When I'm running late dropping my kids off at daycare, I call in to my 8am Zoom meeting from my car.
I call it, "phoning it in."
The wife accused me of always dropping random Elvis lyrics in our conversations.
Her suspicious mind left me all shook up
My son kept dropping scrabble tiles.
I got angry,
'Calm down Dad, it's just a game' he said
Well, I replied
'It's all fun and games until somebody loses an 'I' '
The College Board announced today that it will be dropping the essay section from the SAT.
It’ll now just be called the T.
This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. “Son, hurry up, we’re running late.”
Son: “no dad, we’re walking late.”
I just saw my wife tripping and dropping a bunch of clothes she just ironed.
What did the father buffalo say to his kid while dropping him off at school?
In Vegas, people can tithe by dropping casino chips in the offertory.
At the end of the weekend there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.
He’s the Chip Monk.
I keep dropping my phone while reading all these dad jokes.
It’s getting out of hand.
I seriously have to stop dropping things.
It’s really been getting out of hand.
Just dropping a short note to all at r/dadjokes
I was dropping my kid off when I saw a wild Buffalo charging him
I yelled “Bison!”
He looked back at me, waved, and said “bye dad!”
Poor kid never even saw the Buffalo before he got speared...
Did you know you can tell if an ant is a boy or a girl by dropping it in water?
If it sinks it's a girl ant
If it floats it's boy ant
I tried juggling some candy bars but kept dropping them.
My friend told me if I want to get out of doing the dishes, try dropping some of them. I tried it, it didn't work.
But then during babysitting.
I caught my delivery driver dropping a turd in my yard today.
When asked to leave a review I gave him a number 2
My jokes about dropping pancakes never get a laugh.
You can actually tell the sex of an ant by dropping it in water.
If they float, they're boy ant.
What did Mike Bloomberg do after the speech on dropping out of the presidential race?
Did you guys hear about AT&T and Verizon dropping out of an upcoming conference due to corona virus concerns?
It’s probably a good thing considering they’re both well-known carriers.
Rare diseases carried by bat droppings
Be careful to avoid bat droppings. You can catch a rare disease from them that can drive you batshit crazy.
Dropping 864 Quarts of Yogurt at Work
What did I get by dropping a piano down a mineshaft?
My wife got angry at me for dropping tea on the floor
I told her to teak it easy
PS: first post here, don't hate but propagate
Mama Buffalo is dropping Baby buffalo off at school.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
Reading to my 5 year old the other day when this picture came up, and my wife said “he must be dropping a log.” I think I’ve trained her well.
https://i.imgur.com/gCd9CRy.jpg
Me - Dad, I'm dropping Geometry and doing Economics instead.
Dad - I'm glad Euclid that up for me.
Coughing in a pattern is basically dropping a sick beat.
My son to his friends playing Fortnite "Yo where we dropping?"
Dropping my sister off at college
My Dad, my step-mom, and I visited my step-sister in Montana(we live in Washington) where she goes to school. We had a fun weekend with her all throughout Missoula. My step-mom and step-sister have a a really close bond so when it was time to say goodbye it was tough for them and they both started crying. My dad said something close to "Look now your mother is crying," to which my sister says "Why are you worrying about her I have to walk through people like this." To which my dad hits her with the most dad joke of a dad joke I've ever heard him say. "Why don't you just walk around them instead?"
Dad joked my gf after dropping her favourite glass and breaking it.
Me: Sorry babe, there was nothing I could do about it.... It was out of my hands
Gf: doubly annoyed groan
My professor is constantly dropping these gems
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
An educated Rhinoceros was considering dropping out of university, which he thought was juvenile and cheesy.
He said "I can't be bothered with all this uni-corn".
I seriously have to stop dropping things.
It’s really getting out of hand.
You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it on water. If it sinks it's a girl ant,
If it floats it's boy ant
My friend has a habit of dropping things.
It's getting out of hand.
Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in a glass of water?
If it sinks: girl
If it floats: boyant
Do you know how you can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in a glass of water?
If it sinks: girl ant. If it floats: boyant.
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