Why is the letter A like a flower?
Because a “b” comes after it!
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
A duck wants into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist: “I’d like some chapstick”
The pharmacist says “but you’re a duck, how are you going to pay for that?”
The duck says “it’s fine, just put it on my bill”
“So what’s it like living in the mountains?”
It’s got it’s ups and downs
The comments is full of puns like this one
The man who invented the revolving table was probably like:
"This is going to revolutionize tables forever!"
Bread is like the Sun
Rises in the yeast, sets in the waist.
I like the idea of podiums
They're a product I can really get behind
I'd like to meet the dentist that would handle this
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Feel like this is the appropriate place for me to post this
So two wind turbines are standing in a field when one asks the other ‘what kind of music do you like?’
The second replies ‘I’m a big metal fan’
Courtesy of my 10 year old!
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
If you have trouble believing someone is telling the truth or not; ask them if they like big butts
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
My mother always told me I look more like her from the waste up, but took after my father from the waste down...
... because I'm a smart a**
Looks like one of the guys left
Two giant windmills are out on a hilltop. One turns to the other and asks, "what kind of music do you like? "
The other one says, "I'm a really big metal fan."
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
My buddy was promoted to quality inspector for the Canada Goose Jacket Company. He doesn't like it very much though...
...lately, he's been feeling down.
I feel like the stress of the pandemic has really aged me...
...I look at least a year older.
Women are like the ocean. Vast,deep, and beautiful...
And once a month... It’s shark week.
People who name their dogs; Bailey, Brandy, Sherry, Jameson, Hooch or other names of the likes..
Are far more likely to have licker problems
I like to lecture about the Cetacean Species by removing whales and dolphins from the equation.
I went to donate blood and the clinician asked, ‘Would you like to lay down?’
I told them I was inclined to it.
From my 10 year old son: Why did the coffee taste like dirt?
Someone likes being the center of attention.
People might like the idea of driving a transparent car, but I don’t.
I know I have a terrible stutter, but I would like to introduce you to the lady who cuts my hair
This is Ba ba ba ba barber Anne.
If Queen Elizabeth farts during dinner, the other guests are supposed to pretend like nothing happened.
Noble gases have no reaction.
Heard y’all like puns (flies were found dead, butter was found at the grocery store in the dairy isle)
What do you call someone who likes Easter but doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny?
I like the name Frodo,
It really has a ring to it.
Did you know that the people of Dubai do not like The Flinstones...
But the people of Abu Dhabi Do!
I don’t like spelling the word “definitely”
I always end up spelling it defiantly
I don’t really like the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz,
I think he’s a poorly thought character
I feel like it’s made worse by the fact that it’s an Undertale remix
Which female rapper likes honey the most?
My wife uses nasal spray a lot, to the point we think she is addicted to it. I tried to send her to rehab, but she didn't like it.
She said it was just a bunch of stuffy people.
I've always wanted to be the US President like my dad
He too always wanted to be the US President
How do the members of Blink-182 like to eat their hummus?
With naan-naan naan-naan naan-naan naan-naan-naan-naan!
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
Bread is like the sun.
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
How is bread like the sun?
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
Brewing beer is like the sun....
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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