A list of puns related to "The Doctor"
So I have an uncle, once removed.
Nurse: “No change yet”
At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, "Be positive!"
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.
"Like a glove."
The doctor replies: "Tell him I can't see him now."
“Will my son able to speak again?”
- Can you hear better with the hearing aid that I recommended?
- Yes, I can. Thank you very much, doctor. I've already re-written my Will 3 times.
.....really got the ball rolling.
“Those are just contractions.”
The doctor then replied "i know, i amputated your arms."
Things before that is a blur.
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
The inside looks great! They have a penne ceiling.
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
He told me to quit going to those places.
I really needed that change of heart!
The results came completely out of the purple!
He waited patiently.
He now is a sturgeon
When the dr touches your nuts it’s strictly business.
It was a joint effort.
He was having problems with his sin(x)s
“Yes, of course…”
“Great! I never could before!”
it was music to my arse!
It really rocked my world.
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
a-reptile-disfunction.
"You've broken your hand."
“They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.”
"So, take these pills to cure your waterworks problem, then give me a tinkle." the doctor said.
Don't often think about my feet. They are usually the furthest thing from my mind.
He gave me a kite
She has A type
Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”
The teacher has everyone turn their body over
Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”
all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first
Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”
The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked
As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.
With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz
he said, ''I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking.''
''In that case,'' said the patient, ''I'll come back when you're sober''
I replied "Yes you may, go right ahead and ask"
Every time he examines me, he puts both hands on my shoulders to comfort me.
He gets a taste of his own medicine.
I couldn't picture it, so she showed me a faux toe.
Because it was feeling depressed.
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
Doc: “Have you had any surgeries?”
F2M: “Yes. I had appendicitis.”
Doc: “Ah. Appendectomy. How can I help you today?”
F2M: “Addadicktome.”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
Nova-cain
"It's typ o."
So, I have an uncle, once removed.
He said "I'm not patient".
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