βCause insects puns really bug them...
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
But if anything, it made him more sluggish.
Iβm not too worried, I think sheβs jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
βLook mom, no Hans!β
Linoleum Blown-Apart
Bison
I lost control.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him
Daughter : Whats Nana's middle name?
Me: the same as mommies, I think
Daughter: her middle name is just i think?
I'm so proud. Sorry if I don't know how to format, I tried.
But the doctor said heβll be all right.
Only been getting 25% off.
Heβs all right now
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
So you can start the New Year off on the right foot
Edit: Thanks for the silver
He texted me to warn me that it was an old school, analog wok, not an Ewok.
...itβs now Hans free.
I only managed to get 20% off.
Dieting is so hard.
Must dash.
Aw, shucks!
Credit: Bo Burnham
They're cutting right into my hips.
It scared my wife pretty bad.
I assured her heβs all right.
A flat major.
A fjordian slip
The little one was a little more on.
You donβt. You get down off a duck.
Theyβre working tirelessly to catch them
Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.
so here goes...
(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)
daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?
me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?
daughter: elizabeth-gramma.
me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?
(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)
daughter: don't know, who?
me: my mum.
(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)
Sadly I was defeated.
A blinkin'
Student: "Sir, someone nutted on the floor!"
Me: *Begins to get angry* *Turns around... there's a hex nut on the floor*
Me: "Well played."
Donβt ask meow
Ba-dum-tss
The sound from a pigeon does not, because a coo sticks.
I wonder why everyone else on the helicopter is panicking?
It was our last warming.
Pay for the pizza π.
Only while stocks last.
Bison
You donβt, you get Down off a Duck
