A chap jumps out of an areoplane and his parachute fails to open.
On the way down he meets a chap with no parachute moving up wards.
He shouts to him, Hey mate know anything about parachutes?
The chap coming up shout No but do you know anything about gas cookers?
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︎ Oct 02 2020
Two chefs are working on a meal, the first chef is caramelising onions when some spill out the pan, the second chef says βwhat happened? Onions canβt jump by themselvesβ
the first chef responds with βthey can if theyβre spring onionsβ
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Why did the man refuse to jump out the window?
He didn't want to go through any pane.
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Why did the loaf of bread jump out of the oven and back onto the counter?
Because it always feels good to be kneaded.
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︎ Jun 23 2019
What does a janitor say when he jumps out of a closet?
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︎ Apr 21 2019
*jumps out the window*
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︎ Jun 15 2018
What's it called when the little mermaid jumps out of the water...?
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︎ Nov 12 2018
I grew up in a rough neighbourhood. Kids would jump out and put whipped cream, glacΓ© cherries and chocolate sprinkles on people all the time.
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︎ Feb 28 2019
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
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︎ Jan 15 2019
To get out of the window, you can either jump or climb down, Iβd choose the ladder
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︎ Jan 14 2018
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
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︎ Aug 23 2017
Why don't blind people jump out of planes anymore?
It scared the hell out of their dogs.
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︎ Jul 24 2017
I figured out why all Polish bankers can jump so high
They're all Pole vaulters.
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︎ Mar 22 2018
Found out my son jumped the water by the docks
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I took my son camping the other day. As we prepared I hid in his luggage and when he came over I jumped out and screamed
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︎ Oct 28 2020
A german tourist jumped in the freezing water to save my dog. After he climbed out, he said, βhere is ze dog, dry him off and keep him warm, he vill be fine. I asked him, βare you a vet?β
He said, βvet? Iβm fucking soakingβ
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︎ Jan 07 2020
While riding down the road today, a fish jumped out of a boat that was being towed, and smashed into the front of my car.
It wasn't all bad though, I love grilled fish.
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Tried taking a picture of my hamster in his banana hammock but he jumped out before I could take it
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︎ Jun 13 2020
Mama fly and baby fly were hanging out at the coronerβs office. The coroner was enjoying a sandwich while he performed an autopsy. Baby fly landed on the sandwich as the coroner took a bite. Mama fly jumped into action and hit the man in the eye and baby fly escaped out of his mouth.
. Mama fly looked into baby flyβs eyes and said,
βNobody puts baby in a coronerβ
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Iβm out of... thyme jumped out at me when I opened the cabinet and dove to its death.
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︎ Feb 27 2019
My son jumped out from behind a door and yelled βboo!β He asked, βDid I scare you?β
I said, βNo. But Was that your ghoul?β
He just groaned.
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︎ Sep 23 2019
My wife jumped out of bed because she thought of a great dad joke to tell me
Sheβs a stand up comedian
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︎ Aug 25 2019
I love to cook, I once jumped out of a plane to get a certain herb I needed.
But what can I say, Iβm a real DILL seeker
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︎ May 16 2019
I hated my first experience of skydiving. I jumped out of the plane with the other person next to me.
Anyway, about halfway down he said, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"
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︎ Aug 15 2019
Pete and RePete were in a boat, and Pete jumped out. Who was leftβ¦
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︎ Apr 18 2019
My daughter had her 6th driving test yesterday. She got 8 out of 10.
The other 2 jumped out of the way.
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I jumped out of bed when I heard a godawful sound as I woke up this morning.
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︎ Mar 22 2019
It's bad to skip school to go out bungee jumping with your friends...
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︎ Nov 10 2018
What does a janitor say when he jumps out of the closet?
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︎ Sep 07 2018
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What did the teacher say when s/he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Jan 14 2021
What did the janitor yell as he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Nov 20 2020
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Oct 14 2020
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Sep 29 2020
The janitor jumped out of the closet and yelled
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of his closet?
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︎ Feb 09 2020
What did the Janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Dec 10 2019
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Nov 01 2019
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the utility closet?
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︎ Dec 15 2019
What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Nov 06 2019
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Apr 24 2019
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 03 2019
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet
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︎ Nov 29 2018
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Feb 16 2017
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 08 2018
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Jun 13 2018
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Jun 21 2018
What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ May 22 2018
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
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︎ Aug 25 2018
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