The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jackaldo7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11
🚨︎ report
Two British monks set up a small snack stand at the parish fair.

They divided the duties equally: one was the fish friar, and the other was

the chip monk!

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/franksymptoms
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
A pumpkin spiced latte joke should contain the set up, followed by the punchline and

Cost about $4.50

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/junior_bqx2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26
🚨︎ report
A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
My 15 year old told me he set up an IRA account. I said β€œAre you kidding me?”

He said β€œNo, I’m adulting you.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendaryBroku
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04
🚨︎ report
The set up sucks but I thought it was pretty smart

A man makes an outline of a duck and cuts it out. An egg falls right in the middle. Now he has an egg in stencil crisis

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nojuicing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend and I bought a new mattress. When we got home and set it up, we were unsure about whether or not it would be comfortable enough.

She said, β€œLet’s sleep on it.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeniedScout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28
🚨︎ report
This son of a bitch got me. Can't be mad though; I set him up and did even realize it.
πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/toasty-toes
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
Couldn’t ask for a better set up
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I had my cornfield all set up to sell in 2 acre units when my realtor suddenly brought me plans for acre units.

He was plotting against me!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who invented a more efficient way to set up the high jump and pole vault?

He raised the bar.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trimofdoom
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went after it set.

finally it dawned on me.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thetallestwizard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
A comedian would do a set, each show, where he sprinted to either side of the stage with his mouth tied up.

It was a running gag.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Peteman22
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up fee was $1000 dollars.

I said, β€œThat’s outrageous!”

He just shrugged and said, β€œThat’s inflation for you.”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you set up a space party?

You planet!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rj17141
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
Wanted to share a funny Dad joke my wife perfectly set up for me, today.

My wife and I were visiting Bass Pro Shop today and I noticed there were some ducks in the pond outside of the building. I pointed them out to my wife who, upon noticing them bobbing up and down in the water, asked me what they were doing. Without missing a beat I replied "They're Ducking."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uglarinn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
Tree: Hey, Boulder, what do you think I should be when I grow up? Boulder: You would make a wonderful bedroom furniture set.

Tree: Yes. Yes I wood. Thanks Boulder, you rock.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baconaboot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
So if I set up touch ID on my phone for the same finger on both hands

Does it make it ambitextrous?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aesterian
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
If you want to set up a company and run it then

that's your business.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was 10 my Mom told me to take my brother to a movie so she could set up for his surprise birthday party.

That was when I realized he was her favorite twin, not me.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
🚨︎ report
A friend and I went into business selling chess sets. During Christmas, we have to both work and ring people up at the register...

She's my check mate.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My buddy set me up on a blind date

He told me, "Heads up, she's expecting a baby". Well let me tell you, I felt stupid sitting there in the bar wearing just a diaper.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
After playing our set at the local block party, a group of kids walked up to the stage and the leader laughed, "You rock pretty good for a buncha ole geezers, but why the heck did you name your band, 'Bald Patch'!?" I shrugged and said...

"To be honest, it was off the top of my head."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.

I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanted to set up a bar inside of a cave but the police denied me access to

They said it was illegal to give alcohol to miners

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonotoneYay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Sets up the β€˜pun’ch line
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My mate set me up on a blind date and he said, "I'd better warn you, she's expecting a baby."

I felt like such an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a nappy...

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm going to help set up a new network tonight at work.

Tonight we're gonna' party like it's VLAN 99.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
A Library-themed D&D session with the following set-ups: reddit.com/r/pun/comments…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dracon_Pyrothayan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I set up my thumbprint to unlock my phone

It doesn't work all the time though, I just can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My chemistry set blew up...

I guess oxidants do happen!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss set me up with a perfect dad joke.

He told us his little son (1 year old) had a great big poo in his toybox and there's shit all over the abacus.

"Bet you didn't count on that!" said I, proudly!

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordJimsicle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
🚨︎ report
I went out on a hike with my friend and right when we set up we saw the heaviest downpour we had ever seen.

It was intense, just like how we were camping.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CthuluOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
There were a couple of miners make their way to SF. They set up camp for the night underneath a giant half dome. One of the miners was going to make coffee. He ask if anyone else wanted something to drink

Someone yelled back from the other side of camp. β€œYO SEND ME TEA.!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandyHoey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I wrote an entire short song to set up a pun soundcloud.com/teuast/hil…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My 10 year old son's science test set me up for the perfect Dad Joke.

Me: How did you do on the muscles and bones test?

Son: I mixed up the cranium and the skull.

Me: That was a boneheaded mistake.

Son: (Sarcastic) Ha ha.

I guess he didn't find my joke humerus.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time I try to set up my tripod, it keeps falling down

I can't stand it anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
my boss loves to set me up to say the punchline of a great dad-joke

I love my boss... every few months, my boss and i find ourselves in the break room with a couple other people. He will take a sip of his freshly-poured coffee and loudly say, "ugh, this coffee tastes like MUD" ... and then he looks at me expectantly ... and I dutifully reply "that's because it was just GROUND this morning." The other people within earshot hate us when they realize they have been tag-team dad-joked

πŸ‘︎ 981
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xRVAx
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
🚨︎ report
My wife gave me the perfect set-up on early AM flight.

We were both pretty tired since we woke up at 3AM. When we get to our seats, I pulled out my e-reader. My wife looks at me and says "How can you read?"

"Well, I guess I would have to thank my parents for teaching me when I was a kid..."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/declanrowan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
🚨︎ report
Set myself up for a Dad joke and it paid off

Yesterday while cleaning the kitchen and throwing out old stuff from the freezer, I put a set of coupons for Harvey's restaurant in there.

This morning I got up and they were on top of the fridge. I asked my wife if she'd removed them and she said she thought they fell in there by accident.

"No," I said, "I didn't want them to expire."

πŸ‘︎ 476
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GringoDeMaio
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2017
🚨︎ report
I set up a meeting for men having trouble to perform in bed

Noone came

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
When I set up my living room surround sound I decided to hire a sound technician

over a mediocre one

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sukarsono
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I've been set up!

Why was the painting sad that it got sent to jail? Because it was framed.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HerChewieBear
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Michael Myers set up his Christmas tree?

He focused too much on his stalking

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AxXB1ZXxB
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife set me up perfectly

Last night while we were out running errands, we drove by this place that had a bunch of little storage sheds on display outside. Right next to this business was a karate school.

My wife says, "Why would the karate school have all of those sheds in front of it?"

I respond, "Honey, those sheds are square. If they belonged to the karate school, they would be round-houses."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capomatt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively.

It was his Frodo-Booth.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheScarletSho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report

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