Papito never fails to amaze
πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HamsterLarry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I've really enjoyed the past year here and have gotten some great material for my repertoire that never ceases to amaze the wife and kids, but I think it's time I had a short word with you all

Short

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TimothyLux
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Cyanide and Happiness never ceases to amaze. imgur.com/dc518vF
πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mlerner42
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
🚨︎ report
The dedication of Olympic gymnasts amazes me.

They really bend over backwards for their country.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/purrhams_hat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do defibrillators amaze people.....

They're just shocking at heart!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ProphetOfNothing
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My best bud and I are getting married a week apart. He’s the Best Man at my wedding and it still amazes me that my fiancΓ© wants me.

Clearly, I’m only the next Best Man.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unComikal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Never seizes to amaze. Even over texts

Me: You sure I have to go tomorrow?

Dad: Yes. The family is expecting you. Just talk to David and he can help you out.

Me: Roger That

Dad: No his name is David

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/12TripleAce12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad never fails to amaze me with these.

Last night I was driving home and had a police officer following me. I tried my hardest to go the speed limit. As I was driving, I saw a wild turkey running towards the road. I slammed my breaks but still hit the turkey. The bird flipped over my car and hit the police officer behind me. The cop then turned on his siren and pulled me over. He gave me a ticket for flipping him the bird.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goosygreg
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Amazing pun imgur.com/zFO7fJy
πŸ‘︎ 187
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SirDalek
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2013
🚨︎ report
Damn amazing pun from this guy (credit: u/IronSheep5318)
πŸ‘︎ 65
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yehogol131
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you think anyone has ever slapped Dwayne Johnson on the butt and then proclaimed, "well I've hit rock bottom"

Edit: get consent people

"Mr. Rock, may I slap your behind for the sake of an amazing pun that the people will remember for years to come"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asbestos_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
🚨︎ report
He really is amazing
πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I dreamed I befriended this amazing nocturnal horse.

What a night mare.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ra3ndy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I have found a book about a amazing basement.

It was best cellar.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
My brother has been making amazing chicken on the grill for as long as I can remember.

I’d say he’s a seasoned pro.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymouspapayaz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Some fruit told me about the amazing journey they had

It was Pear-ilous!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AurumEatHam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
They say sex at 45 is amazing..

which is cool because i only live 3 doors down.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/8bitPete
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I just got this amazing pen that can write underwater!

It can write other words, too.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pllarsen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I had an amazing chat with a dolphin earlier who I had just met.

We just clicked

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife beamed at me and said, β€œI had no idea our son would go that far!” Tearing up, I stammered, β€œI know!"

"The trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter!"

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Eggcellent!!!
πŸ‘︎ 182
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afeer19
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I was stuck in a traffic jam...

It still amazes me how they get the jars that big.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
Just read an amazing account of a 13th-Century siege.

Just read an amazing account of a 13th-Century siege.

The attackers killed the duke's son, knocking him from the battlements with a peasant's severed head fired from a trebuchet.

It was the first recorded instance of a serf-face-to-heir missile.

From Twitter.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WWTSound
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Wife amazed that the price of the soil for her garden was 4.95/50lb bag

I told her thats dirt cheap

It just happened. I'm evolving

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RiftedEnergy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is the invisible man an amazing employee?

Because good help is hard to find.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
2021 better be amazing...

because after that is 2020 too.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fonebone45
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A mother gave birth to a boy with a defect, he only had a head.

There was no body, arms or legs to him but he was functioning normal and his parents loved him. On his 21st birthday his dad took him to a bar, bought him a beer and gave it to him to drink. Suddenly his torso grew out of his head. Around him amazed the bar started chanting β€œDrink, Drink!” His dad got a second beer and gave it to him, this time he grew arms and hands. The stunned crowd all chanted again β€œDrink, Drink” He got his third beer and drank it himself with his new hands, suddenly legs and feet grew. The crowd applauded and cheered. The son couldn’t believe it and started to run. He ran around in circles and then out of the bar. Unfortunately he ran into the road, got hit by a truck and was killed instantly. The barman looked at his dad, sighed and said β€œHe should have quit while he was a head”

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Shakespeare wasn't just an amazing playwright? He also made exceptional wigs!

His shop name? Toupee or Not Toupee.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a bar with a mysterious box under his arms.

Bartender: "Hold on there buddy, what's in the box?"

Man: "I'll show you if you give me a free drink

The bartender agrees and the man lifts the lid of the box to show a tiny man, who starts playing an equally tiny piano.

Bartender: "That's amazing! Where did you find him?"

Man: "There's a genie outside granting free wishes. But if you go out there, be sure to speak up, because I think he is hard of hearing."

Bartender: "Why do you say that?"

Man: "Do you think I would've wished for a twelve-inch pianist?"

Disclaimer: Not original.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I got into an argument with someone I thought was a "birds aren't real" supporter. I'm an idiot; they were just messing with me and they made some amazing bird puns along the way that deserve attention. The link to the post is in the comments so you can go give the user karma and see the context.

https://preview.redd.it/n7zvpwxkj6m51.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=54f0549ebd3c055929698d6fef3bc05782bf5282

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The inventor of the bomb was so amazed by his invention...

It blew him away.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Song about puns created by amazing Malinda Kathleen Reese. youtube.com/watch?v=LtqBt…
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AndronixESE
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.

They call themselves Ban Jovi.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Manly-Stanley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
That’s Amazing
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RiverReddit1401V2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My sister didn't get my pun
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hannahbeliever
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision

πŸ‘︎ 175
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gamer_Noob_69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My invention was amazing! After many many attempts, I finally got a two-wheeled vehicle to stand on its own!

I guess tri, tri again is the way.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Amazing!
πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aDazzlingDove
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Bullets are real odd

They only do their job once they’re fired

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🀩

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whoopass_voice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
It's amazing how some word's spellings change between America and Britain

For instance, in America they call Tyrannosaurus Rex a T-Rex and in England they call them a Tea-Rex

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Karen's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Ctrl,shift,esc.

(Task manager shortcut)

πŸ‘︎ 478
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_world_thin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A man can fly

So there was a man and woman at a bar. The man says "I bet you 5 bucks this magic water will make me fly!" the woman clearly didn't believe him so she accepted the bet. Sure enough the man jumps off the roof and flies for a bit until he gently goes back to the ground. The girl was amazed! She said "You should market this stuff." "You could make millions!" Still in shock she asks for a drink. She takes a swig and a small crowd forms because this girl is about to jump off of a building. She jumps off and falls onto the pavement. The guy is laughing his head off. Suddenly someone shouts from the crowd "You're a mean drunk superman!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a vegetable that is almost amazing?

Rad-ish

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all watching a street performer doing some amazing juggling

The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a poor few of the show. So, the juggler stands on a wooden box and asks, β€œCan you all see me now?”

β€œYes” β€œOui” β€œSi” β€œJa”

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The comments section is amazing
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarPrince
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
It is amazing how a considerable ammount of people think chocolate milk comes from brown cows...

But I am still looking for the pink cows!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.

Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tekprojekt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
🚨︎ report
David Bowie starred in the film labyrinth

As a kid I thought this film was aMAZEing

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Just taught my 6yr old calculus and advanced physics. Amazing what kids can learn.

Which happens to be jack shit.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Komone
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The nose puns are amazing.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Animefan777
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...

The resemblance is uncanny

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife beamed at me with pride and said "Wow, I never thought our son would go that far!"

I said, "This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter."

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.