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2017
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My coworker got a fortune that said "You will receive something very nice soon with no strings attached."

I just hope it's not a yo-yo.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youngtundra777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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A string walks into a bar..

A string walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve strings in here." So the string walks outside and starts to roll on the floor, knotting himself up. The strings walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "can't serve you, you're still a string!" and the string says, "I'm a frayed knot"

πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gravitron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2013
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A piece of string walks into a bar

The bartender says "we don't serve string here"

The string walks outside, ties himself up, and messes up his hair. He walks back in.

"Aren't you the string I just sent away?"

"No, I'm a fraid knot."

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/turnburn720
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2016
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Yesterday I swallowed two pieces of string

This morning they came out tied together. I shit you not.

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditg0nad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2015
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Pinocchio can have sex with no strings attached

By giving wood

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punnycobi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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A String Walked Into A Bar

He walked up to the counter, and asked the bartender for a drink. The bartender said, "Sorry, but we don't serve your kind here." The string replied, "Well, screw you then!" and walked out.

The next day, the string walked back in. The bartender immediately says, "Hey, I told you yesterday, I'm not going to give you a beer." So the string turned around angrily and stormed out.

Finally, the next day, the string walked back in. He then walked straight to the bathroom, and he messed around in the mirror a bit. He walked back out and to the bar, and the bartender said "Hey, aren't you that same string?"

He replied, "I'm a frayed knot."

EDIT: wrong tense

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chewy01104
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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A string walks into a bar...

sits down and says, "I'd like to order one beer please." The bartender says with a scowl, "We don't serve...strings round here." Frustrated, and thirsty, the string exits the bar. He thinks hard, and decides to tie himself into a knot, and rustles his top, and walks back into the bar and sits down. "I'd like one beer please." Bartender says, "Hey...aren't you that string that was in here a while ago?' The string smiles and says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/douchiemane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2017
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3 strings...

3 strings are wandering in a desert. After hours of wandering they eventually find a bar. One string says to the others "hey guys stay here I'll go get us a drink". He walks into the bar and orders 3 drinks. The bartender says "sorry kid we don't allow strings here, get out of my bar". The string sadly walks out of the bar and tells his friends he couldn't get a drink. One of the other strings says "don't worry guys I got this". So he puts a sombrero and a fake mustache on and walks into the bar and orders 3 drinks. The bartender tells the disguised string "sure thing 3 drinks coming... Hey wait a minute! You're a a string aren't you? Get out of my bar!" The string obeys and rejoins his other friends. He tells them "sorry guys this bartender really doesn't like strings". Finally, the last string says to his friends "Not to worry fellas I got this, for real this time. So the strings ties himself and walks into the bar. The bartender recognizes the string and asks him "Hey you're a strin

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tristanator5100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
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Two pieces of string walk into a bar...

One piece of string sits down while the other goes up to get drinks. The bartender says, "We don't serve pieces of string here." So the string goes back to its friend and tells it what the bartender said. The other piece of string grabs it, unravels it, and wraps it around itself, then heads over to the bar. The bartender says, "Hey, aren't you one of those pieces of string?" And the string says, "Nope, I'm afraid not."

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teslalight
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2014
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Somebody put a dollar in my g-string ipfs.pics/QmUT4Krfc42tS6m…
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dachewie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2015
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What are those weird string instruments called? twitter.com/MrPresidentTo…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twin802
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2016
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I accidentally swallowed some string last night

I shit you knot

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
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