What’s a more concrete term for butt crack?

Asphalt.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KhaleesiDog
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy used to paint these beautiful beach scapes when he lived on the coast, but since he’s moved away, he won’t paint any more.

I guess he’s now an ex-cape-artist...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sully1227
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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I can’t believe it’s been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.

It seems like just yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know Hannibal Lecter has a brother who’s even more evil and sadistic?

His name is Bilka... Bilka Lecter.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s been more than 15 years since the show was over, but people are still making β€˜Friends’ references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, β€œIt’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.”

I opened the fridge door, the light came on, the beer was cold. What the hell did she mean?

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s up with ghosts haunting people? Aren’t there more interesting things to do in the afterlife? [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ButterKnifeComics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What family members are most likely to spoil the s’more children?

Grahamma and Grahampa

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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I want to make s'mores, but I'm out of graham crackers...

Good thing I have Instagram

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaze03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My mother’s leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What’s more expensive, a ladder or a diamond?

The latter.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tmart193
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
He’s feline a lot more comfortable.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
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β€œNation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research” I guess those geologists are a bunch of Stoners.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A pyrotechnician was asked how to make s'mores

"Fire works"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drood100
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an onion’s more fun cousin?

Funions

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmckenzie7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the best place to learn more about candles?

Wickipedia.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rlchv70
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.

I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
It’s official, scientists have proven that more birthday celebrations is officially linked to a longer life span
πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rangent
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
There’s a reason I don’t speak with the Taliban any more.

They kept blowing me up.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/platformjuan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said that I should start paying more attention to what’s going on around me.

I’ll try harder in 2018.

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state. reddit.com/r/puns/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter is 14 and dating. Her boyfriend’s name is Braden, I think..so I just use any B name that comes to mind to annoy her. Braden, Brody, Bradley, Brandon, Bruce, Bryce, etc. Looking for more suggestions! I also talk gangster to her all the time to get her going. Being a β€˜Dad Joke’ Dad is fun!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lachrondizzle23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A report just came out that Peyton Manning’s forehead has grown even more since he retired from the NFL

It’s Nationwide now

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squadly_santana
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s more amazing than a talking dog?

A Spelling Bee

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t know why the Hulk doesn’t have more bandages. He’s essentially a giant bruce.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecadet6966
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I had The Killers over for s’mores and hot cocoa. We all woke up this morning sick with hangovers

I looked at them and said β€œhow did it end up like this? It was only Swiss-miss.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A hip replacement is when something hip gets replaced by something else that’s more hip.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What is your best joke involving s'mores?

We are cooking them tonight and I need some ammunition

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/narwhals_ftw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2014
🚨︎ report
S'mores

I came home and made breakfast for my dad and sister. I tried a new egg recipe that I found. I asked them how they like it and he said, "They taste like s'mores." My sister and I looked at him funny and he said, "Like I want some more of them!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rock-Hawk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Every time we ask my uncle if he wants a S'more...

"How can I have 'S'MORE' if I haven't had any yet?" then he breaks into this fake laugh that sounds like a higher pitched Santa "ho hoo hoo ho" and we are all stuck shaking our heads and (depending on alcohol levels) laughing our butts off.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stoshumala17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
🚨︎ report
Someone at the party didn't know what a s'more was.

It's the opposite of a s'less.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TopHatMikey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2013
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomguy6282
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe it’s been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.

It feels like only yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe it’s been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.

It feels like it was only yesterday.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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