Have you heard theyβre cleaning pigs with ham sanitizer?
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 31 2021
Doc told me he has good news and bad news for me. Bad news is my organs are shutting down from my eating only pepperoni, ham & salami.
Good news is, Iβm cured!
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 22 2021
I just had some cured ham.
I can't help but wonder what it had that needed cured.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 11 2021
I used to think I was a ham, but saw a psychologist.
π︎ 31
π
︎ May 10 2021
My cat got sick, so I had to give it some pills. To make my life easier, I wrapped it up in ham.
When it couldnβt run away I could jam the pills in no problem.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 03 2021
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says we don't serve food here
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
What should we be eating on Easter instead of Ham?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
If you see an email with ground pork and processed ham in the subject line, donβt open it...
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
I just opened a package from my dad which contained canned ham.
He told me it was his first attempt at spam mail.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Ham solo
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
I studied Morse code so I could tap out dad jokes with my ham radio, but I only learned half of the code.
So I'm no expert at it, just a pundit.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 15 2021
more like ham boys
π︎ 122
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
Thatβs a nice ham you got there.
Itβd be a shame if someone put an S in front of it and an E behind it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 03 2020
Where is the cheapest place to buy ham?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 03 2020
How do you make a cured ham?
Well first you find a pig with the sniffles...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 04 2020
ham
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Made my friend draw me a ham sand witch!
https://preview.redd.it/spig22o65o651.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=58d660e5243952036705bbb43d4c37ceec0bb61f
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
Jon Hamm's Ham
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 18 2020
Have you heard about all the sick hams?
Donβt worry, they are cured now.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
I walked into the kitchen to help my wife prepare dinner and exclaimed, "Thatβs a nice ham youβve got there honey! Itβd really be a shame if someone..."
"...put an βsβ at the front and an βeβ at the end!"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jul 07 2020
What do you call ham that feels better?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 30 2020
For Easter I plan on smoking a ham.
Anyone know where I can find rolling papers big enough to fit one?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says βI dare you to shoplift that hamβ
Second banana says βno way, Iβm not doing that!β
First banana says βwhy? You yellow?β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
Ham sandwhich
π︎ 168
π
︎ May 13 2019
If you get an email about canned ham contaminated with COVID-19...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 29 2020
What a S(HAM)E
π︎ 51
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
I stopped by the deli to have my typical ham on white or wheat but they were out of both!
My plan for lunch went a-rye.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
All my friends think Iβm weird for constantly eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.
But hey, thatβs Hawaii roll.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
I ordered a meatball and got a hot ham and swiss instead.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
Ham of shame
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 10 2019
All you need to take down the ham-burglar
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 31 2019
Ham
π︎ 225
π
︎ Oct 20 2018
Dad: *looks at ham*
Also dad: That's a nice ham you got there. Would be a shame if someone put an "e" behind it, and put an "s" infront of it.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
Why'd they get John Mulaney to play Spider Ham? Because He's a comic!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 24 2019
Where can you buy cheese and ham in India?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 24 2020
A Ham Sandwich Walks into a Bar..
Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'
Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'
Edit;
Sorry that this is causing so much controversy in Dad joke world. My Dad literally told me this joke and it totally is a 'Dad joke' in my eyes!
Edit 2
Just want to say some of these comments have had me in bits! Keep them coming Dads! #DadPower
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jul 30 2015
A shame of that ham
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 12 2019
My friend was very excited that he passed his ham radio exam first try...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 15 2019
A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Thatβs a nice ham you have there
It would be a shame if someone put an βSβ in front of it and an βEβ at the end of it.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says " sorry, we don't serve food here!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 14 2020
A Ham Sandwich walks into a bar.
It walks up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'
Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 19 2020
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says sorry, we don't serve food here
π︎ 172
π
︎ Jun 08 2019
As my wife was preparing dinner, I said to her, "Thatβs a nice ham youβve got there."
"Itβd be a shame if someone put an βsβ at the front and an βeβ at the end."
π︎ 138
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we donβt serve food here.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Oct 19 2019
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we donβt serve food here."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
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