Whatβs a peeping tomβs favorite place in the hospital?
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︎ Aug 14 2022
To the person who stole my place in the queue
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︎ Aug 17 2022
What's the best place in the house to hide from ghosts?
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︎ Jul 21 2022
They say the worst place to be in a cooking competition is last place...
...Tell that to the crab.
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︎ Aug 18 2022
Where's the best place in the land to get some new wings?
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︎ Jul 26 2022
After I clicked send on an email that I never should have written in the first place,
I had a horrible syncing feeling.
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︎ Aug 02 2022
After you clock in at your job find a place to hide
After all a good employee is hard to find
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︎ Jul 11 2022
There's one place in the world that makes the best milk, the best butter, and the best cheese
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︎ Jul 05 2022
What was the name of the ST:TNG episode where they put the Omnipotent One in his place?
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︎ Jul 06 2022
Here's a (-), here's a (/), put those in the first place you think to put them. How politically conscious is that?!
reddit.com/gallery/uibhsb
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︎ May 04 2022
What word does one give to people from different backgrounds at the same time itβs a car game you place 1st in ?
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︎ Jul 02 2022
How did Cap'n Crunch end up winning first place in the Dog Show?
He was a fine-looking wee mariner.
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︎ Jun 05 2022
Someone told me there is a great place in reddit to appreciate lemons
I couldn't find it but I'm sure it's sublime
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︎ May 16 2022
I was working at this store when a man suddenly came in to rob the place. I managed to fight him off with a price tag gunβ¦.
Now the police are looking for him with a price on his head
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︎ May 25 2022
Did you know that he was burried in a wrong place?
It turned out to be a grave mistake.
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︎ May 14 2022
why did the powerlifter come in last place?
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︎ May 16 2022
What's the lonliest place in Louisiana?
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︎ Apr 15 2022
To the person who took my place in line:
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︎ Mar 07 2022
I live in a Remote place....
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︎ Dec 02 2021
What's the best place in a room to get warm?
The corner. They are ninety degrees.
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︎ Mar 16 2022
I work in a place that sells printers.
I watched one of my colleagues one day as he lifted a few rather large and obviously heavy laser printers. He started with a couple of HP printers of some variety and then went for the one I had been waiting for him to lift. He picked up the Brother printer and struggled to lift it onto the printers he already had on his trolley.
Quick as a flash I said to him that he "shouldn't strain so much. The printer's quite light."
He finally got the printer down and looked at me as though I was dumb before making the fateful error in his reply; "It's 35kg. If you think it's so light you move it."
I could only dead-pan him with my reply of "He's not heavy. He's my brother."
I laughed as he tried to punch me. It was well worth it though.
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︎ Apr 06 2022
The only place where racism is still acceptable is in the Laundry Room...
...as you seperate the whites from the other colors.
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︎ Feb 14 2022
How do you learn the ancient art of moving in two opposite directions at the same time while remaining in place?
You can sit down, shut up, and listen here.
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︎ Feb 14 2022
TIL In India you can never buy a sandwich in the same place twice
You always have to go to a New Del(h)i
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︎ Feb 05 2022
True story: Many years ago I worked a drive thru fast food place. A tow truck came through with a car hooked up in back. I asked him what I could get for him. The driver asked for a minute to decide.
After a minute I said, βSir, can you hurry up? Youβre holding up the car behind you.β
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︎ Jan 19 2022
Whatβs the best place for a crane in the world?
Ukraine
(Courtesy of my 7yr old son)
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︎ Feb 12 2022
We visited a zoo last year and the only animal in the entire place was a dog.
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︎ Aug 26 2021
Last night an evil spirit was smoking cigarettes in my apartment and now the whole place smells like beef stew.
Must be all the ghoul ash.
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︎ Jan 03 2022
Why are your keys always in the last place you look?
Because you stop looking for them.
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︎ Jul 24 2021
Do you know the worst place to hide in a hospital?
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︎ Nov 19 2021
Whereβs the best place to play peek-a-boo in a hospital?
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︎ Dec 24 2021
Guys, make your woman feel special. Place a framed photo of her in the kitchen...
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Ever wonder why vampire movies seem to take place in Europe or America but never South Africa?
Well it is because they bless the rains down in Africa!
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︎ Dec 13 2021
What do you get when you place a crown on top of two military vehicles floating in a tasty noodle dish?
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︎ Dec 24 2021
Where is the only acceptable place to fart in public?
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︎ Sep 21 2021
If Hawkeye were to go to Japan, in which particular place would he stay in?
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︎ Dec 14 2021
What's the difference between a a delicatessen specializing in dressed meats, and a place to raise adorable baby Hammerheads and Great Whites?
One is a charcuterie, the other is a cute sharkery.
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︎ Nov 04 2021
What do you call a particle that stays securely in place?
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︎ Nov 12 2021
Why would Adolf hit Ler in the first place tho?
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︎ May 21 2021
To the person who stole my place in the queue.
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︎ Apr 26 2022
To the person who stole my place in the queueβ¦..
β¦β¦Iβm coming after you.
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︎ Jun 03 2022
To the person who stole my place in the queue
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︎ Sep 20 2021
To the person who stole my place in the queue...
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︎ Jan 09 2022
Where is the best place to hide in your home when being chased by a murderer?
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︎ Feb 12 2022
To the person who stole my place in the queue..
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︎ Sep 22 2021
To the person who stole my place in the queue
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︎ Sep 20 2021
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