just came across this pun thread from an eternity ago, seriously,, it was worth Peru-sing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Found on an Apple thread
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoSatellite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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From an ask reddit thread imgur.com/MEZJ4R0
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pricers
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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In the thread of an AskReddit, they're talking about pennies.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnySwo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
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Found on an /r/AskReddit thread
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bazmox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Saw this in an askreddit thread
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockHardRetard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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/u/gmorales87 has an amazing dad joke in the askreddit thread about secrets of the airline industries!
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2013
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Was having an epic pun thread before my friend gave it a go...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punoriginality
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2012
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u/Iowa25 just made an incredible pun on this thread. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. reddit.com/r/movies/comme…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/603g
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2015
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Dad joke found in an Askreddit thread regarding contracting herpes.

Well it started out as herpes. Guess it's ourpes now.

Creds to /u/straydog1980 for making my day.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Dad joke in an AskReddit thread
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dameski
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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Found a dad joke in an /r/hypotheticalsituations thread

http://www.reddit.com/r/hypotheticalsituation/comments/2bn3hj/people_can_only_say_100_words_per_day/cja8x0v

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davester123
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2014
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Time flies like an arrow,

Fruit flies like a banana.

From an Askreddit thread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iiKinqTornado
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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My dad at my Grandmother's Funeral

My grandmother was cremated and we were having a service to pay our respects. I was scared and didn't want to go up to the altar alone so my dad went with me.

We stood there, side by side, and stared in reverent silence at the small simple wooden box which was holding my grandmother's ashes. After a minute or so passed my father bowed slightly, leaning in with what I assumed would be words of wisdom and said, "your grandmother was a lot smaller than I remember."

I had to fight just not to bust out laughing in a room full of mourners.

I was told to cross post this here from an askreddit thread yesterday

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2014
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[MOD POST] Hunting for an additional moderator. Read and apply within.

EDIT: I am now closing applications and will make a decision in the next day or so. Thank you to everybody who applied - the general enthusiasm and support is wonderful to see.

( as this is a self post, I receive no karma - however I would appreciate it if you upvoted purely for visibility <3 )

Hey everybody,

The /r/dadjokes community is now over 85,000 subscribers strong. That's pretty great. Pretty super great.

Thus far, over the entire existence of this sub, I have been the only mod. Quietly watching, taking your feedback, removing a post here, approving another there - doing my best not to interfere too much. I'm going to be honest, it hasn't been that hard.

You lot are generally a pretty nice bunch, give or take a few of the more vocal lunatics. There isn't usually a lot of work to be done, or issues that need resolving.

That said, I'm not awake all the time. I can't lurk on Reddit all the time. I don't have all-seeing eyes.

So it's about time I gave another pair of eyes moderator status and entrusted those eyes with a duty of care.

Let's get down to the chase; here's what I'm looking for in an additional mod:

  • You live in a very different timezone to Syd, AU - GMT+10
  • You have a good sense of humour
  • You're not in this purely to grow your 'net rep
  • You're interested in being fair, and maintaining fairness
  • You maintain civility in yourself and your responses at all times
  • You have a bit of time every day to go through reports, spam, and post comments
  • You understand that your moderatorship will initially be a trial, and can be revoked at any time if you aren't being magical and rad
  • Some general CSS/subreddit formatting knowledge wouldn't go astray, but is not required

Here's what I am not looking for:

  • Strong, cemented opinions about what constitutes a dad joke and what doesn't - everybody's dad and humour is different
  • An overzealous post remover - I am not looking for an enforcer, the title moderator implies moderation
  • A(nother) dictator - it is my preference that this subreddit be gently guided, and not forcibly ruled, we let the community find itself and we listen to what they say

If you wish to apply for the title and duty of being a moderator to /r/dadjokes, simply state your case (why you should be selected, what benefits or experience you bring, etc) in a comment reply to this thread. I will then get in touch with the most worthy seeming applicants. Upvotes and downvites will not be taken int

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tali3sin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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Else

Whenever someone delivers an ultimatum and says "or else" - just visit this thread to choose "else" as your option.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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In my family, we like to ridicule whoever gets the fewest amount of gifts at Christmas.

(This is a true story.)

Usually this is my Dad. My Mom will be opening presents all day, and Dad is done after he unwraps his three gifts.

We really give him a hard time and he loves it. He's a champ.

Well one year, we're opening gifts, and my brother's got almost nothing in his little pile. He had recently bought a house and his main gift was a garden hose.

This is exciting because we're gonna just tear into him. He is a good sport and he is ready to bask in the glory of his Christmas failure.

We finish the unwrapping and my Dad looks over to him and says "Well son, you really got hosed this year".

P.S. I am x-posting my own comment from an AskReddit thread at someone's suggestion, and definitely NOT in a shameless quest for karma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbenz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Hi Hungry, it's Dad. I have an important update for you.

Starting on the 1st of December and running until the 10th, /r/dadjokes will be self-post only. This 10 day trial is being conducted to measure the overall effect on post quality. We hope to see a reduction in posts that exist purely for karma-gaming, and an increase in posts that represent our favourite dad jokes and stories.

This is not a ban on images. You may still link to pictures within your self-post - but you will no longer receive karma for doing so. Also as a suggestion try and be witty about it, don't just post pictures as the only content in the post. If there is a story behind it (involving your dad or anyones dad) then give that more of a preference and use the picture as a supporting arm for the joke, remember to be nice and the punnier the better.

As always, we're open to hearing your thoughts on the matter - and this thread will be stickied for the 10 days so that you can pop in and let us know how you feel the trial is going.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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Ice Cream Dad Joke

I know that these have to be self posts but I couldn't resist sharing this gem I found in an ask reddit thread Imgur

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrugReeference
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2015
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My toddler asked for Life cereal

I obliged and poured a bowl and set it in front of her.

Toddler: "NO! I don't want the square cereal!"

Me: "too bad, that's life."

(Posted this once before in an ask Reddit thread about dad jokes, but felt I should share it here as well.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbarron81
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2016
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Flame wars and Trolls

I have come to the conclusion that the reason for trolls causing flame wars is a direct result of Dungeons and Dragons.

See, in dungeons and Dragons, the only way to kill a troll is with fire and acid. So when a troll enters a forum thread, the flame war that erupts is an attempt to kill the troll with fire.

I suppose an acid war could also erupt, but those who would use acid seem too stoned to care.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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Whale watching...

So mom and dad have my wife and my kid along with my sister's kid out whale watching and sent us a photo of orcas they saw. This followed...

Me: killer view!
Siss: killer view!
Me: are you thinking the same as me OR CAn you not think of anything unique and are copying me on porpoise
Me: I mean I’m having a whale of a time
Me: Did you FINish?
Me: Does your boat have a motor anD/OR SAIL?
Mom (probably dad's joke tho): You are on a roll
Me: Not sure I have many lines left actually
Me: Actually I’m beginning to waver on that statement
Me: Though it seems siss has bowed out of the conversation.
Me: Maybe she’ll come up with something after I’m done
Me: have you guys SEAn (sic) anything other than orcas?
Mom: Humpback
Me: good day for that!
Wife: Very cool!
Me: Definitely looks chilly
Wife: 20 texts... Wow
Me: Definitely an imPORTant thread to watch
Me: like how i cap-size my text to make the joke obvious?
Me: siss’ silence is fishy tho
Mom: You definitely LANDed them
Me: They just come to me and I let em sail
Me: To admit some are a bit ridockulous
Me: Which can make them tough to catch
Me: but I’ll keep tossing them out there anyway for the few that land
Me: I think we lost the point of the conversation though
Me: Let's coral it back
Me: I'm being far too shellfish by uslurping it like this
Me: But Siss did have the gull to keep repeating me
Me: Buoy that one was bad

edit: formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabeanzelini
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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Chicken Wings

In response to /u/rsocfan getting Reddit banned in Russia, the following conversation ensued:

> This is an impressive mark to have left on history. I mean, some people cause 48-car pileups on the high way, you get an entire site blocked from an entire country.

> I make chicken wings all day.

-/u/backstagecoffee

>chicken wings

> Your contribution is also important. How else would chickens fly?

-/u/stovenn

Link to the thread containing /u/stovenn's joke

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
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My dad's favorite.

A piece of string walks into a bar, the bartender looks at him and says "Sorry, we don't serve string around here" so the piece of string walks on. The string sitting on the sidewalk really thirsty jumps up and says "Hey! I've got an idea." so he starts twisting turning wriggling around pull out a few loose threads and walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously and says "Hey, aren't you that piece of string that walked in here a few minutes ago?" The string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jedijeo99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2013
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Dinner discussion took a turn today...

My family was discussing the pros and cons of flavoured water nutritional value

[Mom]: So what is sodium?

[Bro]: Its a salt.

[Dad]: No, that's when a bad guy beats up an old lady.

stunned silence as me and Dad roar with laughter.

Took mom and bro 5 mins to get the joke.... I'm on this thread too much.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NuclearGlider
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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