Why doesn’t magneto wear purple anymore ?
Because the “Days of Fuchsia Passed”
It’s a shame nothing is made in the USA anymore.
I just bought a TV that said “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is!
I don’t like candy bars anymore
They always Snicker at me
Why can’t trump go to the whitehouse anymore?
What’s it called when a chameleon cannot change colors anymore?
Why aren't there any short chefs anymore?
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
I don't drink anymore.
I don't drink any less either.
I recently found out my wiener doesn’t work anymore. I decided to have a funeral since it’s pretty much dead now. My sweet wife asked if anything would make me feel better.
I replied, Perhaps mourning would...
I don’t like hindsight anymore
I'm an old man, now. I don't tell Dad jokes anymore.
People ask me why I don’t go out much anymore, but I tell them it’s because I just bought a pet cow.
I have been milking that excuse for weeks now.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
Just don't bug them anymore
Why isn't 1 allowed to hang out with 0 anymore?
Because 1's mom says 0 is naughty
I can’t listen to to classical music anymore, it overwhelms my senses.
I simply cannot Handel it.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
There was a locked metal box at an auction. The auctioneer said it was from the 1920’s and owned by really wealthy man. There could’ve been some really valuable stuff in it or it could just be empty. I didn’t want to bid anymore than $100 on it.
I thought it was a safe bet.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.
Here’s why presidents don’t use convertible cars anymore.
The facts are mind blowing.
Took my iguana Ralph to the vets, he's very lethagic and hardly gets up anymore.
Apparently he has a reptile dysfunction.
Did you hear about the two friends named Doug that got in a fight and don’t talk anymore?
Now they’re both Doug-less
I cant watch my clock anymore!
The tik toks are so annoying...
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
...I have reported it misting.
Wife: we shouldn’t curse around the kids anymore
Dad: what should I say instead bull-
Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead.
Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit
When my mom told me she wanted to be a man, I couldn't see her anymore...
Because she was trans parent
I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore
I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
Man looks everywhere for his colourful tie when his wife tells him "I'm afraid you can't wear it anymore". "Why?"
The presidents guards aren’t allowed to scream “get down” before the president is attacked anymore.
They have to yell “Donald, Duck!”
Edit: whoever gave me the gold award, thank you so much. I would repay you in a way, but I don’t know who you are.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore
Why couldn’t the teddy bear eat anymore?
Because he was stuffed!!!
My father had a sex change and I don't see him anymore.
Trump can’t go to white house anymore coz it’s for-biden
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..
Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.
I don't tell "DAD JOKES" anymore....
I don't tell them any less, but also not any more....
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.
I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
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