How did the biologist annoy the mathematician?

He said: "cells multiply by dividing"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Esmeralda_i
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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What kind of noise annoys an oyster

A noisy noise annoys an oyster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeebok
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Best way to annoy Lady Gaga?

Poke her face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.

Toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adfunk101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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What happens when you annoy your friend Erin on St. Patrick’s Day?

Erin go β€œbrah”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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Don’t annoy clocks

Or they’ll get ticked off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
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Broken bridges annoy me

I just can’t get over them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaguaGaming
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Don’t annoy ghosts.

It might come back to haunt you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Why do you call the guy that’s afraid a pear will annoy him at any time?

Pearannoyed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oberynmviper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What do people who like to annoy grammar snobs call it when you leave the Great Lakes unprotected?

Erie guardless

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithaustin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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I'm trying to think of a pun that will annoy the grammar Nazi's...

Any ideas?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbonemistake
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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It really annoys me when people say that age is just a number

Age is clearly a word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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You really don’t want to annoy pediatricians...

They have little patients

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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How do you annoy a /r/dadjokes subscriber?

[deleted]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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My friend has been learning magic as a quarantine hobby. I present to you: my oc list of magician jokes and puns I invented to annoy him.

Did you hear about the magician who grabbed Eminem so hard his SnapBack fell off?

He pulled a rabbit out of his hat

What do you call a magician who is an administrator at a college, but nobody knows what students he is in charge of?

Whose dean’s he?

A magician went out to the store and bought a big metal structure so he could hang upside down and do situps. He also loved painting, but because of his style he often knocked the canvas around while dabbing on the paint. So he bought another, wooden structure, like an easel, but with clamps to hold the painting in place while he prodded it with the paintbrush. His wife asked, as he brought them in, what the hell he had just bought. He replied:

β€œAb rack and dab rack”

What do you call a magician with very skinny fingers?

Slight of hand

The magician’s wife brought him to the store to buy gifts for a birthday party. She picked out a lovely candle, but wanted to include a nice note. The magician knew just what to do. He brought her down an aisle, found a section marked β€œbirthday,” and said:

β€œPick a card, any card”

The Russian magician, in 1932, found an amazing new piece for his act: a giant, wooden sarcophagus in the shape of a beautiful woman. The piece had giant, metal blades inside at waist level. They were locked in place while it was open, but retracted as it closed, making it seem as though the magician had escaped death. But one day, while he was practicing, the great sarcophagus fell over - door still open - right on the magician. When he was found, he was cut right in two. Moral of the story:

In Soviet Russia, box woman saws you.

Okay that’s it. I’m so sorry, I have nothing better to do.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsk09003
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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This one made me proud as a dad. My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with it: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.

We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Guy annoys girlfriend with puns at Ikea
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GabuTheBunny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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Pixar is releasing a sequel to Up, where the old man gets on a balloon and annoys people.

It’s called Up 2: No good.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Guy annoys girlfriend with puns at Ikea youtu.be/7T2oje4cYxw
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBrontosaurus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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My daughter is 14 and dating. Her boyfriend’s name is Braden, I think..so I just use any B name that comes to mind to annoy her. Braden, Brody, Bradley, Brandon, Bruce, Bryce, etc. Looking for more suggestions! I also talk gangster to her all the time to get her going. Being a β€˜Dad Joke’ Dad is fun!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lachrondizzle23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game. punsville.com/best/page/2…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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(want to annoy coworkers on a slow day?) "Hey, can you call a wizard or a knight in shining armor?"

[cue confused looks]

"Because, today is a draggin'!" (dragon)

[cue "I hate you" looks and/or painful eye-roll]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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I was enjoying watching a fly annoy my sister until my mom came in and swatted it.

Honestly, she can be such a buzzkill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whattajosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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How many sneezes do you sneeze before the sneezes start to annoy you?

A phew!
Aaaaphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!
Aphew!

^s^o^r^r^y

Aphew!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaggington
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
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.My girlfriend said I'm starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman.

What a Joker!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
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I used to throw ice cubes under the fridge to annoy my parents

Now it's all water under the fridge

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Vile1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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My wife wants to eat pizza so frequently that it sometimes annoys me.

When we began discussing what to dine on this evening, she says to me, "How about we have something for dinner that starts with a 'p' and ends with an 'a' and isn't pasta?"

I roll my eyes and groan animatedly.

"There is no way a single pea is going to feed all three of us!"

^^She ^^laughed ^^harder ^^at ^^that ^^than ^^any ^^of ^^my ^^previous ^^corny ^^jibes, ^^so ^^I ^^thought ^^I'd ^^share...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chambadon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2014
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Thinking that every one wants to bother me makes me par-annoy-a
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pungunner98
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
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πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuirkyKlyborg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2017
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Shitty Photoshop I Made To Annoy My Friend

Credit /u/HauschkasFoot for his glorious AMA question the other day.

http://i.imgur.com/hCn7Y1H.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HansBrixOhNo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2017
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Get my roommate everytime with this one. When i say "get", i mean annoy everytime.

Her (in a hurry to leave): Have you seen my bag?

Me: Yeah it's lovely.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baskmeollox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
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Two of my Dads favourite jokes to annoy my younger brothers

When getting ready to leave the house:

"Dad can you put my shoes on?"

"They won't fit me"

And upon picking them up from school:

"How was Doris today"

"Dad, there is no one at school called Doris"

"Oh was she sick today?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakelywood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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My dad used to annoy me with bird puns.

But now I realize toucan play that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacoenthusiast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns

But toucan play that game

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faiz_Clan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Broken bridges really annoy me.

I just can’t get over them.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VikingLord17
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My 9 1/2 year-old son came up with this one: What do you call someone you can't stand because all they do is annoy you with question after question?

An askhole.

I didn't even laugh at first. I immediately asked if he'd heard it somewhere. He said he hadn't, that he'd come up with it on his own. When I asked him when he did that, he said it was when we were leaving for church (earlier that day). Then I had a good laugh.

I helped him tweak the setup a little, and then I had him tell his momma. I laughed even harder when she sat in stunned silence for a few seconds and then busted out laughing with her hands over her mouth.

We explained to him that while the joke was not wholly appropriate for his age, it most certainly was funny.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Never Try to Annoy someone with bird puns.

Because Toucan play the game

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mumbo_Wumbo_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Never try to annoy me with bird puns..

Because toucan play at that game

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Raehln_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2017
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Never try to annoy someone with bird puns.

Because toucan play at that game.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Ya know how you annoy an r/dadjokes subscriber?

[deleted]

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Braden1029
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/david7494
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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Guy annoys coworkers with puns
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2015
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