What did the kernel of corn say to the other after they sealed the deal?

β€œI guess it’s kettled then!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BM_14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Why did the kernel get fired?

He got caught sleeping on the cob.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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What do you call a corn cob with only one kernel? /r/Jokes/comments/fm1mmc/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_morbid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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What do you call a single kernel on a corn cob?

A unicorn

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakecupbake
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.

She is a unicorn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heressentialhand
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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If KFC ran a linux system it would be called "Kernel Sanders"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unit4
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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It made me pop a kernel
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TSOT7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?

Americorn.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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Did you hear the one about the introverted corn kernel that went to the party.

When things got heated, they say he really popped when he came out of his shell.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkshadow543
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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My mother-in-law was having dinner with us, and began coughing while eating her corn on the cob. She said, "I'm choking on a kernel of corn".

I said "at least it wasn't a General of Corn". No one laughed except me.

πŸ‘︎ 110
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2016
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If Colonel Sanders made popcorn, it would be called Colonel's Kernels.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/norskie7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2014
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Why did the popcorn want to press charges?

Because it was a-salt-ed!

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wheelnebula
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Do you want to hear a joke about maize?

No you don't, it's really corny.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OracleOfWherever
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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I once got lost in a corn field

It was an a-maize-ing experience

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Corn is such a good friend to talk to

They’re all ears

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sakins1228
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Why do you never pick a fight with popcorn?

They have too many kernels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prockibo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Where do all these corny jokes come from?

A dad-a-base

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πŸ‘€︎ u/agent925
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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A dad joke is a dad joke. Unless it's corny.

Then it's popcorn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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What does KFC use to make their popcorn chicken...?

Chicken Kernels

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jsm1095
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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Lend me an ear for a corny joke.

It really a'maize'ing, because of how it pops. And at the end a kernel of truth. It's a grain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dukbrand
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Food suicide
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshP0d
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
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Who's in charge of Kentucky Fried Popcorn?

Kernel Saunders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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What did the baby corn call his dad?

Popcorn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatponygirl
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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People say my jokes are corny

But I disagree, there’s a starch contrast between corny and funny.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redjai15
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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I’m horrified to admit I don’t have any corny jokes today.

If you have one though, I’m all ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnoyingAzathoth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?

A kernel.

Sorry guys, a bit corny that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Queef_Snortah
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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My Yik Yak feed delivers

http://i.imgur.com/LT5FoFE.png

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danididdle23
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
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Why can you buy corn at KFC?

Because of the Kernel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apex024
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Watching Children of the Corn...

I bet the highest ranking military official is a kernel.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/islandjustice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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What do you call corn that joins the army?

Kernel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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Got the family at dinner: β€œCorn is great but You know the one problem with corn?”

β€œIt’s corny.”

Everyone: groans and laughter

Wife: β€œok that one was clever.”

Me: β€œThere was a kernel of truth to it.”

Wife: broken with laughter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaw2885
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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Did you hear about the popcorn that got kicked out of the military

It used to be a kernel

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?

Kernel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndemerson
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the corn cob that joined the army?

It was promoted to kernel!

πŸ‘︎ 119
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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I know puns are corny...

..but without them, I'm just a husk of a man.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/managong
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Since you liked the dino, I'll starch making regular submissions.
πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENoland8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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Who invented popcorn chicken?

Kernel Sanders

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EZasPIEguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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In lecture this morning my professor...

My professor was talking about Barbara McClintocks work on corn kernel genetics. He stops all the sudden and says "her work really is not all that a-mazeing." He then proceed to look around to see if we laughed, Which almost no one did, cleared his throat and went back to lecturing.

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ipittydafoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
🚨︎ report
What happens when you stick a needle to a unicorn balloon?

it becomes a Popcorn

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowlbert
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Made a dad joke on Facebook. My dad friend mercilessly shows me how it's done

My status: Any tips on how to keep raccoons from eating my corn crop? I'm all ears. But seriously raccoons are assholes.

Dad friend responds back to back.

"There's a kernel of truth to that statement!"

"But shucks, poor guys can't help it."

"Maybe get your dog to start stalking them."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Old_Army90
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad and burnt popcorn

Dad: I smell something burning

Me: Yeah, I made some popcorn and burned a few kernels.

Dad: At least you didn't burn any generals.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZebraAthletics
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad was husking corn.

He was surprised at how large the kernels were. "These kernels are large. So large in fact, that they're major."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shambles299
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joke at the dinner table.

My family was at the table, eating a nice meal. My mom had prepared some corn, and my brother didn't find it to be satisfactory.

"These kernels are too small!" he said.

My dad replied with "Maybe they're just lieutenants."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdmiralMudkip
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
🚨︎ report
I thought of a joke

So a dad and his son are setting the table for thanksgiving and the dad taps his sons shoulder and points to the bowl of corn and says " see all those kernels? Someday they'll all be generals."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zoocy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call corn in the military?

Kernel

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Longjumping_Pie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a Unicorn say?

Kernel.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dsmith23
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report

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