Let the rope puns rule!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
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A rope walks into a bar...

The bartender says to him, β€œWe don’t serve rope here; you’ll have to leave.”

So the rope goes back outside and ducks around the corner. He ties himself up, dishevels the strands on his head, and walks back into the bar.

Despite his new look, the bartender instantly recognizes him. β€œWhat did I tell you? We don’t serve rope here!”

And the rope replies, β€œA rope?! I’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HiFiGuy197
πŸ“…︎ May 21
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A tightrope is a tight rope

You’d know if you understood tautology.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMarginalFarmCO
πŸ“…︎ May 20
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Two fishermen were having a contest to see who could make the most knots with a length of rope

In the end they tied

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riizus
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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I tried skipping rope. But I ended up being tied up.

That was knot my intention.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepOrderDis
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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The guy at the hardware store tried to sell me a 500 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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A length of rope walks into a bar and orders two shots...

the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they don’t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, β€œ Hey...aren’t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?”. The rope looks at him confused and says, β€œ No, I’m a frayed knot”.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5YearApril
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
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What did the nice rope get for XMAS?

Everything it wished for, it wasn't knotty.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_hardeeharhar_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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If you’re teaching a new plumber the ropes of the trade you’re technically…

Potty training

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RICKDOGG424
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.

I sheet you knot

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/generiatric123
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together

but I’m knot

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bagelfaceass
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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What do you call a rope that insults you?

Discord

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I pooped out a rope!!!

I sh*t you knot!!!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Do you know the name of braided old rope?

Frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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A piece of rope walks in to a bar

Rope: One beer, please.

Bartender: We don’t serve rope here.

Rope:walks outside and thinks

Rope:gets an idea, gets excited & messes up its hair

Rope:walks back in to the bar

Rope: One beer, please.

Bartender: Aren’t you that rope I just refused to serve. Rope: Nope, I’m a frayed knot.

Edit: Formatting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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I eat tangled rope.

I shit you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richy923
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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I ducked under the rope
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notnickyc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Man had the courage to come into my office and ask what the bucket, the rope, and the pipes were for...

Well, well, well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What’s a ropes favorite food?

Tie food

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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A piece of rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender replies, "I'm sorry, but you're a rope. I can't serve you, and I'm not even sure how I could. Please leave."

A short time later, the rope comes back into the bar and asks for a beer.

The bartender, a bit annoyed at the situation, says, "Look, I told you I can't serve you. Just go away."

A few hours later, the rope comes back in again.

The bartender is getting mad now. "Look, I told you twice that I can't serve alcohol to a rope! Now get out and STAY OUT!"

Dejectedly, the rope leaves the bar and sits at the curb until a gentleman passes by. Suddenly, the piece of rope has an idea.

"Excuse me", says the rope, "but could you do me a favor?"

"Um... me?" says the puzzled gentleman. "Uh... I guess so..."

"Great! I just need you to tie a big ol' knot right in my middle."

"Well," says the gentleman. "I just so happens I was a former Eagle Scout. Here you go," and ties a perfect knot in the rope. "Will that be all?"

The rope pauses for a second and says, "Actually, could you pull apart my ends and unravel them for a bit?"

The gentleman obliges and goes on his merry way. The piece of rope, satisfied at its new appearance, heads back into the bar.

Furious, the bartender shouts, "HEY! Aren't you that same piece of rope I kicked out three times already?!?"

"No, I'm a frayed knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/usernameshortage
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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(I made this one myself) what do you call two men boxing on a tight rope

Punchline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trumpigator38
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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I bought a rope made out of dog hair but took it back

It was too ruff

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I would tell a joke about how to use rope...

but it is knot that funny.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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The metal hooks tied to my rope broke.

I'm having a hard time grappling with this.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evrant
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.

easier to get a head

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aexolthum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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What if tesla was a rope making company ?

Its founder would be Elon Husk.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SVT85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
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I tried to jump rope to lose weight

But I always end up skipping it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmpireStrikes1st
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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I was going to jump rope for exercise this am

But I ended up skipping it

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaftdriven73
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Ropes were invented by boat companies to raise sails
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeaboy123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
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Son, can you tie this rope into loops while I go to the bathroom?

I shit, you knot.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RevanAndTheSithy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Why did the torn rope refuse to go to the dark cabin

He was A-frayed

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PopeNeia062
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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My annoying coworker asked, "Can I tell you my favorite rope tie?"

I said, "Kenyan knot?"

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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I was walking through a rope store.

All the ropes i saw were boring until i saw one that took my breath away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NamelessMarkus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
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Why Couldn't the Rope Answer the Phone?

Because it was all tied up!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Konkest_Dong
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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I'm thinking of starting a rope tying business

It would be a knot for profit organization.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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A rope walks into a bar...

he sits down and orders a drink. the bartender says, "I'm sorry. we don't serve ropes at this establishment". The rope shrugs it off and leaves. The next day, the rope thought to himself, maybe it was just the one bartender who was a jerk. I'll go back and try again. He walks into the bar, see's a new bartender, and sits down to order a drink. Alas, this new bartender says, "we don't serve ropes at this bar". The rope is getting pretty heated at this point. He storms out of the bar, ruffles his ends, gets himself all twisted up, marches right back in, and demands a drink. The bartender responds, "aren't you that rope I just kicked out?" the rope responds, "no, I'm a frayed knot"

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1_h473_l337_5p34k
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
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A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, β€œGet out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.

The bartender says, β€œHey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, β€œNo. I’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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A rope walks into a bar

A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender scowls and says β€œWe don’t serve ropes in here!”

The rope stares back and says β€œI’m not a rope!”

Flabbergasted the bartender says β€œYou’re not?!”

To which the rope replies β€œNo, I’m a frayed knot”

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadDentalWork
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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I have a joke about ropes

But its knot very good

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rozsaszin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!

Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalseBlood8746
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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The hardware store guy offered to sell me a 50 ft spool of rope for $2, but I refused.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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A piece of rope walks into a bar

He asks for a drink, and the bartender responds sorry but we don't serve your kind here. So he calmly walks back outside, ruffles out the top of his head and turns himself around and over then walks back inside and back to the bartender. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and says, aren't you the rope that was just in here a second ago? To which he says no, I'm a frayed knot.

πŸ‘︎ 342
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πŸ‘€︎ u/welfarewonders
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
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So, a rope enters a bar...

Goes with the bartender and says

>"Give me your best beer!"

but the bartender replies

>"Sorry, but we give no service to ropes, please leave this place"

so the rope leaves, and decides to knot itself to be a totally different being.

So the rope goes back with the bartender, and the bartender says

>"Aren't you the rope i just kicked out of here?"

and the rope says:

>"I'm a frayed knott"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squidboy2002
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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The hardware store was selling a 50 ft. rope for $2, but I decided to pass.

I hate long good buys.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œNo, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, β€œOf course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”

And the rope replies, β€œI’m a frayed knot.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allyyx3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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A piece of rope walks into a bar .....

...... and asks for a beer.

Bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."

So the rope walks outside and asks the first guy he sees to tie him in a knot and split his ends.

As he walked back into the bar the bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope I just sent out of here?"

The rope smiles and says, "No. I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_MCH
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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A piece of rope walks into a bar...

The barman takes one look at him and says "Get out! We don't serve your type here."

The rope leaves, messes up his hair and tangles himself up a bit, then walks back into the bar.

The barman looks at him suspiciously and asks "Hey. Aren't you that piece of rope I just kicked out?"

The rope replies "No. I'm a frayed knot."

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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