My girlfriend said, "I adore you."

So I responded, "I agate you."

She was confused, and after a pause she goes, "I don't get it..."

"A gate is bigger than a door, babe."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlausFenrir
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2015
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I made a bear-y adorable pin badge <3 v.redd.it/z9vizkn75hv51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/outrunbun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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When I go for a walk with my best friend, he can’t help but stop and pet every animal he sees. He just thinks they’re so adorable!

He has awwtism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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Why is a beautiful woman like a hinge?

Because she is something to adore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Adorable
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arpan8
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2018
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I think it's TIME to bring back cat memes. They're just too adorable! Fluffers forever!
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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What do you call an adorable angle?

Acute angle

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPoon23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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A piece I just finished working on, hope you all like it :)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cupcake_serenity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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text
πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EpicCrab134
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg! :)

(Sorry if this isn't as funny as the other jokes here! I just can't help but crack a smile when I hear this one. It's so cheesey and adorable to me! So I figured I'd try and share it with you all! Have a nice day!)

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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This is adorable.
πŸ‘︎ 304
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2016
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My 2.5 year old told his first dad joke.

While traveling to a cookout at my dads house, my wife (W) was working through the alphabet with my son (s)

Letter β€œI”: W: β€œ I is for..... iguana” S: β€œiguana.... iguana go outside.” W: looks at me. I look at him. S: (in his best dad style, cheesy laugh) β€œha, ha.”

He had no idea what he said. But gosh we got a kick out of it.

πŸ‘︎ 164
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imahntr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N-Slash
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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- Man, it’s too hot!
  • I think I need a ceiling fan...

  • Well I absolutely adore your plasterboard!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deviantfarm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Youre cute
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/withmoxie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.

The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zephyrcoco
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Baby Corvidae

Grandma and I have been learning that the ravens and crows here in the Rocky Mountains are from the family "Corvidae." So, as their babies took flight for the first time today, we decided that the sky is filled with flying "Corvettes." They are adorable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpasticArdvaark
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeltaEks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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What do you call a male cow wearing a pink shirt, orange shorts, and a purple backpack?

Adorable

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I know that we've promised you a car, but we know what you really want."

He leads him outside, to a brand new tractor with a bow on it, saying that this is his welcome to adulthood.

Tom is beyond excited, and spends the next few months going everywhere in his tractor - grocery trips, bars, classes, friends' houses.....

Again, a few years later, Tom is driving down a back country road, in the middle of nowhere, with his tractor, in the middle of a storm. The tractor breaks down, and with no air conditioning or any form of modern comforts, Tom is in a miserable mood until someone finally comes past for him to flag down for help. After this, Tom realises that although tractors are fun, maybe they're not the best transport method out there.

Tom ages through a few more years, and finds himself driving down another road in the middle of nowhere in his car, and sees a house on fire just off the road. Being a good samaritan, he pulls over and heads up the driveway to a woman running out of the house screaming "Please, help, help! My baby is trapped in there! Go and call 911, please!"

Tom turns around, then, before leaving, has a brainwave.

He turns back and walks towards the flames, saying "Don't worry, ma'am, I've got this."

He takes a deep breath in, and the fire disappears into nothingness. As you'd expect, the woman is in awe, and asks, "Oh my God, how did you do that?!"

Tom simply responds, "Well you see ma'am, I'm an extractor fan."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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What car part is considered romantic in the French language?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Igrotzny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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Voldemort is Basically a Teenage Girl

He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WqrriorCow
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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What's the deal with a door and a bell?

On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I’ve got them too
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ritish_j
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender β€œI’ll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you”. β€œSure thing” the bartender replies and asks β€œbut what’s with the big pause?

”

The panda holds up his hands and says β€œI was born with them”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Figure this one out, get a compliment!
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
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My wife dragged me to a dance recital.

Me: I hope there is a lot of ado.

Wife: Huh?

MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado....

Me: Shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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My 3yr Old Daughter Has Good Dad Joke Instincts

We are hanging out and I'm asking her silly questions.

I asked, "Does a horse say "meow"?" She quickly responded with a big smile... "Nay!"

I'm a proud poppa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1dolla2dolla
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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So this might have been posted before but...

A boy was in love with a girl. Madly in love. He told his older brother, who suggested he ask her to the upcoming prom. So, that night, he went to her house with some flowers and chocolates and asked the girl to the prom.

She was overjoyed. She took the flowers and hugged him around the neck. When he went home, his brother told him he had to get ready. Prom was in only a week!

The next day, he traveled to a suit store. He picked out the perfect one. It would go perfectly with his date’s dress. He picked his up and went to check out. Unfortunately, it seems a lot of people were buying suits, as the line nearly went out of the store. He groaned, but anything for his love. After two long hours, he finally got his suit.

A couple days later, his brother suggested that he rent a limo. He and his brother went to rent one that evening. When they arrived, they discovered that there were nearly 50 people waiting to rent a vehicle. They waited for nearly three hours, but they were finally able to rent a limo for the big day.

The afternoon before the dance, he went to buy some flowers for his date. Unfortunately, the store seemed to be having a sale, and the checkout lines extended into the parking lot. He stomped his foot. β€œWhy is it that every time I go to buy something, everyone else wants to buy it too?!” He begrudgingly waited for nearly four hour before walking out with a bouquet of roses.

That night, he rode in the limo to his date’s house. She got in, and they talked the entire trip. He presented her with the flowers, which she adored. Her dress was stunning, and went perfectly with his suit.

They arrived at the school and got out, arms linked. They walked inside, said hi to a couple of friends, and began dancing and enjoying the night.

About halfway through the dance, the boy was parched. He told his girl that he was going to get a drink. He walked over to the snack table and discovered that there was no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohihatethesepants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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My nickname for my wife is β€œhinge.

Because she is something to adore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scorchedgoat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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When one door closes, another opens

I simply adore this proverb.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnderLaax
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2017
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How did the locksmith feel about his job?

He adored it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WLThrasher
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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My daughter got me the other night. I was proud beyond belief.

My 3 yr old daughter was about to much down on a burrito and I said wait, eat this end first (because it was open on that end) and she looked at me and said, no, I don't want to eat the end, I want to eat the beginning.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShaftEEE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
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Dad holds baby son.

Baby laughs and starts to coo.

β€œHai ku, I am dad.”

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigjuicymelons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
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My Girlfriend is the best...

She has beautiful long black hair, flowing half way down her back...

Not on her head but half way down her back.

Her teeth are so even!

1, 3, 5, and 7 are missing.

At night I would take her into the corn field and kiss her between the ears...

One night it was extremely foggy outside and I mist.

Basically, you could tell she was a farmers daughter because it was hard to "a tractor"

Sometimes I call her (knob) because she is one to adore.

Even wrote her a song entitled "How can I love you if you never go away"

The best...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wicked-Spade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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I just repainted the front entrance and it looks so much nicer

It's adorable

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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My 4 y.o. was eating a bit of mayonnaise that fell out of her sandwich ...

... and she goes "Dad, this is mayonazing!".

I couldn't be more proud :]

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dannyk6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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"I'm just kidding!" hehehe

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aliasad1122
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2018
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I put my dead wife's ashes in the entrance

She will always be adored

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Need your help naming my cat!

Hi pun-masters!

I will share my life with a cat, starting Saturday! It’s a grey\white Maine coon male.

The thing is that I love puns, and when I saw the cat called « Sean Coonery », I thought it was adorable!

I’m not that good in finding right puns, and I was wondering if people wouldn’t mind helping me a little!

I live in Montreal, so it can be either English or French!

Thanks in advance!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djieff0
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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My wife suddenly looked at me and asked, β€œHow would you describe me, honey?” I said, β€œThat's easy, ABCDEFGHIJK.”

Frowning, she questioned, β€œWhat the heck does that even mean!?”

I continued, β€œAdorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot!”

Blushing, she chuckled, β€œAw, thank you, but what about IJK?”

I sang out, β€œI’m just kidding!”

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
"Dad, how many bottles of water are in the ocean?" my son asked.

"That depends how clumsy sailors are," I replied.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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Got bored, started doodling. I thought you guys would like it.
πŸ‘︎ 204
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENoland8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2013
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Told my daughter about the time I was sick on Halloween

She has pneumonia and was not able to go trick or treating this year. I told her how was sick on Halloween once but I got into my mummy costume and went trick or treating anyway, vomited after going to one house and then went back home.

Daughter: "Wow Dad, you were dead-icated."

I am so proud of her. She is 6.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/throbbietherobot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
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I'm a childless woman but it's a dad joke nonetheless.

A friend was describing some friends of his-

"They're the sweetest. Met on Broadway, have the most adorable son, Cayman..."

Me, "like the island?"

Him, "well yes, but he's named after his dad's father."

Me, "that would be, Grand Cayman, right?"

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whiskey_garter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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I was video chatting with an attractive guy. He dadjoked my dadjoke.

Him: "You're a pretty cool person."

Me: "Actually I'm nice and toasty. I'm wearing sweater tights and have a blanket over me!"

Him: "But where did you get the bread? ... Oh, right, you're just loafing around!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/issiautng
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2015
🚨︎ report
A post on awww reminded me of one I got my kid with a few years ago.

So my daughter used to be a Dora the explorer fanatic. Loved everything Dora.. So we bought her a kickball with Dora on it.

Thats important to the joke, trust me.

So, we were out in the garage, kicking the ball back and forth, and my daughter saw one of our dogs doing something cute, as dogs are wont to do.

"Daddy! Look! That's adorable!"

I grabbed the ball and said "no, sweetie, thats cute, THIS is a Dora ball!"

Eyeroll from her, and the wife choked on her drink. :)

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
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My daughter (2.5yo)

My daughter and I just a few minutes ago. It was adorable, needless to say.

>Me: What do you wanna watch, horseys (MLP) or Elmo World (Sesame Street actually)?

>uh-huh

>Elmo World or horseys?

>uh-huh

>Elmo World?

>uh-huh

>or horseys?

>uh-huh

>Kiddo, you can only choose one!

>One! ^holds ^up ^one ^finger

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Old_Soldiers_Son
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
🚨︎ report

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