Why can’t trump go to the White House anymore?
I was told I can't use eBay anymore.
I don't know why exactly, they just said it was for biddin'
I decided not to get rid of my tumor anymore
I dont know why, i guess it just grew on me
I don’t drink anymore
I also don’t drink any less
Why doesn’t magneto wear purple anymore ?
Because the “Days of Fuchsia Passed”
Im not wearing glasses anymore
Do you know why Leopold II. doesn't travel to Africa anymore?
It’s a shame nothing is made in the USA anymore.
I just bought a TV that said “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is!
What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?
Why can’t trump go to the whitehouse anymore?
So I don't shop from Old Navy anymore
I don’t like candy bars anymore
They always Snicker at me
I can’t handle going camping with my friend anymore...
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
Why aren't there any short chefs anymore?
What’s it called when a chameleon cannot change colors anymore?
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
I'm an old man, now. I don't tell Dad jokes anymore.
I don’t like hindsight anymore
Just don't bug them anymore
Why isn't 1 allowed to hang out with 0 anymore?
Because 1's mom says 0 is naughty
People ask me why I don’t go out much anymore, but I tell them it’s because I just bought a pet cow.
I have been milking that excuse for weeks now.
I can’t listen to to classical music anymore, it overwhelms my senses.
I simply cannot Handel it.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.
My eye doctor just told me that I can’t see anymore,
There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.
I thought it was a safe bet.
Here’s why presidents don’t use convertible cars anymore.
The facts are mind blowing.
Took my iguana Ralph to the vets, he's very lethagic and hardly gets up anymore.
Apparently he has a reptile dysfunction.
Wife: we shouldn’t curse around the kids anymore
Dad: what should I say instead bull-
Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead.
Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit
I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore
I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
Did you hear about the two friends named Doug that got in a fight and don’t talk anymore?
Now they’re both Doug-less
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Donald, Duck" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not
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I cant watch my clock anymore!
The tik toks are so annoying...
Trump can’t go to white house anymore coz it’s for-biden
I don't drink anymore.
I don't drink any less either.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..
Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.
I don't tell "DAD JOKES" anymore....
I don't tell them any less, but also not any more....
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.
I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
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