Have you heard they’re cleaning pigs with ham sanitizer?

That’s just hogwash!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pathrado
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Doc told me he has good news and bad news for me. Bad news is my organs are shutting down from my eating only pepperoni, ham & salami.

Good news is, I’m cured!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncle_Bug_Music
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I just had some cured ham.

I can't help but wonder what it had that needed cured.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PensionNo8124
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I used to think I was a ham, but saw a psychologist.

Now I'm cured.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2021
🚨︎ report
My cat got sick, so I had to give it some pills. To make my life easier, I wrapped it up in ham.

When it couldn’t run away I could jam the pills in no problem.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sireldo
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
🚨︎ report
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says we don't serve food here

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What should we be eating on Easter instead of Ham?

iHop

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b3tt3rcallsaul
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
If you see an email with ground pork and processed ham in the subject line, don’t open it...

It’s spam.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoccerRN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I just opened a package from my dad which contained canned ham.

He told me it was his first attempt at spam mail.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheFutonEng
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Ham solo
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fluffy_waffles2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I studied Morse code so I could tap out dad jokes with my ham radio, but I only learned half of the code.

So I'm no expert at it, just a pundit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shu-di
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
You know what's best with ham?

JAM

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
more like ham boys
πŸ‘︎ 118
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyYoda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
That’s a nice ham you got there.

It’d be a shame if someone put an S in front of it and an E behind it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canooter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Where is the cheapest place to buy ham?

Hamazon

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uneeq33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a cured ham?

Well first you find a pig with the sniffles...

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vrek86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
ham
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Less-Panda
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Made my friend draw me a ham sand witch!

https://preview.redd.it/spig22o65o651.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=58d660e5243952036705bbb43d4c37ceec0bb61f

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theneatdude2004
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Jon Hamm's Ham
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hugfry
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about all the sick hams?

Don’t worry, they are cured now.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rahastes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked into the kitchen to help my wife prepare dinner and exclaimed, "That’s a nice ham you’ve got there honey! It’d really be a shame if someone..."

"...put an β€˜s’ at the front and an β€˜e’ at the end!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call ham that feels better?

Cured ham.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
For Easter I plan on smoking a ham.

Anyone know where I can find rolling papers big enough to fit one?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says β€˜I dare you to shoplift that ham’

Second banana says β€˜no way, I’m not doing that!’ First banana says β€˜why? You yellow?’

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Ham sandwhich
πŸ‘︎ 168
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If you get an email about canned ham contaminated with COVID-19...

It's spam.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hicycles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What a S(HAM)E
πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wack_broski
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I stopped by the deli to have my typical ham on white or wheat but they were out of both!

My plan for lunch went a-rye.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
All my friends think I’m weird for constantly eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.

But hey, that’s Hawaii roll.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Ham of shame
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leo_sometimes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I ordered a meatball and got a hot ham and swiss instead.

Darn. Wrong sub

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
All you need to take down the ham-burglar
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kremit321
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Ham
πŸ‘︎ 223
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theemptyqueue
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad: *looks at ham*

Also dad: That's a nice ham you got there. Would be a shame if someone put an "e" behind it, and put an "s" infront of it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonyCzech
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why'd they get John Mulaney to play Spider Ham? Because He's a comic!
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monsicorn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Where can you buy cheese and ham in India?

At the Delhi counter.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KCL80
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A Ham Sandwich Walks into a Bar..

Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

Edit; Sorry that this is causing so much controversy in Dad joke world. My Dad literally told me this joke and it totally is a 'Dad joke' in my eyes!

Edit 2 Just want to say some of these comments have had me in bits! Keep them coming Dads! #DadPower

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend was very excited that he passed his ham radio exam first try...

He had no reMorse.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2019
🚨︎ report
A shame of that ham
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrbaseball54
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LavaWolf800
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
That’s a nice ham you have there

It would be a shame if someone put an β€œS” in front of it and an β€œE” at the end of it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeStearn11
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says " sorry, we don't serve food here!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordAlgor7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A Ham Sandwich walks into a bar.

It walks up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OptimalMongoose2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says sorry, we don't serve food here

πŸ‘︎ 174
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dragoon2745
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
As my wife was preparing dinner, I said to her, "That’s a nice ham you’ve got there."

"It’d be a shame if someone put an β€˜s’ at the front and an β€˜e’ at the end."

πŸ‘︎ 141
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here.
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TurdNugget6952
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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