The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...

Solid, liquid and gas

πŸ‘︎ 403
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brundonius
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.

β€œNoah walked out onto the ark and saw....”

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/watzit_t00ya
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What state has the smallest drinks ?

Mini-soda

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigLittlePenis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
I heard a kangaroo can jump higher than the Empire State building.

Actually, they all can. Buildings don't jump at all.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/femifoodie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
What's the most sexist US state?

Mennesota!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.

He's plotting a coo

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
🚨︎ report
What's a state where the men don't know anything?

I don't know Alaska.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afrojap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the depressive state of US?

It's a Missouri

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iruny
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
The Secretary of State will be Biden's first confirmed Cabinet member.

After all, the Republicans can't say no to A. Blinken!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What state in the US speaks Japanese?

Ohio

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redzzdelady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
If DC, Puerto Rico, and Guam became states, the US would be truly indivisible

Since 53 states is a prime number

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
A state trooper pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway

Glancing at the car he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting

The trooper crank down his window and yelled to the driver β€œpull over”

β€œNo!” yelled the woman β€œit’s a cardigan”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the only American State that has ever been married?

Mrs. Ippi.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rabid_Badger_83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know the top 15 states to live in?

Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ttynny20
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
When I play battleship I like to arrange my ships in the shape of states...

Michigan

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RontaukMonster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the best American state to go sunbathing?

MonTANa

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hethondje
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m such a state! What will Della wear to the picnic? And who else will be there? What will we do?

I think Texas coming. What will Delaware? I don’t know, Alaska! Iowa thanks to you for bringing this up! Maybe we can play some Tennessee? Indiana just don’t think we’ll know what to expect. Like last time, we don’t know Michigan.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leehawkins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
You would think that the state that is most popular for Casino's and lucrative businesses...

...would be better at counting

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dantr1x
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
At which US state did the great depression start?

Missouri.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/severelampwatcher
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just found out that Mercedes is donating state of the art street sweepers to some of the largest cities around the world to help fight littering.

They’re calling it Mercedes-clenz

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmanzero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What State Has The Most Streets?

Rhode Island

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetableSalad420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The United States Postal Service got jokes
πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GreenLeafGreg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If I ever need to know what state Juneau is the capital of

Allaskya

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The Three States of Metal Gear.
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DEMSH00T3R
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A physicist sees a man about to jump off of the Empire State Building...

He yells,” Don’t do it, you have too much potential”

πŸ‘︎ 148
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCVeteran69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my daughter which state she likes most in the USA, but she didn't answer!

It's ok, Alaska again later.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gitrikt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Which US state does all the horse hair come from?

Maine.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the state of the pandemic I decided to move to my house boat for a while

I'm boating absentee

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sycliantableigit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Who married the state of Mississippi?

Misterssippi

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PhatboiSlim419
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Which state has the smallest sodas?

Mini-Sota!

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smallMAN644
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thejohnblog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the state of quarantine i wont be posting regular jokes

Itll be only inside jokes from now

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CornLuck
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, I can't seem to spell the sovereign state in central Europe.

Dad: "That's because you have Spellczech turned off"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom

One word

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a dream where I was a wharf accused by the state of committing a crime...

I had a right to trial with a jury of my piers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The state of this sub is atrocious!

Why the hell is the mayo on the outside!?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WoozyDragon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...

The were The Ruff Riders.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The police arrested water because it was wanted in three states

Gas, liquid, and solid

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cvzmir
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
What is the only state mentioned in the bible? Arkansas.

Noah looked out of the ark and saw two doves.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Enofile
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?

Of course it can! A building can’t jump at all!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GoodChadAndUgly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Which state has the most streets?

Rhode Island.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What state has the smallest drinks?

Mini-Soda.

(From my seven-year-old.)

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rossumcapek
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.