I wasn’t feeling quite like myself one day, so when she ran to me and shouted, “Aluminum!” I responded, “Can it! My plans have been foiled and I’m not in the mood to scrap.”
The funeral director was asking us what we think Mum should wear in her casket.
Mum always loved to wear sarongs (fabric wraps that go around the torso and drape downward a bit like a long skirt would), so my uncle suggested that she wear a sarong in there.
The funeral director looked a bit confused, as did some of our family members, to which my uncle added:
"What's sarong with that?"
I started laughing like an idiot. He was proud of it too. The funeral director was rather shocked. We assured her, and our more proper relatives, that Mum would've absolutely loved the joke (which is very true).
His delivery was perfect. I'll never forget the risk he took. We sometimes recall the moment as a way help cushion the blows of the grieving process.
--Edit-- I appreciate the condolences. I'm doing well and the worst is behind me and my family. But thanks :)
--Edit-- Massive thanks for all the awards and kind words. And the puns! Love 'em.
I would have a daughter
My kids are still able to get in the house.
..a duel meaning.
He replied, "Well, stop going to those places then!"
He thought homes were built, not born.
Theoretical Fizz-ics
It's a complex complex complex.
We'll see about that...
Nell, Edna, Leon, Nedra, Anita, Rolf, Nora, Alice, Carol, Leo, Jane, Reed, Dena, Dale, Basil, Rae, Penny, Lana, Dave, Denny, Lena, Ida, Bernadette, Ben, Ray, Lila, Nina, Jo, Ira, Mara, Sara, Mario, Jan, Ina, Lily, Arne, Bette, Dan, Reba, Diane, Lynn, Ed, Eva, Dana, Lynne, Pearl, Isabel, Ada, Ned, Dee, Rena, Joel, Lora, Cecil, Aaron, Flora, Tina, Arden, Noel, and Ellen.
Seriously, it’s been watching me for hours
Doctor's are sending anyone with Peekaboo, straight to ICU.
They say it’s a blast from the past!
*credit to my 9 year old daughter
Sadly, none of them work.
You don’t know what you’re missing.
It's half empty.
Someone else's jeans...
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
They are both Paris sites
I think she is in love with me.
Plane ones.
I don't wanna spread it.
Courtesy of my 9 year old.
Icy dead people
So I packed my stuff and right.
I’m slowly getting over it
Because, they use honeycombs.
Are they a standbi?
For example, I know what all you are thinking right now. "It's spelt psychic, you idiot. "
Not necesscelery
Cause they lactose
Says he can stop anytime!
I’d tell it here, but it’s a little trashy.
Then how can it choo choo?
Complements of my 6 year old.
18 are too fowl to repeat but this one just quacks me up
I'm bipolar
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can’t rush the progress.
Chrome wasn’t built in a day!
The long answer is Nnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo.
Because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder
Icy dead people.
