7 yıldır oynuyom tüm emekler boşa gitti amk

PUENFXZP is the link to the map. its a 2player co-op. enjoy

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Well, the 40k limit strikes again. Had to cut some stuff until next chapter. Life's been busy as heck, but the next chapter's mostly complete, should drop it in fairly soon, then we can get to death, explosions, and more fun.

It's been such an issue that I can't even 'next' in Award pt. I because it is at that 40k limit. I can't put the link in. (Something in there has to go. I eliminated the "First" chapter link in it- but yeah. It's being a major fly in the ointment. Award was always a doozy to write, and tedious, but important. It has always been about setting the stage. We'll see what shakes out.)

First | Previous | Next

Alien-Nation Chapter 76: Award (pt. II)

I’d been inside Archmere’s presentation hall, once. The ceiling was like a coloured sky of stained glass, spots of radiance obscuring white clouds on a blue background. Rays shining through to reach the outskirts of vibrant spots before the stained glass ended, greeted by brassy metallics, wooden beams and ceramic tiles. The human natural and ancient materials, and even a fountain in the center of the room gave the whole inside a very intimate, and human-scale sense of proportions.

It also was far too small to be used for the sheer number of visitors, apparently. Which meant this whole affair was set to be carried out on the wide grassy lawn in front of the building. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of people sitting in front of me now, waiting for me to open my mouth and either make a fool of myself or carve out my footnote in history. The odd proportions of the chairs and the female Shil'vati dwarfing the humans sitting beside them threw off any estimates I could have hoped to make.

I took a deep breath in.

Don’t even try and count them, we don’t have all day up here.

I launched into it in High Shil’.

“Gentlemen and Ladies, thank you all for coming. I admit that it’s a considerably larger audience than I’d been assured would be in attendance, but it is still excellent to see all of you gathered here today.”

I could hear a few murmurs of breath as I spoke in High Shil’, and, if everything was going to plan, an English translation should have appeared on the display screen behind me. I reminded myself to raise my voice a bi

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

Playing a Crusader and I had to grind for about six hours before I could hit the Level 400 campaign mission. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, either I suck or this game levels deliberately very slowly. Seems like my wargear score is barely going up by more than 2-3 points per mission. Is this normal?

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Start

---

"Why are we still sitting here? Shouldn't one of your shuttles have arrived to pick us up by now?"

The ranger took a moment to luxuriate in the poacher’s growing impatience.

Serves you right, the man thought vindictively before he replied. "We're sitting here because you still won't tell Hub where your ship is. Or anything about it. I don't want some tuned-up racer with a mining laser trying to engage us and rescue you en-route to the station.

The shuttles are very intentionally not combat craft, which is why so many governments - even ones unaffiliated with the OCF - are willing to let us put ranger stations in orbit around their backwater worlds. My point being that even insecure, wealthy civilians like your boss can afford hardware capable of threatening them.

Of course, you could just spill the beans and save us both a few more hours of sightseeing in this lovely but perhaps insufficiently varied jungle clearing." He turned to the poacher and cocked his head expectantly.

The mottled brush-coloured bundle stared at him levelly. "I already told you I can't do that."

The ranger shrugged back. "I remember. I didn't say anything about the wait then, because it's a transient perk of the job to watch scumbags squirm."

Somehow, he detected the poacher rolling their eyes beneath their helmet.

"You know, you're awfully sanctimonious for someone who doesn't know anything about me," the ghillie suit griped.

The ranger scoffed. "Oh please, this is me dialing it down. How long did you spend coasting here on zero-emissions so we couldn't spot you on the way in? This is a premeditated act of theft from the Garidien government. Not to mention you've almost certainly introduced invasive microorganisms to this world's biosphere whose impact will not be fully understood for decades or centuries."

The poacher made to reply, and the Ranger interrupted. "Spare me the justification, I've heard 'em all.

'Just doing what my boss tells me,' 'Everyone needs to earn a living,' 'I tried to obtain a license from their government but their xenophobic officials denied me!'

That last one is pure fabrication by the way, the Garidiens are easy as pie. They don't issue licenses for shit on Oh-Nine-Three and I'm literally the first person they would tell if they were even thinking about it."

"Actually I was going to say that I followed very strict decontamination prot

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

It had been half a lifetime since the days of the darkless nights followed by the long coldness. The stars in the sky no longer had the occasional drifter whose light flashed as it passed from horizon to horizon, and the long thin clouds that once stretched behind the enormous birds so high in the sky had not disappeared along with the birds themselves. The strange men that occasionally ventured towards the Tree People's land had been long gone as well, which had been a comfort.

Life was prosperous, and quiet. But Chabat, the leader of the Tree People, felt uneasy. He had been little more than a stripling during the darkless nights, but he still remembered the distant rumbles and knew that while life was much the same as always for his people, something was different about the world they lived in. Before, there was the sense that they were too far away and too deep among the trees for others to reach them. Now, he wondered where others were.

The Jondolin tribe, he knew, was there. Several valleys away, the tentative peace between the two tribes remained, with the very occasional intermarriage. But the Aisha, who had traded with both the People of the River and Chabat's own Tree People had disappeared during the darkless nights, and with them, the hard knives and axes that they sometimes bartered for. Those old knives and axes, carefully sharpened over years, were at the ends of their use. The people could live without them and return to using stone shards, he knew, but...

After several days of thought and debate, one morning Chabat and a small party of the most capable men and women of his people began the long journey. When they passed into the Aisha area, all were on guard, but there were no warning calls, and no attacks. When Chabat led the party to the Aisha's longhouses he remembered from the visits of his youth, they found them deserted. The jungle had overtaken them. Only a few deer and monkeys lingered where Chabat remembered lively interaction with the strange but wonderful Aisha.

The knives and axes that had remained in the longhouses were long rusted. Chabat knew they could be restored to some usefulness and he sent a few of the most trustworthy companions back to the Tree People with them. But Chabat yearned to know more. Where had the Aisha all gone?

Chabat and the remaining members of the party ventured on, following the downward slope of the land. After many days travel they found the river which had been spoken of only in legend among

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Context: Cain has just defused a situation following the assassination of a Tau envoy at the imperial Governor of Gravalax's dinner party. As a token of goodwill in an attempt to avoid full scale war with the Tau, he's attempting to smuggle them safely back to their territory before they're lynched by either imperial citizens or Gravalxian PDF, and so they can attempt to put out the tensions of the civil war on the horizon before they can come to a boil.

>""'Roadblock,' Jurgen said unnecessarily, and glanced at me for orders. 'Ease off,' I said, considering the situation. 'No point drawing their fire unless we have to.' Figures were moving slowly towards us, lasguns levelled, silhouetted against the firelight. I squinted, trying to identify them. They wore plain fatigues, of a colour I couldn't quite identify in the yellowish glow, but which looked grey or blue, and light flak armour of an even darker shade 'PDF,' Kasteen confirmed after a moment listening to the tactical net. 'Loyalist, supporting the Arbites.' 'Thank the Emperor for that,' I said, and voxed Lustig. 'They're friendlies. Apparently.'

[...]

>'Who goes there?' He was young, I noticed, his face still pitted with acne scars, and his helmet looked too big for his head. A lieutenant's rank insignia had been painted in the centre of it, clearly visible, typical PDF sloppiness. [...]

> 'Colonel Kasteen, Valhallan 597th. And Commissar Cain.' Kasteen leaned out of the cab window to talk to him. 'Order your men aside.' 'I can't do that.' His jaw took on a stubborn set. 'I'm sorry.' 'Really?' Kasteen looked at him as though she'd just found him on the sole of her boot. 'I was under the impression that a colonel outranks a lieutenant. Isn't that so, commissar?' 'In my experience,' I agreed. I leaned past her to address the young pup directly. 'Or do you do things differently on Gravalax?' He paled visibly as I raked him with the number two glare. 'No, commissar. But I've been ordered not to let anyone past under any circumstances.' 'I think you'll find my authority supersedes any orders you may have been given,' I said confidently. His jaw worked convulsively. 'But the rebels are in control of the next sector,' he said. 'The tau are leaving their enclave—' 'Lies!' El'hassai jumped up on the flatbed behind us, now clearly visible to the young lieutenant and his PDF troopers. I was really beginning to suspect that the hotheaded tau had some sort of death wish, and one I'd be happy t

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?