“Because she has no taste.”
No shit
It's kind of apparent.
Me: Isn’t that.....a sweeping generalization?
planetary healthcare?
Like c’mon the moon is still up there. It never landed.
Wild Bill Hickock
She knew I'd be hungry and left me two dinners out on the table!
Nice guys finish last.
I sea what you did there!
http://i.imgur.com/tEp5yIh.png
Son responds, "No."
*Touches said fabric* - "It is now!"
"......gneiss guys finish last."
Me: I'd like to check these [books] out.
Librarian: Sorry, that's actually against the rules.
Me: Huh?
Librarian: You see, checking them out only makes them shelf conscious.
deux!
So he cadaver all to himself.
I was in music class today and my teacher picked up a folder a pupil in the previous class had left behind. The folder was labelled 'French' and on top of it there was a book that said 'Speaking Book' (obviously referring to French Speaking practice).
My music teacher then opened the book and put it to his ear. With a confused look on his face he exclaimed: 'Well I can't hear anything!' Groaning from all the class then ensued.
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/3gug73/eli5_why_do_divers_fall_backwards_off_boats/cu1s5ld
Dad: "Time for bed, kids"
Kids: "Throw us in bed! Throw us in bed!"
(Dad picks a kid up in his arms)
Dad: "Did I ever tell you about the three men in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace?"
Kids: "No!"
Dad: "Their names were... Shadrach... Meshach... and ToBedYouGo!
(tosses squealing kid through the air, onto the bed)
The dental hygienist asked me which part of my mouth they should work on tonight, then relayed my response to the dentist when he came into the room. He responded in classic dad fashion:
Hygienist: We're gonna work on the top left. Dentist: The top left? What if I wanted to work on the top left? (pause) Dentist: You know what? I've got it. I'm gonna work on the top left.
