Dadjoked my friend today. He didn't get it...others grained and rolled eyes
Talking to friend about work, and how he's having some issues. I ask what's wrong, and he starts to reply
Him: Well...
Me: That's a pretty deep subject.
Shits and giggles from me
My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected
Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.
What do you call a malfunctioning grain elevator?
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
What do you call it when a grain of sand loses its trane of thought?
I was gonna make a joke about grains
But it was a little corny
Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...
... hence, don't take it as gospel.
Me and a couple of friends are arguing how to get out of the grain silo.
We're all in the same oat.
The neighbour's sheep failed to break into the grain shed.
There was no battering ram.
How many grains of salt are in a salt shaker.
If you take grain to a granary, where do you take corn?
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
I found a typo on a bag of grains
It was spelt incorrectly.
Going against the grain here
Chinese takeout: $15.00
Gas to get there: $1.50
Getting home to find they’ve forgotten one of your dishes...
Riceless
I was hired to represent the hard outer layers of cereal grain in a positive light and by doing so help to increase awareness and sales.
What do you call a semi driver rocking out to 80s music while carrying a load of grain?
Haulin’ Oats...
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
I’ll show myself to the door.
-dad
Why does Darth Vader prefer coarse-grain pepper?
He hates it when it's high ground.
What do you call a whole grain that’s zero calories but is rarely used?
What does the farmer say when he sees his grain has caught fire?
What do vegan zombies eat?
The paper this was printed on has a purple grain
What did the mill worker say to the thresher?
You're cutting against the grain.
Planting wheat always gives me a headache.
Every loaf of bread is a tragic reminder of what can happen to grain
if it doesn't become whiskey.
I was looking forward to eat my rice bowl.
But my Brother, like always, ate them. And now he's experiencing really bad headaches.
I guess it's because he has a history of having my-grains.
A bunch of grains got together to protest.
Did you know during the third Reich there was a project to produce energy from a certain type of grain
I'm surprised you never heard of Hitler's rice to power
You guys hear about that grain farmer?
He could barley wheat for his crops to come in.
What does rebellious rice always do?
What did the farmer say when his grains were harvested?
I build factories where grain is grinded into flour. You might think my job isn't lucrative.
But this year I made one mill.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
If you found a tribe of women in a giant field of wheat, would it be an Amazon grain forest?
The price of grass fed beef is higher than grain fed beef, but you wanna know what beef is the most expensive?
Weed fed beef...
High Steaks!
I buddy of mine gave me some flour made from ancient grains. Now I swap small bags of it for baked goods.
I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!
Lots of people are farming wheat and other grains nowadays...
You should always take restaurant suggestions with at least a grain of salt, just in case they don't turn out.
Makes it taste better either way!
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?
Why did the wheat farmer's son become a wheat farmer?
It was inGRAINed in his DNA.
My wife always yells at me for not knowing how to properly season my food, but I don’t mind.
I take it with a pinch of sugar.
Where do Greek chicken farmers throw their grain?
What was the grain truckers favorite band?
What do bakers, carpenters, and horses have in common?
They all like a good grain
My 7 year old came up with a dad joke: What do Zombie Cows say?
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